I would drink a GALLON of scalding hot grease, just to see one of your smiles GRANDMA!!!
This is the best thing ever (for this week): www.somethingawful.com/rchs
And, no, it's not another one of those scary links like tub girl (ew) or goatscex (ugh) this one is acutally fun! So go ahead and click on it, i mean after all i wouldnt use the internet to hurt any of you, would i? (i mean, beyond what ive already done....).
A few entries ago i mentioned doing a top 20 list of albumns i really liked, but after playing River City Hackey Sack and seeing the new PS3, i decided to devote a list to another subject near and dear to my heart. Video games. If television was my mother growing up (thanks for the eye cancer MOM!!) than videogames were my father. Teaching me valuable lessons like "It's dangerous to go alone, take this." and "A winner is you!". Yes videogames told me that unlike what those LIBERALS would have you believe, violence DOES solve all our problems! And everyone grows up to be the hero, or gets cut down in the hero's swath of destruction to rescue someone. How do you measure the value of life? Easy. One Princess/Girlfriend/Queen/Whatev = Billions of cronies, thugs, goons, and ne'er do wells. And the path to success lies in working like a dog for hours on end and sacrificing valuable "outdoor time" just to get to that next level or see that crappy still shot of Billy and Jimmy with Maria.
So how did i measure these? Well they were based on enjoyment from first playing the game, technical achievement, replayability, story, emotion they evoke, but most importantly the ability for me to pick the game up at any point and time and start to play. Some games i just cant do that with. Final Fantasy 7 was good, but if its nice and warm and sunny out, i cant be bothered to sit in that dark, weird looking world and try to save some people i really dont care about! So without further Apu:
20.) Final Fantasy 9 (PS)- Seems like the last great Final Fantasy game was also the last good one we'd see on the playstation for a while (im hoping against hope for 12). A beautiful medievil world, awesome soundtrack and the most loveable characters this series has produced make this a game i loved playing through. The reason it isnt higher is because, well its a Final Fantasy game. There's not too much replayability, once youve gone through it, you've gone through it. The lack of sidequests didnt help either, i mean what they had was good, but it could have been better.
19.) Super Metroid (SNES)- I remember in seventh grade being so upset when my first quarter reportcard came out because i had gotten a C in something. I wasnt upset because of the low mark, aw hell no. I was upset because that meant my parents weren't gonna buy me super metroid. Well those suckers gave in once i got to Toys rus and started bawling like a little baby. Hey, it's their fault for taking me there just to taunt me with something they had no plans on buying me. This game was mad fun and had lots of replayability value, and a fun story. The reason it's so low is because there is never any depth to a metroid story. "You're some girl in crazy armor, you're on a planet with a bunch of scary parasites! And it sounds like someone fell asleep on a church organ everywhere you go!" Metroid always creates this depressing atmosphere in it's games where everything sucks but is also bright neon pink or purple. It creates a real, sick to your stomach feeling, like you dont wanna play Metroid after getting off the Tilt-O-Twirl.
18.) Street Fighter Anniversary Collection (PS2)- This game is awesome for nostalgia and also packs a really great fighting game (SF3), along with the super-cool-when-you-were-eleven Street Fighter, The Animated Movie. All for 20 bucks! Street Fighter Three is one of the richest most complex-in-it's-simplicity fighting games around, but what hurts it is lack of enjoyable characters, ridiculous difficulty curve and boring, non sensical stories and endings. There's no reason to beat the game other than to say you did it, but as a two player game this one is awesome!
17.) Donkey Kong Country (SNES)- What a cool frigging game this was. This, i believe, was the game that finally shifted the console wars back to Nintendo and knocked Sega so far back that they never managed to recover. The music is fun, the controls are fun, the story is fun, and you can play it over and over trying to get to 101% complete. It just kind of gets boring in some places and it can be way too difficult, but a lot of good memories of my childhood are associated with this game, so i had to put it on the list.
16.)Mega Man 2 (NES)- Mega Man hasn't always sucked! And the Anniversary Collection for the PS2 reminded me of that. This game was freaking amazing, so much fun and the first nintendo game i really REALLY got into. Me and Brandon Angel stayed up all night trying to beat it, switching off with each life and shouting words of encouragement toach other until his parents came in and demanded we go to bed. So Brando turned the TV off, but left the nintendo on! Ahh, this was the first time i ever saw that tricked used and i thought it was the cleverest thing ever! So the next day we woke up and got right back to work, and around five in the afternoon we finally beat doctor wiley's evil robot/cyborg/grasshopper thing and got to see a really strange ending where megaman looks off into the distance all wistfully then the next screen is just his helmet on a hill. The next day in school some kid on the bus told us that's because Mega Man self destructed and i almost cried myself to sleep that night!
15.) Justice Schools (Sega Dreamcast)- A really fun true 3d fighter from Capcom that not too many people remember. The cast of characters was one of the best a fighting game had ever seen each one adequetly balanced and entertaining to play. This was one of the first "tag team" fighters too, so you were pulling off all kinds of crazy double team combos. The music was great, the backgrounds were great and all the mini games and other time killers were mad fun. If they had made this on the PS2 it would have been perfect and i wouldnt have had to use that ridiculous dreamcast controller....
14.) Mario 64 (Nintendo 64)- I think we all remember the first time we saw/played this amazing offering from the N64. A true three dimensional world you could just wander around in and explore. Fun and challenging this game isnt higher because once you find those 120 stars, thats IT. Nothing more, no point of continuing. Lame. Was it just me or after the first time you played that, you thought you could see around walls?
13.) Legend Of Zelda- A Link To The Past (SNES)- Yeah i know people might be mad that this game and not the original is the only one on this list, but lets face it. The game was longer, had better graphics, better music, more items, more to do, more to explore and just plain more fun than the original LOZ. Just a great great game that you could pick up and play again right after you beat it.
12.) Castle Vania 2- Simon's Quest (NES)- CastleVania 2 just plain rocked. It took the fun platforming aspects of the first game and added a strong roleplaying element. Great enemies to fight, especially the fun intense boss battles. The music was just awesome considering the primitive tools they had at their disposal when composing it. If this game wasnt so gosh darn difficult for a ten year old it might have been ranked higher. Oh, what a terrible night to have a curse!
11.) Rock and Roll Racing (SNES)- I will always ALWAYS be up for a game of Rock and Roll Racing. This game was a little known racer for the SNES that used a killer soundtrack (paranoid!) and insane weapons, jumps and the most car modification seen up to that point to leave a lasting impression on me. This is also one of the few games of ANY genre that can boast that it's single player game is just as much fun as it's multiplayer experience. The one problem facing this game is the fact that the characters were ridiculously unbalanced, so any fool with, say, Olaf and the Getaway Car,could destroy a hard working player using a racer just a little less impressive.
10.) Silent Hill 2 (PS2)- Just plain scary. Im not a big fan of the "survival horror" genre, but the fact that this game scares you with the THREAT of something lurking out there, rather than a zombie dog jumping through a window, is impressive as all hell. The creepy freudian backdrop and enemies add to this. The sound is just amazing and i cannot stress enough how great it is to play a game that frightens you with ideas rather than just buckets of gore and scary looking monsters (though there are some of those too). This game genuinely terrified me while i was living in Matunuck to the point where i wouldn't play it unless someone was at the house, in the room with me! (Just ask Preston!)
9.) CastleVania: Symphony Of The Night (PS)- Anyone who has played this knows just how amazing it is. I don't even need to get into it. In fact, i wont!
8.) Ico (PS2)- I haven't even finished this game and it's already one of my favorites ever. The story of a young boy with a pair of horns who is left for dead in a massive labrynthian castle, Ico then stumbles upon a young girl who may or may not be a ghost and the key to getting out of there. The graphics are ridiculous, the sound is especially effective, and just the ways the characters move and interact is impressive. The player developes a bond with Ico and Yorda without any assistance from lengthy cut scenes explaining their "tortured back grounds" or any crap like that. Just by the way they move, their voices, their dependence on one another and the lengths they go to help each other you grow SO ATTACHED to these characters you cant explain it. You dont want Ico to succeed because he's a victim or a bad ass, you want him to succeed because you believe he deserves it! This game is amazing and it's a crime that this sold as poorly as it did, if you cant get your hands on an old copy, please for the love of God go out and buy Wanda and The Colossus, coming out later this year. It's made by the same people and looks even better than Ico did. Plus, Giant Robots!
7.Final Fantasy 6 (SNES, PS)- Story, story, story. Characters, characters, characters. The graphics were great for it's time, and the music is beautiful. But the driving force that makes this game so good is your desire to help the characters and your ability to look up to/hate/pity/enjoy/laugh at/empathise with them. The world is huge and there are so many side quests (GOOD side quests, unlike spider man 2's "GET THAT JEW A REUBEN!" bull puck) to keep you occupied you'll put in over 60 hours to find everything. This isnt a game i can pick up and play at any time but the quality of the characters and the story is so intense that its one of my all time favorites.
6.)Super Smash Brothers Melee (GameCube)- This game is just fun. There's lots to do and discover in here, lots of secret characters and stages to unlock and trophies to collect, so it lends itself pretty well to the replay factor. The most important part of this game though, is multiplayer. This game is just ridiculous with a group of people who can all play. So much fun. The one problem is, people CAN "break" this game by being really good with certain characters, and to that end, some characters are simply far worse than others. But with a group of friends theres almost no finer game than this.
5.) Tetris Attack! (SNES)- I had a lot of trouble deciding which was better this or smash brothers. In the end though, the fact that this game is far harder to break, and twice as addictive won out. Anyone can pick this game up and master it in five minutes. Which means with a group of people who have never played before this game can be loads of fun. I swear when you go to bed you'll see those little blocks dancing around. Plus this game featured one of the greatest characters ever! Drunk Uncle Cat Fish!
4.) Final Fantasy Tactics (PS)- This game is so addictive and so enjoyable. Probably literally hundreds of hours can be spent leveling characters up to make that ultimate unit. Another thing that makes this game so damn fun is the difficulty, it's not cheap or unfair, the computer is just really smart. The story wonderful and deep but short, and thats why i couldnt rank this game higher.
3.) Metal Gear Solid 3 (PS2)- Amazing, incredible, blah blah blah. I wrote all this before and i ain't writing it again!
2.) Street Fighter Alpha 3 (PS)- Beautiful deep game with tons of replayability. The fighting system itself may not be as perfect or balanced as in Street Fighter 3-Third Strike. But the massive ammounts of characters, stages, music more than make up for it. Plus the world tour mode is exceptional. For my money there's no better fighting game either 2d or 3d.
1.) River City Ransom (NES)- Hail to the king,baby. If i had just one system with one game i could play over and over again for the rest of my life, it would hands down without a doubt have to be this one. The two player experience is so complete and amazing, plus all the RPG elements add hours of customization and fun. When it comes right down to it a video game isnt supposed to be about the story or graphics or anything like that it's main focus is on fun. There is no game that delivers a fun experience over and over again like River City Ransom.
Well hope you enjoyed, i know it's a lot to read so thank you, fellow nerds, for bearing with me. If you have any comments or opinions of your own id love to hear them!
Excelsior True Believer!
And, no, it's not another one of those scary links like tub girl (ew) or goatscex (ugh) this one is acutally fun! So go ahead and click on it, i mean after all i wouldnt use the internet to hurt any of you, would i? (i mean, beyond what ive already done....).
A few entries ago i mentioned doing a top 20 list of albumns i really liked, but after playing River City Hackey Sack and seeing the new PS3, i decided to devote a list to another subject near and dear to my heart. Video games. If television was my mother growing up (thanks for the eye cancer MOM!!) than videogames were my father. Teaching me valuable lessons like "It's dangerous to go alone, take this." and "A winner is you!". Yes videogames told me that unlike what those LIBERALS would have you believe, violence DOES solve all our problems! And everyone grows up to be the hero, or gets cut down in the hero's swath of destruction to rescue someone. How do you measure the value of life? Easy. One Princess/Girlfriend/Queen/Whatev = Billions of cronies, thugs, goons, and ne'er do wells. And the path to success lies in working like a dog for hours on end and sacrificing valuable "outdoor time" just to get to that next level or see that crappy still shot of Billy and Jimmy with Maria.
So how did i measure these? Well they were based on enjoyment from first playing the game, technical achievement, replayability, story, emotion they evoke, but most importantly the ability for me to pick the game up at any point and time and start to play. Some games i just cant do that with. Final Fantasy 7 was good, but if its nice and warm and sunny out, i cant be bothered to sit in that dark, weird looking world and try to save some people i really dont care about! So without further Apu:
20.) Final Fantasy 9 (PS)- Seems like the last great Final Fantasy game was also the last good one we'd see on the playstation for a while (im hoping against hope for 12). A beautiful medievil world, awesome soundtrack and the most loveable characters this series has produced make this a game i loved playing through. The reason it isnt higher is because, well its a Final Fantasy game. There's not too much replayability, once youve gone through it, you've gone through it. The lack of sidequests didnt help either, i mean what they had was good, but it could have been better.
19.) Super Metroid (SNES)- I remember in seventh grade being so upset when my first quarter reportcard came out because i had gotten a C in something. I wasnt upset because of the low mark, aw hell no. I was upset because that meant my parents weren't gonna buy me super metroid. Well those suckers gave in once i got to Toys rus and started bawling like a little baby. Hey, it's their fault for taking me there just to taunt me with something they had no plans on buying me. This game was mad fun and had lots of replayability value, and a fun story. The reason it's so low is because there is never any depth to a metroid story. "You're some girl in crazy armor, you're on a planet with a bunch of scary parasites! And it sounds like someone fell asleep on a church organ everywhere you go!" Metroid always creates this depressing atmosphere in it's games where everything sucks but is also bright neon pink or purple. It creates a real, sick to your stomach feeling, like you dont wanna play Metroid after getting off the Tilt-O-Twirl.
18.) Street Fighter Anniversary Collection (PS2)- This game is awesome for nostalgia and also packs a really great fighting game (SF3), along with the super-cool-when-you-were-eleven Street Fighter, The Animated Movie. All for 20 bucks! Street Fighter Three is one of the richest most complex-in-it's-simplicity fighting games around, but what hurts it is lack of enjoyable characters, ridiculous difficulty curve and boring, non sensical stories and endings. There's no reason to beat the game other than to say you did it, but as a two player game this one is awesome!
17.) Donkey Kong Country (SNES)- What a cool frigging game this was. This, i believe, was the game that finally shifted the console wars back to Nintendo and knocked Sega so far back that they never managed to recover. The music is fun, the controls are fun, the story is fun, and you can play it over and over trying to get to 101% complete. It just kind of gets boring in some places and it can be way too difficult, but a lot of good memories of my childhood are associated with this game, so i had to put it on the list.
16.)Mega Man 2 (NES)- Mega Man hasn't always sucked! And the Anniversary Collection for the PS2 reminded me of that. This game was freaking amazing, so much fun and the first nintendo game i really REALLY got into. Me and Brandon Angel stayed up all night trying to beat it, switching off with each life and shouting words of encouragement toach other until his parents came in and demanded we go to bed. So Brando turned the TV off, but left the nintendo on! Ahh, this was the first time i ever saw that tricked used and i thought it was the cleverest thing ever! So the next day we woke up and got right back to work, and around five in the afternoon we finally beat doctor wiley's evil robot/cyborg/grasshopper thing and got to see a really strange ending where megaman looks off into the distance all wistfully then the next screen is just his helmet on a hill. The next day in school some kid on the bus told us that's because Mega Man self destructed and i almost cried myself to sleep that night!
15.) Justice Schools (Sega Dreamcast)- A really fun true 3d fighter from Capcom that not too many people remember. The cast of characters was one of the best a fighting game had ever seen each one adequetly balanced and entertaining to play. This was one of the first "tag team" fighters too, so you were pulling off all kinds of crazy double team combos. The music was great, the backgrounds were great and all the mini games and other time killers were mad fun. If they had made this on the PS2 it would have been perfect and i wouldnt have had to use that ridiculous dreamcast controller....
14.) Mario 64 (Nintendo 64)- I think we all remember the first time we saw/played this amazing offering from the N64. A true three dimensional world you could just wander around in and explore. Fun and challenging this game isnt higher because once you find those 120 stars, thats IT. Nothing more, no point of continuing. Lame. Was it just me or after the first time you played that, you thought you could see around walls?
13.) Legend Of Zelda- A Link To The Past (SNES)- Yeah i know people might be mad that this game and not the original is the only one on this list, but lets face it. The game was longer, had better graphics, better music, more items, more to do, more to explore and just plain more fun than the original LOZ. Just a great great game that you could pick up and play again right after you beat it.
12.) Castle Vania 2- Simon's Quest (NES)- CastleVania 2 just plain rocked. It took the fun platforming aspects of the first game and added a strong roleplaying element. Great enemies to fight, especially the fun intense boss battles. The music was just awesome considering the primitive tools they had at their disposal when composing it. If this game wasnt so gosh darn difficult for a ten year old it might have been ranked higher. Oh, what a terrible night to have a curse!
11.) Rock and Roll Racing (SNES)- I will always ALWAYS be up for a game of Rock and Roll Racing. This game was a little known racer for the SNES that used a killer soundtrack (paranoid!) and insane weapons, jumps and the most car modification seen up to that point to leave a lasting impression on me. This is also one of the few games of ANY genre that can boast that it's single player game is just as much fun as it's multiplayer experience. The one problem facing this game is the fact that the characters were ridiculously unbalanced, so any fool with, say, Olaf and the Getaway Car,could destroy a hard working player using a racer just a little less impressive.
10.) Silent Hill 2 (PS2)- Just plain scary. Im not a big fan of the "survival horror" genre, but the fact that this game scares you with the THREAT of something lurking out there, rather than a zombie dog jumping through a window, is impressive as all hell. The creepy freudian backdrop and enemies add to this. The sound is just amazing and i cannot stress enough how great it is to play a game that frightens you with ideas rather than just buckets of gore and scary looking monsters (though there are some of those too). This game genuinely terrified me while i was living in Matunuck to the point where i wouldn't play it unless someone was at the house, in the room with me! (Just ask Preston!)
9.) CastleVania: Symphony Of The Night (PS)- Anyone who has played this knows just how amazing it is. I don't even need to get into it. In fact, i wont!
8.) Ico (PS2)- I haven't even finished this game and it's already one of my favorites ever. The story of a young boy with a pair of horns who is left for dead in a massive labrynthian castle, Ico then stumbles upon a young girl who may or may not be a ghost and the key to getting out of there. The graphics are ridiculous, the sound is especially effective, and just the ways the characters move and interact is impressive. The player developes a bond with Ico and Yorda without any assistance from lengthy cut scenes explaining their "tortured back grounds" or any crap like that. Just by the way they move, their voices, their dependence on one another and the lengths they go to help each other you grow SO ATTACHED to these characters you cant explain it. You dont want Ico to succeed because he's a victim or a bad ass, you want him to succeed because you believe he deserves it! This game is amazing and it's a crime that this sold as poorly as it did, if you cant get your hands on an old copy, please for the love of God go out and buy Wanda and The Colossus, coming out later this year. It's made by the same people and looks even better than Ico did. Plus, Giant Robots!
7.Final Fantasy 6 (SNES, PS)- Story, story, story. Characters, characters, characters. The graphics were great for it's time, and the music is beautiful. But the driving force that makes this game so good is your desire to help the characters and your ability to look up to/hate/pity/enjoy/laugh at/empathise with them. The world is huge and there are so many side quests (GOOD side quests, unlike spider man 2's "GET THAT JEW A REUBEN!" bull puck) to keep you occupied you'll put in over 60 hours to find everything. This isnt a game i can pick up and play at any time but the quality of the characters and the story is so intense that its one of my all time favorites.
6.)Super Smash Brothers Melee (GameCube)- This game is just fun. There's lots to do and discover in here, lots of secret characters and stages to unlock and trophies to collect, so it lends itself pretty well to the replay factor. The most important part of this game though, is multiplayer. This game is just ridiculous with a group of people who can all play. So much fun. The one problem is, people CAN "break" this game by being really good with certain characters, and to that end, some characters are simply far worse than others. But with a group of friends theres almost no finer game than this.
5.) Tetris Attack! (SNES)- I had a lot of trouble deciding which was better this or smash brothers. In the end though, the fact that this game is far harder to break, and twice as addictive won out. Anyone can pick this game up and master it in five minutes. Which means with a group of people who have never played before this game can be loads of fun. I swear when you go to bed you'll see those little blocks dancing around. Plus this game featured one of the greatest characters ever! Drunk Uncle Cat Fish!
4.) Final Fantasy Tactics (PS)- This game is so addictive and so enjoyable. Probably literally hundreds of hours can be spent leveling characters up to make that ultimate unit. Another thing that makes this game so damn fun is the difficulty, it's not cheap or unfair, the computer is just really smart. The story wonderful and deep but short, and thats why i couldnt rank this game higher.
3.) Metal Gear Solid 3 (PS2)- Amazing, incredible, blah blah blah. I wrote all this before and i ain't writing it again!
2.) Street Fighter Alpha 3 (PS)- Beautiful deep game with tons of replayability. The fighting system itself may not be as perfect or balanced as in Street Fighter 3-Third Strike. But the massive ammounts of characters, stages, music more than make up for it. Plus the world tour mode is exceptional. For my money there's no better fighting game either 2d or 3d.
1.) River City Ransom (NES)- Hail to the king,baby. If i had just one system with one game i could play over and over again for the rest of my life, it would hands down without a doubt have to be this one. The two player experience is so complete and amazing, plus all the RPG elements add hours of customization and fun. When it comes right down to it a video game isnt supposed to be about the story or graphics or anything like that it's main focus is on fun. There is no game that delivers a fun experience over and over again like River City Ransom.
Well hope you enjoyed, i know it's a lot to read so thank you, fellow nerds, for bearing with me. If you have any comments or opinions of your own id love to hear them!
Excelsior True Believer!