"and these crimes between them grow deeper.."
so. it occured to me that i only write in here when i'm depressed. and i haven't been depressed in almost two months. i'm due, i guess.
i can't take anymore from scott. he can't make up his mind. and i'm so depressed lately. i hate to admit that i'm only happy when we're together or when he isn't playing games. it was amazing this summer because he called all the time, even just to say hi. he wanted to see me all the time. we'd talk for four hours on the phone, then he'd IM me to say goodnight. but. he's ruining after trip i take. he makes me feel so worthless, and i've only known him for, what, four months? i wish i had the strength to call things off. to block him from my buddy list and ignore his calls. but, everytime i make up my mind to do these things, he does something to give me the idea that we'll go back to the way things were in the beginning of july. why do things have to change. i get my hopes up SO high, thinking "this time will be different." he will be different. but he turns out like every other guy. i wait up until 2am for his drunken phone call. he makes me feel like shit. and i cry a lot. misery loves company (or so they say), so all megan and i talk about is scott and andrew. and change. and loss. and sadness. these talks make things worse because nothing gets accomplished, and we just DROWN ourselves and each other in the depression we feel.
two months ago. i wish it was two months ago.
i can't take anymore from scott. he can't make up his mind. and i'm so depressed lately. i hate to admit that i'm only happy when we're together or when he isn't playing games. it was amazing this summer because he called all the time, even just to say hi. he wanted to see me all the time. we'd talk for four hours on the phone, then he'd IM me to say goodnight. but. he's ruining after trip i take. he makes me feel so worthless, and i've only known him for, what, four months? i wish i had the strength to call things off. to block him from my buddy list and ignore his calls. but, everytime i make up my mind to do these things, he does something to give me the idea that we'll go back to the way things were in the beginning of july. why do things have to change. i get my hopes up SO high, thinking "this time will be different." he will be different. but he turns out like every other guy. i wait up until 2am for his drunken phone call. he makes me feel like shit. and i cry a lot. misery loves company (or so they say), so all megan and i talk about is scott and andrew. and change. and loss. and sadness. these talks make things worse because nothing gets accomplished, and we just DROWN ourselves and each other in the depression we feel.
two months ago. i wish it was two months ago.