Work is lots of ... work.
Right now I should be studying for my Philosophy of Punishment mid-term that is in an hour and a half ... but I'm not. I haven't even attended most of the lectures or done most of the readings, which don't make much sense to me anyway. I'm pretty much going to rely on my well-honed bullshitting skillz.
Apparently yesterday was Valentine's Day, but it really didn't feel like it. Ron and I did spend the entire day together since his car couldn't make it to work (or, more likely, he didn't feel like going to work) but I spent most of it on the computer and on the phone doing interviews like I had the day before. It was nice but I felt like a bad girlfriend. I called in sick to work for my shift tonight and I'm not working tomorrow or Saturday at least, so maybe we can have some gushy couple time then. But, honestly, most days feel like Valentine's Day. (I know, even I want to throw up when I re-read that.) At least he said he was thinking of getting me a Dick In A Box. That's gotta count for something, right?
We got a shitload of snow. For Toronto, anyway.
I think I'm going to pop into the Stag Shop tomorrow and pick up a few things. I have no idea what yet, though. I was looking at some stuff online but it's kind of awkward since I'm at school and surrounded by over-worked male students with wandering eyes.
The "first draft" of my feature in Feature Writing was due today and I did most of the interviews and all of the writing in less than two days. I stayed up until about 2 a.m. writing and then woke up at around 5:30 when Ron's alarm went off; finally got out of bed at 6 and kept writing until 8:30. I'm a champ!
I was surprised to find that most of the class didn't even show up to hand their first drafts in because it's worth 30% of our final grade and Bruce has pretty strict late penalties compared to a lot of profs. Every day you hand it in late you lose one marginal letter grade on your final draft. So, if you hand it in a day late and you would have originally gotten a B then you'll end up with a B-. That kind of thing. But that adds up and who knows what your grade will be. I didn't hand in a piece of garbage but I know it would have been much better had I actually spent the whole three months working on it. The final draft is due March 22 so I think I'll try and work on it continuously until then.
Almost all of my interviews were amazing; none were bad. It was really great to speak with so many women about childbirth. Even though I still have no idea whether I want to have kids or not, I always feel like I have no one to ask questions to when I am curious about certain things because my mom is gone. I never really thought to ask her anything when I was younger. I think that's the best part about journalism: that you can learn so much about yourself while doing research and learning about other people. I'm pretty confident about the kind of care I'd want if and/or when it comes time for me to have children, and I have less fear about it since it's all less of a mystery.
But, if anything, talking to so many alternative health practitioners, especially doulas, has made me even more critical of doctors and our health care system, and I think it's going to empower me to advocate for myself as I get older and have more personal encounters with doctors. I think we forget that they work for us and we are allowed to ask questions and we are allowed to refuse their recommendations, and they don't always know what's best. The other thing I've learned is that they have no consideration whatsoever for people's mental or emotional well-being. Everything is medical.
Anyway, here's the first draft of my article. Please read it and pick it apart. Edit it. Do your worst! I have to edit it down to 2000 words for the final draft, so anything you think is unnecessary, please say so. I have no idea what I want to trim down ... I actually want to add more!
Cassandra Jowett
Birthing
February 15, 2007
2557 words
When she first went into labour with her twin girls at 29 weeks pregnant, Sheri Menelli, a hypnotherapist and childbirth educator, refused to have a Cesarean section birth. Not only did her daughters share a placenta, a fairly common occurrence in multiple births, but they also shared an amniotic sac when they should have had one each and were twisted up in their umbilical cords. Despite the complications, she had always wanted a completely natural birth without medication or surgery.
Menelli knew the affects a C-section could have: the babies and some of her own organs could be cut during surgery; without the natural squeezing provided by the birth canal it would be harder for them to breathe on their own and their lungs would have to be cleared by suctioning, leaving them more likely to develop upper-respiratory problems, neo-natal pneumonia and asthma; they wouldn’t get the chance to bond immediately; her breast milk supply could be reduced; she would be at a higher risk for post-partum depression; and she might not be able to have a Vaginal Birth After Cesarean (VBAC) when giving birth to future children. Other medical risks include hemorrhaging, blood clots, bowel obstruction, and infection in the mother.
It wasn’t until she got the opinion of a well-respected California doctor that she changed her mind and agreed to undergo the surgery for the sake of her daughters’ health.
In Canada today, statistics suggest that anywhere from 20 to 30 per cent of all births are C-sections. Most of them are for medical reasons, such as a breech baby - where the baby is entering the birth canal bum or feet-first; the mom having diabetes, heart disease, herpes or high blood pressure; or when multiple births are going to take place. About 10 per cent of births, however, are C-sections that are not performed for medical or emergency reasons; they are scheduled in advance either because the mom does not want to endure the pain and stress of labour, or because she has a demanding career and needs to know exactly when her baby will be born and how much time she will require off work. Menelli says that in California, where she’s from, some doctors try to glamourize C-sections to their patients to avoid coming in conflict with their malpractice insurance by having a vaginal birth with a higher-risk patient: “These women are given the idea that C-sections are less painful and easier than natural birth. In reality, they are much more difficult.”
Menelli’s surgery, however, was a textbook one. With the exception of some numbness of her belly where it was cut, which she still feels today, she has experienced virtually no side affects and didn’t require any medication. “I just felt like I did too many sit-ups. It was a very good C-section.” Despite this, she still highly recommends going natural if at all possible.
“After I had my C-section, I felt like it wasn’t complete. I wanted to give birth again. I thought, ‘Did I really give birth?’” A midwife even recommended that she get in a bath and pretend to give birth vaginally in order to achieve the experience she so desired and further bond with her daughters. She realized that even though her physical side effects were minimal, it was the emotional and mental ones that did the most damage.
“If a woman is not prepared for a C-section, it can feel like her body has failed her. She thinks, ‘Maybe I’m just a defective human being,’ leaving her at a higher risk for postpartum depression,” says Julia MacNeil, a birth doula, mother of three and grandmother of two. While obstetricians have many reasons for suggesting a C-section, MacNeil feels that the most common reason is a woman’s failure to progress further into the labour or, as she puts it: the doctor’s failure to be patient. “They don’t understand the power of birth. They only see it as a medical event instead of a life-changing event,” one that can make women feel either supremely empowered or completely defeated. Putting the mom on a medical timeline is that not in synch with her body’s natural timeline can make her feel anxious about the birth. “We need to re-define what ‘normal’ is.”
Fear can be the biggest contributor to the prolonging of labour and the failure to progress. The hormones a woman’s body releases when she is experiencing fear forces blood to her extremities and away from her uterus, where it is needed the most. Depleted of blood, the uterus can no longer contact the way it’s supposed to in order to deliver the baby and might force the mom to be in labour for hours or even days longer than she would be if she was calm and relaxed.
“After eight hours of labour, any woman would take a can opener to her own belly. It’s natural to want to take the easiest route,” MacNeil admits. That is exactly why women should be thoroughly educated about their options and the consequences of those options long before they ever have their first contraction, and why many soon-to-be moms are turning to doulas like MacNeil to explore the decisions they will have to make during labour. The idea is that if they are aware of the pros and cons of every birthing method, medication and procedure they might encounter on the journey through the delivery of their baby - many of which obstetricians either don’t have the time to mention or don’t want conflicting with their recommendations - they can become more responsible for their own birth experience and have as positive an experience as possible.
A doula - which is a Greek word meaning “a woman who serves” - is hired by an expectant mother to aid not only in the delivery of her baby, but also in the preparations before and challenges after the birth. A doula is different from a midwife in that she is not considered a primary caregiver, meaning she cannot perform the medical procedures or order the diagnostic tests that midwives and obstetricians can, such as vaginal exams, fetal heart and blood pressure checks, and ultrasounds. A doulas role is to provide emotional, mental, spiritual and sometimes physical support - but not in a medical sense. They are not covered by the Ontario Ministry of Health and Long-Term Care because they are required to work alongside the primary caregiver and duplicate services aren’t paid for.
Depending on the services a mom wants from her doula, the average fee can come in at around $1000. Services can include any number of in-home pre-natal visits, 24-hour support by phone, support at the actual birth through massage and other calming techniques, and postpartum visits to help with challenges such as breastfeeding or getting the baby to sleep through the night. Some doulas even include documentation of the whole event so moms and their partners don’t have to worry about snapping pictures or remembering every minute detail.
The cost may be worth it to women who want a completely natural birth because statistics suggest that doulas can reduce the need for epidural anesthesia by 60 per cent, cut the chances of having a C-section in half and help women shorten their labour time by 25 per cent. These results are achieved primarily through a series of relaxation techniques, sometimes involving hypnosis. Doulas also provide the mother with the comfort and experience of having been part of dozens or even hundreds of births while, at the same time, supporting her unique birth experience in a way that medical professionals are often unable to due to their exhausting schedules.
Jennifer Elliot, a certified hypnotherapist, doula and childbirth educator with more than 12 years of experience and over 100 births under her belt, reminds the women she cares for that their bodies were designed to give birth and that it is not something they should fear or avoid by having a C-section. “I’m not necessarily working to prevent Cesareans; I’m working to help provide a natural, normal vaginal birth. I find that you get what you focus on.” She tries to reach that goal with her clients through breathing and focusing exercises, ensuring they are resting and eating properly during early labour and by encouraging them to remain in the comfort of their own home for as long as possible. Progressing through labour at a hospital can be difficult for a lot of women because it is a foreign environment where many overwhelming things are happening at once, often increasing panic and the chances of becoming too fatigued to deliver the baby vaginally without medication or surgery.
“Our medical system is extremely cavalier about the importance of birth to women,” argues Elliot. Simply ensuring the physical health of mother and baby is not enough; the mental and emotional well-being of the mother must be ensured as well to avoid not just postpartum depression, but what Elliot calls a kind of post traumatic stress disorder. “Even though harm is not necessarily done to her or her baby, women often feel that, in retrospect, they didn’t make the best decision. They think, ‘I didn’t speak up for myself. I was pushed into doing this.’ We need to be really worried about women experiencing this.”
In cases where C-sections are performed, either chosen by the mother in advance or in an emergency situation, Elliot recommends that a mom should avoid this kind of guilt and regret by demanding immediate skin-to-skin contact with her baby. Since the mom will have fresh wounds from surgery, her partner or doula can support the baby for her near her neck or face. “There’s no reason they can’t be more connected than we connect them normally.”
When Kirsty Sheen-Kernohan gave birth to her son Liam in 2004, she laboured for over 27 hours and says she was probably within ten to fifteen minutes of submitting to having a C-section. Her birth plan was a natural one: “I thought, ‘I will not have an epidural. No drugs. Don’t even ask me about drugs!” She attributes this partly to the fact that she’s always thought of birth as a natural process, but also because she has a fear of needles and prefers not to have any surgery done unless it’s life or death, including C-sections. However, she understands why many women do end up having the surgery done.
Sheen-Kernohan and her husband are trying to get pregnant again, and this time they’re looking into hiring a doula. “Nurses and doctors are busy so they don’t have time for emotional support. I was raised to believe that babies are born in hospitals, but it’s not comforting. I felt like I was in a baby factory.” She also lost her own mother while she was pregnant with Liam and feels she missed out on the idea of “mothering the mother,” which is something a doula can provide.
Sheen-Kernohan is the founder and editor of York Region Baby.com, an online resource for all things having to do with parents and their children under the age of five in York Region. In doing research for her website she discovered there are many more options than she knew about when she was pregnant with Liam - she took prenatal classes at her local hospital, which a lot of childbirth educators warn against because they don’t always inform you of all the options - like doulas, home birthing and other alternative methods like hypnosis and water birthing, where the mother is submerged in a pool of warm water from the chest down during the labour and delivery.
“There is such a pressure on moms because a lot of people judge a mother on whether or not she had a natural birth, whether or not she breastfeeds, whether or not she goes back to work. I don’t judge.” She likens birthing and parenting issues to abortion issues: “Everyone needs to relax and do what’s right for them and their families. Women should support each other.”
Like Sheen-Kernohan, Sheri Menelli is also trying to create a network of supportive women and positive birth stories. “It’s important to seek out the most positive birth stories you can. It’s like, if you want to become a millionaire, do you ask someone who’s already done it or do you ask someone who is living in poverty?”
Menelli has compiled what she considers the most positive birthing stories in her book Journey into Motherhood: Inspirational Stories of Natural Birth to try to educate women in a positive way to be responsible for their own births, rather than terrorizing them about what birth is like through reality television and reports of celebrity C-sections. The most important thing she advocates for women, however, is finding a primary health care provider who will allow them to be responsible for their birth experiences long before they ever become pregnant.
That’s exactly what Rosanne Alyea feels she has accomplished. The 33-year-old first-time mom is 30 weeks pregnant and has every aspect of her birth plan mapped out. She and her husband, Grant, have decided to go with a midwife instead of an obstetrician because they wanted to learn as much as possible about all of the tests and procedures without being pressured into choosing one or the other. “They will tell you as much as they know regarding any questions you may have, but they never push you one way or the other. An example would be getting prenatal screening done for possible defects or conditions the fetus may have: they will tell you what they know about it, but want you to make your own choice. Conventional OBs would typically steer you to do such things as though they were a necessary part of the pregnancy.”
Alyea opted out of genetic screening because the test involved a one in two hundred chance of miscarriage, and decided only to get the “necessary” ultrasounds done at 12 and 18 weeks pregnant so she would know how many babies she was having, to make sure her baby’s anatomy was developing correctly and to foresee any possible defects that could affect the labour.
Grant is a chiropractor, “so there is already resistance between his beliefs and those of the hospital and conventional medicine. When it comes to having a baby, it's no exception.” They both have very strong views about avoiding the use of medical intervention in delivery but as she gets closer to the big day she’s realizing that it may not be possible. She hopes that the comfort and expertise of her midwife and the relaxation techniques she has prepared -“I am a big believer that music and smell can psychologically elicit certain feelings of calm and peace if they are associated with positive memories” - will be enough to help her overcome the pain of a natural childbirth, but says she is not naïve enough to believe that she can do it when she has no idea what her experience will be like. “It's so hard to predict what you can tolerate.”
Until the birth, she plans on continuing to seek the positive birth stories of other women, like those of Sheri Menelli and Kirsty Sheen-Kernohan. She hopes her dream of a natural birth will come true not only for her and her baby, but also because she has developed an important relationship with her midwife and wants her as involved as possible in the birth, both medically and emotionally.
Apparently yesterday was Valentine's Day, but it really didn't feel like it. Ron and I did spend the entire day together since his car couldn't make it to work (or, more likely, he didn't feel like going to work) but I spent most of it on the computer and on the phone doing interviews like I had the day before. It was nice but I felt like a bad girlfriend. I called in sick to work for my shift tonight and I'm not working tomorrow or Saturday at least, so maybe we can have some gushy couple time then. But, honestly, most days feel like Valentine's Day. (I know, even I want to throw up when I re-read that.) At least he said he was thinking of getting me a Dick In A Box. That's gotta count for something, right?
We got a shitload of snow. For Toronto, anyway.
I think I'm going to pop into the Stag Shop tomorrow and pick up a few things. I have no idea what yet, though. I was looking at some stuff online but it's kind of awkward since I'm at school and surrounded by over-worked male students with wandering eyes.
The "first draft" of my feature in Feature Writing was due today and I did most of the interviews and all of the writing in less than two days. I stayed up until about 2 a.m. writing and then woke up at around 5:30 when Ron's alarm went off; finally got out of bed at 6 and kept writing until 8:30. I'm a champ!
I was surprised to find that most of the class didn't even show up to hand their first drafts in because it's worth 30% of our final grade and Bruce has pretty strict late penalties compared to a lot of profs. Every day you hand it in late you lose one marginal letter grade on your final draft. So, if you hand it in a day late and you would have originally gotten a B then you'll end up with a B-. That kind of thing. But that adds up and who knows what your grade will be. I didn't hand in a piece of garbage but I know it would have been much better had I actually spent the whole three months working on it. The final draft is due March 22 so I think I'll try and work on it continuously until then.
Almost all of my interviews were amazing; none were bad. It was really great to speak with so many women about childbirth. Even though I still have no idea whether I want to have kids or not, I always feel like I have no one to ask questions to when I am curious about certain things because my mom is gone. I never really thought to ask her anything when I was younger. I think that's the best part about journalism: that you can learn so much about yourself while doing research and learning about other people. I'm pretty confident about the kind of care I'd want if and/or when it comes time for me to have children, and I have less fear about it since it's all less of a mystery.
But, if anything, talking to so many alternative health practitioners, especially doulas, has made me even more critical of doctors and our health care system, and I think it's going to empower me to advocate for myself as I get older and have more personal encounters with doctors. I think we forget that they work for us and we are allowed to ask questions and we are allowed to refuse their recommendations, and they don't always know what's best. The other thing I've learned is that they have no consideration whatsoever for people's mental or emotional well-being. Everything is medical.
Anyway, here's the first draft of my article. Please read it and pick it apart. Edit it. Do your worst! I have to edit it down to 2000 words for the final draft, so anything you think is unnecessary, please say so. I have no idea what I want to trim down ... I actually want to add more!
Cassandra Jowett
Birthing
February 15, 2007
2557 words
When she first went into labour with her twin girls at 29 weeks pregnant, Sheri Menelli, a hypnotherapist and childbirth educator, refused to have a Cesarean section birth. Not only did her daughters share a placenta, a fairly common occurrence in multiple births, but they also shared an amniotic sac when they should have had one each and were twisted up in their umbilical cords. Despite the complications, she had always wanted a completely natural birth without medication or surgery.
Menelli knew the affects a C-section could have: the babies and some of her own organs could be cut during surgery; without the natural squeezing provided by the birth canal it would be harder for them to breathe on their own and their lungs would have to be cleared by suctioning, leaving them more likely to develop upper-respiratory problems, neo-natal pneumonia and asthma; they wouldn’t get the chance to bond immediately; her breast milk supply could be reduced; she would be at a higher risk for post-partum depression; and she might not be able to have a Vaginal Birth After Cesarean (VBAC) when giving birth to future children. Other medical risks include hemorrhaging, blood clots, bowel obstruction, and infection in the mother.
It wasn’t until she got the opinion of a well-respected California doctor that she changed her mind and agreed to undergo the surgery for the sake of her daughters’ health.
In Canada today, statistics suggest that anywhere from 20 to 30 per cent of all births are C-sections. Most of them are for medical reasons, such as a breech baby - where the baby is entering the birth canal bum or feet-first; the mom having diabetes, heart disease, herpes or high blood pressure; or when multiple births are going to take place. About 10 per cent of births, however, are C-sections that are not performed for medical or emergency reasons; they are scheduled in advance either because the mom does not want to endure the pain and stress of labour, or because she has a demanding career and needs to know exactly when her baby will be born and how much time she will require off work. Menelli says that in California, where she’s from, some doctors try to glamourize C-sections to their patients to avoid coming in conflict with their malpractice insurance by having a vaginal birth with a higher-risk patient: “These women are given the idea that C-sections are less painful and easier than natural birth. In reality, they are much more difficult.”
Menelli’s surgery, however, was a textbook one. With the exception of some numbness of her belly where it was cut, which she still feels today, she has experienced virtually no side affects and didn’t require any medication. “I just felt like I did too many sit-ups. It was a very good C-section.” Despite this, she still highly recommends going natural if at all possible.
“After I had my C-section, I felt like it wasn’t complete. I wanted to give birth again. I thought, ‘Did I really give birth?’” A midwife even recommended that she get in a bath and pretend to give birth vaginally in order to achieve the experience she so desired and further bond with her daughters. She realized that even though her physical side effects were minimal, it was the emotional and mental ones that did the most damage.
“If a woman is not prepared for a C-section, it can feel like her body has failed her. She thinks, ‘Maybe I’m just a defective human being,’ leaving her at a higher risk for postpartum depression,” says Julia MacNeil, a birth doula, mother of three and grandmother of two. While obstetricians have many reasons for suggesting a C-section, MacNeil feels that the most common reason is a woman’s failure to progress further into the labour or, as she puts it: the doctor’s failure to be patient. “They don’t understand the power of birth. They only see it as a medical event instead of a life-changing event,” one that can make women feel either supremely empowered or completely defeated. Putting the mom on a medical timeline is that not in synch with her body’s natural timeline can make her feel anxious about the birth. “We need to re-define what ‘normal’ is.”
Fear can be the biggest contributor to the prolonging of labour and the failure to progress. The hormones a woman’s body releases when she is experiencing fear forces blood to her extremities and away from her uterus, where it is needed the most. Depleted of blood, the uterus can no longer contact the way it’s supposed to in order to deliver the baby and might force the mom to be in labour for hours or even days longer than she would be if she was calm and relaxed.
“After eight hours of labour, any woman would take a can opener to her own belly. It’s natural to want to take the easiest route,” MacNeil admits. That is exactly why women should be thoroughly educated about their options and the consequences of those options long before they ever have their first contraction, and why many soon-to-be moms are turning to doulas like MacNeil to explore the decisions they will have to make during labour. The idea is that if they are aware of the pros and cons of every birthing method, medication and procedure they might encounter on the journey through the delivery of their baby - many of which obstetricians either don’t have the time to mention or don’t want conflicting with their recommendations - they can become more responsible for their own birth experience and have as positive an experience as possible.
A doula - which is a Greek word meaning “a woman who serves” - is hired by an expectant mother to aid not only in the delivery of her baby, but also in the preparations before and challenges after the birth. A doula is different from a midwife in that she is not considered a primary caregiver, meaning she cannot perform the medical procedures or order the diagnostic tests that midwives and obstetricians can, such as vaginal exams, fetal heart and blood pressure checks, and ultrasounds. A doulas role is to provide emotional, mental, spiritual and sometimes physical support - but not in a medical sense. They are not covered by the Ontario Ministry of Health and Long-Term Care because they are required to work alongside the primary caregiver and duplicate services aren’t paid for.
Depending on the services a mom wants from her doula, the average fee can come in at around $1000. Services can include any number of in-home pre-natal visits, 24-hour support by phone, support at the actual birth through massage and other calming techniques, and postpartum visits to help with challenges such as breastfeeding or getting the baby to sleep through the night. Some doulas even include documentation of the whole event so moms and their partners don’t have to worry about snapping pictures or remembering every minute detail.
The cost may be worth it to women who want a completely natural birth because statistics suggest that doulas can reduce the need for epidural anesthesia by 60 per cent, cut the chances of having a C-section in half and help women shorten their labour time by 25 per cent. These results are achieved primarily through a series of relaxation techniques, sometimes involving hypnosis. Doulas also provide the mother with the comfort and experience of having been part of dozens or even hundreds of births while, at the same time, supporting her unique birth experience in a way that medical professionals are often unable to due to their exhausting schedules.
Jennifer Elliot, a certified hypnotherapist, doula and childbirth educator with more than 12 years of experience and over 100 births under her belt, reminds the women she cares for that their bodies were designed to give birth and that it is not something they should fear or avoid by having a C-section. “I’m not necessarily working to prevent Cesareans; I’m working to help provide a natural, normal vaginal birth. I find that you get what you focus on.” She tries to reach that goal with her clients through breathing and focusing exercises, ensuring they are resting and eating properly during early labour and by encouraging them to remain in the comfort of their own home for as long as possible. Progressing through labour at a hospital can be difficult for a lot of women because it is a foreign environment where many overwhelming things are happening at once, often increasing panic and the chances of becoming too fatigued to deliver the baby vaginally without medication or surgery.
“Our medical system is extremely cavalier about the importance of birth to women,” argues Elliot. Simply ensuring the physical health of mother and baby is not enough; the mental and emotional well-being of the mother must be ensured as well to avoid not just postpartum depression, but what Elliot calls a kind of post traumatic stress disorder. “Even though harm is not necessarily done to her or her baby, women often feel that, in retrospect, they didn’t make the best decision. They think, ‘I didn’t speak up for myself. I was pushed into doing this.’ We need to be really worried about women experiencing this.”
In cases where C-sections are performed, either chosen by the mother in advance or in an emergency situation, Elliot recommends that a mom should avoid this kind of guilt and regret by demanding immediate skin-to-skin contact with her baby. Since the mom will have fresh wounds from surgery, her partner or doula can support the baby for her near her neck or face. “There’s no reason they can’t be more connected than we connect them normally.”
When Kirsty Sheen-Kernohan gave birth to her son Liam in 2004, she laboured for over 27 hours and says she was probably within ten to fifteen minutes of submitting to having a C-section. Her birth plan was a natural one: “I thought, ‘I will not have an epidural. No drugs. Don’t even ask me about drugs!” She attributes this partly to the fact that she’s always thought of birth as a natural process, but also because she has a fear of needles and prefers not to have any surgery done unless it’s life or death, including C-sections. However, she understands why many women do end up having the surgery done.
Sheen-Kernohan and her husband are trying to get pregnant again, and this time they’re looking into hiring a doula. “Nurses and doctors are busy so they don’t have time for emotional support. I was raised to believe that babies are born in hospitals, but it’s not comforting. I felt like I was in a baby factory.” She also lost her own mother while she was pregnant with Liam and feels she missed out on the idea of “mothering the mother,” which is something a doula can provide.
Sheen-Kernohan is the founder and editor of York Region Baby.com, an online resource for all things having to do with parents and their children under the age of five in York Region. In doing research for her website she discovered there are many more options than she knew about when she was pregnant with Liam - she took prenatal classes at her local hospital, which a lot of childbirth educators warn against because they don’t always inform you of all the options - like doulas, home birthing and other alternative methods like hypnosis and water birthing, where the mother is submerged in a pool of warm water from the chest down during the labour and delivery.
“There is such a pressure on moms because a lot of people judge a mother on whether or not she had a natural birth, whether or not she breastfeeds, whether or not she goes back to work. I don’t judge.” She likens birthing and parenting issues to abortion issues: “Everyone needs to relax and do what’s right for them and their families. Women should support each other.”
Like Sheen-Kernohan, Sheri Menelli is also trying to create a network of supportive women and positive birth stories. “It’s important to seek out the most positive birth stories you can. It’s like, if you want to become a millionaire, do you ask someone who’s already done it or do you ask someone who is living in poverty?”
Menelli has compiled what she considers the most positive birthing stories in her book Journey into Motherhood: Inspirational Stories of Natural Birth to try to educate women in a positive way to be responsible for their own births, rather than terrorizing them about what birth is like through reality television and reports of celebrity C-sections. The most important thing she advocates for women, however, is finding a primary health care provider who will allow them to be responsible for their birth experiences long before they ever become pregnant.
That’s exactly what Rosanne Alyea feels she has accomplished. The 33-year-old first-time mom is 30 weeks pregnant and has every aspect of her birth plan mapped out. She and her husband, Grant, have decided to go with a midwife instead of an obstetrician because they wanted to learn as much as possible about all of the tests and procedures without being pressured into choosing one or the other. “They will tell you as much as they know regarding any questions you may have, but they never push you one way or the other. An example would be getting prenatal screening done for possible defects or conditions the fetus may have: they will tell you what they know about it, but want you to make your own choice. Conventional OBs would typically steer you to do such things as though they were a necessary part of the pregnancy.”
Alyea opted out of genetic screening because the test involved a one in two hundred chance of miscarriage, and decided only to get the “necessary” ultrasounds done at 12 and 18 weeks pregnant so she would know how many babies she was having, to make sure her baby’s anatomy was developing correctly and to foresee any possible defects that could affect the labour.
Grant is a chiropractor, “so there is already resistance between his beliefs and those of the hospital and conventional medicine. When it comes to having a baby, it's no exception.” They both have very strong views about avoiding the use of medical intervention in delivery but as she gets closer to the big day she’s realizing that it may not be possible. She hopes that the comfort and expertise of her midwife and the relaxation techniques she has prepared -“I am a big believer that music and smell can psychologically elicit certain feelings of calm and peace if they are associated with positive memories” - will be enough to help her overcome the pain of a natural childbirth, but says she is not naïve enough to believe that she can do it when she has no idea what her experience will be like. “It's so hard to predict what you can tolerate.”
Until the birth, she plans on continuing to seek the positive birth stories of other women, like those of Sheri Menelli and Kirsty Sheen-Kernohan. She hopes her dream of a natural birth will come true not only for her and her baby, but also because she has developed an important relationship with her midwife and wants her as involved as possible in the birth, both medically and emotionally.