THE RETURN
aight so i havent written in forever and i know that.well actually i did write yesterday. but my fucking comp!!! i went to press update and the page wouldnt go thru. it said this page cannot be displayed and erased the whole damn thing!!! grrrrr. i was so angry. lol but ne ways..onto other things.
so xmas wasnt bad after all. i always think bad and it always turns out good. thats good i guess lol. went to uncles on xmas eve and sang karoke wit g-ma!! haha...exciting stuff right there. then we came home n i just stayed up and chilled wit dad n bro, talked about old times..back in the day kinda stuff.so that was cool. then i stayed up all night makin dad a memory book thing. he cried. aw. so yea for xmas...i got my CELL!!!woooooooooo!!! im so excited bout that.and sum cds and shit like that. lol. i didnt see baby..that was sad. but i did a lil whiles after.
well after xmas like days after xmas lol. i saw baby :) he liked all his uga stuff i got him. and he got me the most sweetest prettiest thing ever in the whole entire wide world. a pretty silver necklace w like a diamond star and the softest teddy bear!!!!awww it was sooooo sweet. :) so yea that was good.
new years was horrible. stayed at home. babys parents said they didnt want him driving ne where. n so yea i stayed home. :( sad. i wish i coulda spent it wit baby. they say u know that who and how u spend your new year wit is who and how ur gonna spend the whole year wit. i seriously PRAY TO GOD that thats not tru. :(. if so...AHHHHH! but i guess it was kinda good in a way. cuz me n baby talked on the phone foreverrrrr. he explained everything to me. we had a "serious" talk. cuz he wanted to. sounded good to me. he said i meant the world to him. awwww so sweet i know. :) kaybay also came over that night. wasnt so fun for her tho i dont think.im sry baba.forgive me?
welp...besides that not much has been goin on. still dont have a job. still need one. dads gettin really pissed at me bout that. he said till i get a job..if i do shit round the house for him 3 times a week then he will make sure i always have a full tank of gas in my car..fair i guess??? idk.
i get to go to school monday!! wooo hooray!! NOT. god i hate school. i dont wanna go. :( but yea i have 4 classes. had to to be considered a full time student to stay on health insurance or sum shizzy. im not quite sure. but yea. math, astronomy.french and sum study skills class---that was the only thing that was left and i needed 12 credit hrs..lol so there u go. ha.
earlier in the week..i was hurtin realllll bad. i slept wrong or sumthin n my neck was goin crazy. but its all better now :) good thing. and then my stomach was hurtin. found that out y real quick lol. if u know what i mean ;). damn thing keeps comin earlier n earlier.ahhhhh!! ----also earlier in the week...everything was sooooo perfect wit me n baby. and now well its not messed up. but today i got angry cuz he didnt call me back. and idk i think differently now. :(
like i know that calling back isnt that big of a deal. n it might be a really small thing. but the small things mean a lot to me. i mean seriously. and goin back to me not thinking he cares or trys...thats there too now. i mean all he would have to do is tell me how he cares or trys. cuz he says "of course i care...and i try" but i ask him how n he freezes up and says idk. hes like i cant tell u i can only show u. but theres 2 ways to say "i care" thats to show and to tell. but idk like he wants me to talk to him bout stuff..but then when i do. he clams up.doesnt answer ne thing. i mean i know he cares bout me n loves me. its just to me he doesnt show that real well. ahhh i hate when i feel this way.
:( :( :( SADDNESSSSSSSSSSSSSS. *tear tear tear*
well he talked to his parents tonight about seeing me. and they said no. sumthin about i live too far away...umm which i really dont. 30 mins at most. i dont think thats far. i drive to his damn house all the time. so y should that matter. its not like he goes ne where. i go all the time. so i dont quite understand that. and then.... they said sumthin bout that he sees me too much. and that they dont want him to get tired of me or sum shit.hmmm yea that makes a lot of sense too right. seein as how i see him like once a week. yea woahhhhh thats WAY too much..damn i mean i dont think i can handle that. ???? :/ god what r they thinking..i mean seriously. geeze! thats the whole damn problem is i NEVER get to see him. we NEVER get to see each other. and thats what i get upset about. godddddddd. i mean i swear. it was all so good. and now its justttttt
BLAH
idk. :( i mean its not that bad lol. but just different. hopefully i will be able to see him tomm so we can talk all this out. cuz i think he does better when he can talk to me in person stead of on phone.
well i guess thats bout it. i found out how to post pics in here.... i think?? lol. so i will try that. n u can see ME! lol :) woo i know so exciting. these r the hewest ones. sooo ummmm enjoy?
<33333
so xmas wasnt bad after all. i always think bad and it always turns out good. thats good i guess lol. went to uncles on xmas eve and sang karoke wit g-ma!! haha...exciting stuff right there. then we came home n i just stayed up and chilled wit dad n bro, talked about old times..back in the day kinda stuff.so that was cool. then i stayed up all night makin dad a memory book thing. he cried. aw. so yea for xmas...i got my CELL!!!woooooooooo!!! im so excited bout that.and sum cds and shit like that. lol. i didnt see baby..that was sad. but i did a lil whiles after.
well after xmas like days after xmas lol. i saw baby :) he liked all his uga stuff i got him. and he got me the most sweetest prettiest thing ever in the whole entire wide world. a pretty silver necklace w like a diamond star and the softest teddy bear!!!!awww it was sooooo sweet. :) so yea that was good.
new years was horrible. stayed at home. babys parents said they didnt want him driving ne where. n so yea i stayed home. :( sad. i wish i coulda spent it wit baby. they say u know that who and how u spend your new year wit is who and how ur gonna spend the whole year wit. i seriously PRAY TO GOD that thats not tru. :(. if so...AHHHHH! but i guess it was kinda good in a way. cuz me n baby talked on the phone foreverrrrr. he explained everything to me. we had a "serious" talk. cuz he wanted to. sounded good to me. he said i meant the world to him. awwww so sweet i know. :) kaybay also came over that night. wasnt so fun for her tho i dont think.im sry baba.forgive me?
welp...besides that not much has been goin on. still dont have a job. still need one. dads gettin really pissed at me bout that. he said till i get a job..if i do shit round the house for him 3 times a week then he will make sure i always have a full tank of gas in my car..fair i guess??? idk.
i get to go to school monday!! wooo hooray!! NOT. god i hate school. i dont wanna go. :( but yea i have 4 classes. had to to be considered a full time student to stay on health insurance or sum shizzy. im not quite sure. but yea. math, astronomy.french and sum study skills class---that was the only thing that was left and i needed 12 credit hrs..lol so there u go. ha.
earlier in the week..i was hurtin realllll bad. i slept wrong or sumthin n my neck was goin crazy. but its all better now :) good thing. and then my stomach was hurtin. found that out y real quick lol. if u know what i mean ;). damn thing keeps comin earlier n earlier.ahhhhh!! ----also earlier in the week...everything was sooooo perfect wit me n baby. and now well its not messed up. but today i got angry cuz he didnt call me back. and idk i think differently now. :(
like i know that calling back isnt that big of a deal. n it might be a really small thing. but the small things mean a lot to me. i mean seriously. and goin back to me not thinking he cares or trys...thats there too now. i mean all he would have to do is tell me how he cares or trys. cuz he says "of course i care...and i try" but i ask him how n he freezes up and says idk. hes like i cant tell u i can only show u. but theres 2 ways to say "i care" thats to show and to tell. but idk like he wants me to talk to him bout stuff..but then when i do. he clams up.doesnt answer ne thing. i mean i know he cares bout me n loves me. its just to me he doesnt show that real well. ahhh i hate when i feel this way.
:( :( :( SADDNESSSSSSSSSSSSSS. *tear tear tear*
well he talked to his parents tonight about seeing me. and they said no. sumthin about i live too far away...umm which i really dont. 30 mins at most. i dont think thats far. i drive to his damn house all the time. so y should that matter. its not like he goes ne where. i go all the time. so i dont quite understand that. and then.... they said sumthin bout that he sees me too much. and that they dont want him to get tired of me or sum shit.hmmm yea that makes a lot of sense too right. seein as how i see him like once a week. yea woahhhhh thats WAY too much..damn i mean i dont think i can handle that. ???? :/ god what r they thinking..i mean seriously. geeze! thats the whole damn problem is i NEVER get to see him. we NEVER get to see each other. and thats what i get upset about. godddddddd. i mean i swear. it was all so good. and now its justttttt
BLAH
idk. :( i mean its not that bad lol. but just different. hopefully i will be able to see him tomm so we can talk all this out. cuz i think he does better when he can talk to me in person stead of on phone.
well i guess thats bout it. i found out how to post pics in here.... i think?? lol. so i will try that. n u can see ME! lol :) woo i know so exciting. these r the hewest ones. sooo ummmm enjoy?
<33333