I've decided what I want for my birthday...

[thepaper]

With a little less than three days till my birthday, I've found what I want.

Aki Hoshino. (See also this and here) For those who enjoyed that, “You're welcome

Comments

[thepaper]

I think I know what you mean, maybe. Very attractive people can be kind of scary, or intimidating. I think a lot of people also suffer from a sort of feeling like, "Well, they'd never be interested in someone like me" because they are so appealing and the person interested generally feels some anxiety or the like.

I know someone with that kind of effect on me (used to have a crush on them for several years) and I think most people do ask themselves "what are the odds? Really" and then write off that person. But it could be that if one just went for it, it might turn out well. There's two things I see about such people, they're so attractive they either get asked out all the time (and the resulting attitude could vary, everything from annoyance, to boredom to playful indulgence, for a few examples). That or they are so intimidating to others no one bothers and might actually be willing to consider it, maybe even think you brave for asking.

I find all sorts of people attractive, being pansexual (or omnisexual, if preferring that term), means that the choices are greater, but I still have certain types I go for more often. The people I've been most serious about in the past were actually kind of girl next door sorts (the guys, now that's a different story). But I fell for them not solely on looks, but on their personalities and who I thought them to be (I was wrong in both cases, alas).

I could say much the same about the tastes of others I know, I don't generally go for the same types as they do. As for women, I know a lot who go for the Barbie doll types, Caucasian, blond (usually bleached blond), skinny and very busty. It's very rare for me to find such a person attractive. It's really about who the person is not just looks, but I'd be lying if I said looks didn't factor in at all.

I don't know about that, I tend to think people who go for older women are likelier to be more mature than their peers and are looking for something potentially more serious and long term as opposed to just "chasing tail" (ugh). Women wise, I usually try and stick to those close to my age, or a bit older. Though for the right one, I don't mind a bit younger, so long as they're ready to commit, should we be compatible and so on.

It would certainly be nice if she were, yes. ^_^ And I think it's more likely to find geeks of varying levels these days (women and men), because it's not quite the social pariah status it once was, so people are a bit more open about it and free to pursue such interests. Well, kind of in the same boat with my search. If they're only attractive, that's not enough, not for me. It really is about interior & exterior qualities being in harmony, at least for me, with similar interests/take on life would be a huge help. Hoping it's not doomed for an eternity though, for either of us. I think you'll have better luck than me though, surely. XD Finding someone compatible & interested in me, now that's tricky.

I figured I might as well go all out and say someone like Aki in a fanciful birthday wish. I don't know about the interior qualities, and though she is bustier than I tend to go for (not that I'm complaining, she's not ridiculously large), she does have qualities I like. She's not super young (or super young looking), something I don't fancy, she's attractive, plus Japanese. And the latter most, just a matter of taste really, to use fruit as an analogy "Sure I like peaches, apples, blackberries and raspberries and others they're tasty, but I'm partial to strawberries."

Being a bit of a geek myself, and being fond of not only (some of) the women of the country, but the people in general, the culture, history, language, cuisine, entertainment, etc.. Being from Japan would also mean that my tastes and interests would mostly be rather ordinary for someone from there, compared to dating someone from elsewhere.

Thanks. ^_^ I'd certainly be more than happy with that, methinks. But I'm not holding my breath. XD Just kind of putting the idea out into the ether and maybe someone spectacular will come along. It certainly beats the idea of being doomed for an eternity. XD

[conrad_delta]

Oh, I like your point regarding intimidation. I know of at least two of my college batchmates. A lot of guys liked him 'cause she's pretty (not to my eyes haha,) sexy (again, not to my eyes) and really friendly (oh, this I can agree with.) Although I don't know how many people actively pursued her, I would think that people will be intimidated by her because of this thing that I like to call the Voltes V phenomenon (she and her group of friends are so close together that other guys could not "reach" her because of intimidation.) The other girl, well, she's smart and also pretty, and I know of someone who verbally said that he was intimidated by this.

I never liked skinny + busty women. Those that I like usually relatively have some volume, black hair (well that's standard hair color of our population) I strongly believe that looks really are a factor, just not the true determinant. I've heard from someone that it's the exterior that make people come, and the interior that make people stay, and that makes a lot of sense.

Now that you mentioned that, I now see the link between a man's preference for older women and maturity (and his desire for a more serious and long-term relationship,) probably because of the perception of the link between age and maturity. I do want a serious relationship (not actively looking for one) but it's probably more of... me being bred with a conservative family. I honestly think that it would hurt me if I had a one-night-stand or something. I do admit to want to do it, but it has to be with someone special, someone that I'll probably spend the rest of my life with.

How could you say that I have better luck than you? I barely have any luck at all, at least with respect to common interests. Unless my interest is the woman, and the woman's interest is me, then fine, I am the luckiest person alive. Are you sure you'll have difficulty in finding someone compatible and interested in you? I know the online world is different that the real world, but you seem like a nice and fine woman.

I think it's your birthday already, so... happy birthday! Still no Aki, I suppose. -_-;

[thepaper]

I think it happens pretty often, the intimidation. And attractive people that have friends that are often close at hand makes the situation much more intimidating, I'd agree.

Same here. And really in the one (SW one) picture Aki looks so skinny as to be a bit of a shocker to me and less appealing. I'm having trouble of thinking someone as a good example of saying my general type (Aki is a fair bit bustier than most I gravitate toward, but she's not waaay too big like Fuko) Big fan of brunettes myself as well. I'd agree with the looks thing, the physical beauty fades (to varying degrees), but the internal (mind/personality/"soul"), timeless parts are what makes it work and last.

Yes indeed, and I will admit some younger people (women and men) can be quite mature, just as older ones can still be very immature. But I tend to think that older ones are more likely to have most of their wild days out of their system and are actually (hopefully) ready for something substantial than a one night stand or wanting a [boy/girl]friend just for the sake of having one. As to you and your upbringing, I had a fairly conservative upbringing myself, so I can understand.

And while I don't know that I would say it would hurt me if I had a once night stand or similar, I think it would be a very empty thing. It might be enjoyable at the moment, so sometimes it does sound nice, but it would not be truly fulfilling and leave you feeling more alone after, probably. So it's not something I'd want either. Of course, I'm also a hopeless romantic, so I'm obviously looking for more than that myself. So you're probably better off not having one of those (one night stands), when you find the right one for you, it'll be a far better thing, I'm sure.

I can say it very, very easily, unfortunately. I'm 99.9% sure you will have far better luck than me. Trust me on that one. XD

Being nice and fine (thank you), isn't always enough, I'm afraid. It seems like a lot of people are only interested in people who are anything but nice or fine. Even more difficult if you're looking to find someone who you could (potentially) have a serious, long term, romantic relationship with. I'm twenty six and I haven't found anyone yet, not anyone who reciprocated anyway and I was even compromising on things I was looking for.

Yep, it was indeed my birthday when you replied. So thanks. ^_^ No, unfortunately, no Aki. Maybe Santa will bring her? XD