Shiny and new.
I deleted my old journal. Actually, I was deleting entry-by-entry, but then I realized hardly any of it matters. I think the journal went back to 2005-ish? After about an hour of deleting, I realized I didn't want to keep hardly any of the entries. I looked at the "tags" on the left hand side. The tags that are large are the ones you used a lot-- and none of them matter to me anymore. I will take the lessons I learned and the good memories, but that is all I need. I enjoy keeping a journal to vent sometimes, but lately I have just been writing and then immediately deleting. I still feels good to just get it down, I won't quit that, but to keep it to reflect on was just rehashing the negative feelings.
Something changed this summer. Being single for several months was super healthy for me. I think about the timing of everything that has happened since I have moved back here, it's all pretty perfect. Yes, I have bad days, but things in general are pretty spectacular. I am able to start envisioning my long-term future, the things I want out of life, what things are really truly important to me.
I'm just happy. It's a different happy from what I am used to. I don't know how to explain it entirely.
Something changed this summer. Being single for several months was super healthy for me. I think about the timing of everything that has happened since I have moved back here, it's all pretty perfect. Yes, I have bad days, but things in general are pretty spectacular. I am able to start envisioning my long-term future, the things I want out of life, what things are really truly important to me.
I'm just happy. It's a different happy from what I am used to. I don't know how to explain it entirely.