By the pricking of my thumb...
A few days ago I saw a live chicken walking on the road while comming back from my mother's church. Now if this were MD, I wouldnbt think twice about it, however this is north Jersey right outside of Manhattan. I was a little concerned. When I voiced my concerns to a few people I got the same answer. "Someone is practicing Voodoo" I wasnt quite
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when i was younger i had notions that usually led me to truth for reasons that i logically cant explain... such as you and your chicken and voodoo sewer... as if i get a feeling somehow and all of the steps between clue and truth are eliminated yet i know the sytematics of it all tho i cant ever explain the process... i never viewed this as a part of empathy but it does make sense...
i was also able to see further into the problems of my friends and help them find extremely fruitful resolutions and such i also felt that i was very able to tune into the emotions of others and i used to be very good at taking others pain away and making them feel better but it usually caused me to have many woes and concerns and to feel as they felt and to worry a great deal about them... i usually feel more stressed out and frustrated for everyone else in my life and everything else going on in the world...
people that i have helped often turn on me and dont seem to be able to look as far into me and my motivations as i am able to into thiers... this leads me to turn away from feeling these things and i dont have enough time and spirit to worry about everything that everyone else is feeling especially when they never give anything back to me even thier continued friendship... sometimes i feel used and drained...
people have told me that i am like a "drug" and people have used me as one...
someone also said to me that when i entered rooms the whole room would "change"... and that was before i let got of wherever i felt all of the energy comming from...
i once felt that i could effect the world by giving off somekind of energy that i can never explain and it seems like before i let it all evacutate my body in an absolutely pathetic bath of emotion during a time of extreme sadness... it seems like before i let all of that go things went well for people near me and people were much happier... simply because i poured something out of me that i cant eplain... its weird but i feel like now that i no longer have that "spirit" or "energy" or whaterever that was flowing from me freely because i have had to take measures to protect myself from users and because i let go of my "heart" that bad things keep happening to people that are close to me and somehow i feel responsible as if i should be "sustaining" them. in my case with my particular situatuation in life id have to give up many many things that i need to accomplish for myself in order to help people. i also think that there are people out there who would suck me dry if i let them and they have in the past... yet somehow i still responsible for their pains and i, feel like now i am bad luck...
its strange and i was just wondering if maybe you knew what i meant??
and could tell me something about what you meant...
ive always felt like i had something different about me untill a few years back during that damned sad time and i let my energy or heart or soul or whatever it was evaportate from my body...
i cant explain how much i miss the "feeling" or whatever youd call it that i used to feel from that energy or whatever...
since then i havent felt as able to effect my envirinment as strongly without the energy even tho remain as pleasant as possible and optimistic as mush as i can... i feel like i forgot how to feel the energy or that i let it all go and i am depleted...
ive also had a period of my life effected by a poltergiest or freaky ghost... im not sure those events or the difference between the definitions of those words means anything...
when i was a child i had never heard the word before but the name that i came up for what i had was "empathy" it just made sense to pick that word and ive held it in my head and not spoken it to anyone since...
i was just wondering how you would define "empathy" or what kinds of experiences you have had to lead to accept that you have this?
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