Well....
I have a new mantra.
Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
Isn't it pretty? Too bad I'm more serious than joking. What brings it on? Oh well, life, family, family, did I mention family? I'm not sure if I'm depressed now or not. I know for absolute certainty I was earlier. Maybe I'm just feeling...really not up to par.
I'm not sure how connected I've been with everyone lately. Connected as in how often I've seen anyone and if I've said anything about what's happening in my life right now. So I guess it's a spew fest here tonight.
My sister has filed for divorce and has a restraining order for her soon to be ex-husband. That just depresses the hell out of me for some reason. She's living in one of those "homes for abused women" since I can't think of what the name for those places is. All I know is we drop her off in a parking lot, and leave. We don't know where exactly she lives. Though we do know she's safe, and so are the kids.
Today it fell to dad and myself to drop her, Evan and the baby off in the parking lot, and this time we watched her walk away, though we didn't stay to see which house she went into. But watching her with Evan on her back and the baby in a stroller walking in this..not quite run-down neighborhood just about broke my heart. It sucks so much to have to see my sister going through this rough spot. It sucks hardcore.
I'm hoping that after she gets into a transitional house she can get into school, and then be able to get a good job. One where she won't have to really bust her ass to support herself, and her children.
It's a fucked up world where houses like the one she's at have to be made to protect women like her. Sometimes I get so...angry, at her husband that'd I'd LOVE, absolutely LOVE to go down to their house and just beat the shit out of him. I know that sometimes my dad would like to do the same. My mom probably would too but....that's not going to be happening. And if I think on this topic any more I'm going to break down and sob like a baby.
My older brother, Lathan, is leaving for boot camp soon. Except he'll be Army instead of Navy like all the other guys in my family. After he gets through boot camp, he'll go to school to learn how to drive armored vehicles. And then once that schooling is done, he's in the next wave of people going to Iraq.
We're still pretty much in limbo as to where we might be moving, or if we're staying here this summer. The waiting blows, but it's a tolerable sort of thing. We're just really wondering if dad will be promoted or not. I know my mom especially is crossing her fingers for it.
Right now, I feel as if my life is slowly going to hell in a handbasket. Or at least the lives of my family members. A couple days ago at work, Jennifer started bitching about "how hard" her life is, and that she's pissed that she has to close the store 4 nights out of 7. Which made me sort of blow up at her. Mostly my rant went along the lines of her not knowing what a "hard life" is like, and sort of laughing at her. She's so pathetic.
On a completely random topic, I'm not sure I'm pleased with the ending of X. Then again, there's not a whole lot that COULD have been done with the end. But did they have to make it so anti-climactic? That's all I'll say on this matter since some people don't want to know.
School starts next Monday, and tomorrow I go to buy books. I might ask Justin if he wants to hang out with me since I'm feeling...nostalgic I guess might be the word.
I guess this update is just about done. I usually don't type much of anything worth something, so updates will stay as they are now. Since my updating is done just about as often as it's actually read, I'll be counting it lucky to update more than twice a month. Yes, impressive isn't it? I'll try to keep the updates somewhat long-ish so if I haven't chatted with anyone who might read this, they'll be informed.
P.S.
Did I mention how utterly fucking disconnected I feel to everyone/thing right now?
Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
Isn't it pretty? Too bad I'm more serious than joking. What brings it on? Oh well, life, family, family, did I mention family? I'm not sure if I'm depressed now or not. I know for absolute certainty I was earlier. Maybe I'm just feeling...really not up to par.
I'm not sure how connected I've been with everyone lately. Connected as in how often I've seen anyone and if I've said anything about what's happening in my life right now. So I guess it's a spew fest here tonight.
My sister has filed for divorce and has a restraining order for her soon to be ex-husband. That just depresses the hell out of me for some reason. She's living in one of those "homes for abused women" since I can't think of what the name for those places is. All I know is we drop her off in a parking lot, and leave. We don't know where exactly she lives. Though we do know she's safe, and so are the kids.
Today it fell to dad and myself to drop her, Evan and the baby off in the parking lot, and this time we watched her walk away, though we didn't stay to see which house she went into. But watching her with Evan on her back and the baby in a stroller walking in this..not quite run-down neighborhood just about broke my heart. It sucks so much to have to see my sister going through this rough spot. It sucks hardcore.
I'm hoping that after she gets into a transitional house she can get into school, and then be able to get a good job. One where she won't have to really bust her ass to support herself, and her children.
It's a fucked up world where houses like the one she's at have to be made to protect women like her. Sometimes I get so...angry, at her husband that'd I'd LOVE, absolutely LOVE to go down to their house and just beat the shit out of him. I know that sometimes my dad would like to do the same. My mom probably would too but....that's not going to be happening. And if I think on this topic any more I'm going to break down and sob like a baby.
My older brother, Lathan, is leaving for boot camp soon. Except he'll be Army instead of Navy like all the other guys in my family. After he gets through boot camp, he'll go to school to learn how to drive armored vehicles. And then once that schooling is done, he's in the next wave of people going to Iraq.
We're still pretty much in limbo as to where we might be moving, or if we're staying here this summer. The waiting blows, but it's a tolerable sort of thing. We're just really wondering if dad will be promoted or not. I know my mom especially is crossing her fingers for it.
Right now, I feel as if my life is slowly going to hell in a handbasket. Or at least the lives of my family members. A couple days ago at work, Jennifer started bitching about "how hard" her life is, and that she's pissed that she has to close the store 4 nights out of 7. Which made me sort of blow up at her. Mostly my rant went along the lines of her not knowing what a "hard life" is like, and sort of laughing at her. She's so pathetic.
On a completely random topic, I'm not sure I'm pleased with the ending of X. Then again, there's not a whole lot that COULD have been done with the end. But did they have to make it so anti-climactic? That's all I'll say on this matter since some people don't want to know.
School starts next Monday, and tomorrow I go to buy books. I might ask Justin if he wants to hang out with me since I'm feeling...nostalgic I guess might be the word.
I guess this update is just about done. I usually don't type much of anything worth something, so updates will stay as they are now. Since my updating is done just about as often as it's actually read, I'll be counting it lucky to update more than twice a month. Yes, impressive isn't it? I'll try to keep the updates somewhat long-ish so if I haven't chatted with anyone who might read this, they'll be informed.
P.S.
Did I mention how utterly fucking disconnected I feel to everyone/thing right now?