did you lose yourself somewhere out there? did you get to be a star?

[thepennylane]

i love how little, almost invisible things mix themselves together to form an amazing moment or experience. this weekend, i realized how much good i have in my life and how i don't even deserve it. i'm beginning to realize that my happiness doesn't depend on other people anymore, but simply on me. for so long, i've looked to others to fill the spaces in me that feel empty when i'm alone. now, i see those spaces aren't really spaces at all; i've always been complete despite the broken relationships and fleeting friendships. now, two years after graduating, i've managed to weed out all of the false and meaningless friendships and am left with a small and perfect group of beautiful people. it is incredibly comforting to be able to count my best friends on only two hands. friendship is truly an amazing series of up-and-down emotions. i love how, in spite of arguments and trust issues, i will always have someone's shoulder for my tears to fall on. i love how life isn't about the big events that occur, but about sharing dessert with one spoon and perfect hugs and star-gazing. i love that, even though i often lose sight of the good in my life, i feel there will always be moments where all the things i am blessed with are realized.. moments like this morning during a typical, meaningful, one-sided conversation with lucy that resulted in warm tears to sliding down my cheeks.

this weather is amazing. my friends and family are amazing. at this moment, life is amazing.