My Funeral Musings
It's been a while since I've written a real post. Of course, no time is better than almost 4 in the morning.
I just got done watching the season 4 premiere of Six Feet Under. What a haunting and beautiful show. I've always wanted to watch it but I don't know why I never did. I thank Mike and also damn him for turning me onto this show or else I wouldn't be up so late every goddamn night watching every episode in marathon fashion.
The latest episode was just so heartbreaking. It's funny...for a show that's about death it took until the 30th episode to really get to me. I guess for all the shit that's been piled onto the characters, in a way it piles on you too until you just can't take it anymore. No, I didn't cry or anything but you know, it's the first episode that really tugged on the heart strings so to speak.
It's funny, I realized just now that every episode is like attending a funeral and I hate them. I've only been to three in my life, thank god, but I've also missed two that I should have gone to. The first, I was too young to realize what it was. The second, was my neighbors funeral and while I was a bit older...I still didn't realize what it was.
What should have been the third was my friend Brian who died while we were in the 11th grade. That was just denial on my part.
The fourth should have been my mom's cousin...which makes him kind of my uncle...that died of lung cancer a few years ago. Made the best goddamn soup and I've never enjoyed it since he died. Last time I saw him he could barely sit up in a chair and we never got to go the funeral cause our lives got in the way.
And the fifth was last summer when I attended my cousin's funeral. Didn't know him too well but he'd never let it seem that way. The guy gave me my first latte and I've been drinking coffee like that ever since. This funeral was the worst cause I was old enough to get that dying in bed at 45 (he had heart problems all his life) and leaving behind 7 children is just so fucked up. I did everything I could to stay together for that week. I even turned to a video camera and document the whole thing just to not cry. That didn't work out so well. Just a side note, to document a funeral and point a camera into a grieving widow's face and not feel anything is something only a soulless person could do.
But getting back to Six Feet Under. It's ironic cause I hate funerals and yet in the past week, in a way, I've sat through 30 of them. It's funny facing what you hate through something so beautiful.
It was good writing again. More to come, I'm sure.
I just got done watching the season 4 premiere of Six Feet Under. What a haunting and beautiful show. I've always wanted to watch it but I don't know why I never did. I thank Mike and also damn him for turning me onto this show or else I wouldn't be up so late every goddamn night watching every episode in marathon fashion.
The latest episode was just so heartbreaking. It's funny...for a show that's about death it took until the 30th episode to really get to me. I guess for all the shit that's been piled onto the characters, in a way it piles on you too until you just can't take it anymore. No, I didn't cry or anything but you know, it's the first episode that really tugged on the heart strings so to speak.
It's funny, I realized just now that every episode is like attending a funeral and I hate them. I've only been to three in my life, thank god, but I've also missed two that I should have gone to. The first, I was too young to realize what it was. The second, was my neighbors funeral and while I was a bit older...I still didn't realize what it was.
What should have been the third was my friend Brian who died while we were in the 11th grade. That was just denial on my part.
The fourth should have been my mom's cousin...which makes him kind of my uncle...that died of lung cancer a few years ago. Made the best goddamn soup and I've never enjoyed it since he died. Last time I saw him he could barely sit up in a chair and we never got to go the funeral cause our lives got in the way.
And the fifth was last summer when I attended my cousin's funeral. Didn't know him too well but he'd never let it seem that way. The guy gave me my first latte and I've been drinking coffee like that ever since. This funeral was the worst cause I was old enough to get that dying in bed at 45 (he had heart problems all his life) and leaving behind 7 children is just so fucked up. I did everything I could to stay together for that week. I even turned to a video camera and document the whole thing just to not cry. That didn't work out so well. Just a side note, to document a funeral and point a camera into a grieving widow's face and not feel anything is something only a soulless person could do.
But getting back to Six Feet Under. It's ironic cause I hate funerals and yet in the past week, in a way, I've sat through 30 of them. It's funny facing what you hate through something so beautiful.
It was good writing again. More to come, I'm sure.