dont get it
lately i've been doing so much better than i have. im getting back into the swing of things and i thought i was getting everything to how it should be..until about an hour ago? i dont understand why i've just been getting bad news this year and its all big things. good things have happened too but tonight topped it off and its almost as if i have to rush growing up. its tough because i dont know how to do it, nor do i want to. now its more like i have to accomplish as much as possible to prove that i will be fine. and of course this wont make sense to anyone, and of course i'll still wanna have fun but i just dont know how to change the way i live. a lot of stuff hapenned this past summer and it didnt bother me, but now its all starting to add up and im still dont know what my responsibilities are. and tonight probably just makes it even more confusing. i just dont understand how im supposed to take all this in or how im even supposed to know how to handle it. a few days ago i was so convinced that everything was going to be alrite, but wtf, ive never had so much shit change in my life. because where i was a year ago and what my priorities were are different from where i am, who i'm with, and what my priorities are now. and i could use some help. what bothers me most is that i dont think i'm changing because i want to, its like im being forced to change. and it pretty much seems like i have nothing to be happy about, but i do. this just doesent make sense. we'll just see what i can make out of it.