Jan 04, 2009 23:21
Despite the fact that I am pissed as hell that he had to break my heart for things to turn out this way, I do believe that God knows what He is doing. I needed this week/weekend. I needed to know that it is possible for me to make friends despite all the crap that i have been through. I don't have to be alone. I needed these past few days because I started to find myself again. I had fun with a bunch of people I hardly even knew before a few days ago. I did alot of things i wouldn't have normally done. I played games that I would've never played. But they forced me, and I'm glad i did. I learned how to ski! Who knew skiing was so hard! I faced my fears of going out on a snowmobile across a lake. Yes, I find that terrifying. But what i really discovered was that people aren't always what they seem. I made friends with some guys that i graduated with and knew nothing about. I thought that they wouldnt talk to me. No one talked to me in highschool so i just figured it'd be like that. But i was wrong. They were polite, kind, and they looked after me. I'm not crushing on these guys. Dont worry. I just feel like the world suddenly became less of a horrible place. I just feel like maybe it is possible to change for the good.
Also I needed this week to hear God speak to me. I havent heard him lately. Mainly because i havent stopped to listen. I need to listen more. I think we both needed it honestly. We needed to put God as the foundation of this relationship, and he hasn't been. He's been there but He's been distant. I am really looking foward to digging into a devotional every morning with him. I can not wait to see where God is leading us. Life is full of surprises. Good and Bad.