(no subject)
I need to cry right now. But I can't. I don't know what to do or say or think about any of this. Fuck optimism right now. Why did this have to happen this way? Why did tonight happen??? That was the last person I wanted to see. Let alone at that particular place. I wish I could cry. I'm hurt more than anyone will know for more than one reason and because of more than one person. I can't cry. My tears escape only through this mediocre portrait of my thoughts. Every word is painted in desolation. color doesnt exist, only lines and smears amid too many wrong interpretations. One thing could make me feel better, but I don't even have that to count on. I'm just going to sleep so I can pretend nothing ever happened and dream I'm somewhere else.