ha-ha Elvis is dead!
ELViS Presley is DEAD!
The King sat on his throne for the last time on August 16, 1977. He plopped his fat ass on the toilet and tried to remember what he was doing. He heaved and grunted, trying to force the impacted shit out of his opium constipated ass for hours. His foggy brain barely noticed when he gasped from chest pain. Pain shot up his arms and down his legs. He puked up thick, black bile, gasping for breath, even his drugged mind realizing something was very wrong. He fell off the toilet with a loud, slapping thud; over 250 lbs of dead meat slamming down on a bathroom floor.
Within hours, rigor mortis set in, and Elvis Presley's eyeballs became distorted and discolored. The embalmer plugged all of Elvis Presley's orifices in a vain attempt to stop his draining, repugnant body fluids. His face was ashen-gray, characteristic of dead bodies. A mortician cut open the King's intestines and found them hopelessly stuffed full of dense, gray, clay-like shit. The embalmer drained the blood from Elvis through a trocar needle, two to three centimeters in diameter..
By the time Elvis was buried, his eyes bulged out, ripping the stitches that once held them shut. Elvis' grossly swollen tongue stuck out from between his lips, his mouth still mostly screwed shut. After a week, the pungent discharges from his body stained the coffin's once opulent lining, which began sagging and tearing under the strain of so much rotting meat.
The hot moist atmosphere of Elvis Presley's coffin was the perfect breeding ground for molds, which permeated his body after a couple weeks. He was eventually covered with a gray, dripping slime, and laid inch deep in his own putrid brown discharges. Some of Elvis Presley's green, mottled skin, and his greasy, matted hair started falling away from the decaying slab of his torso and head.
Within a year, the wood of his coffin disintegrated enough to let insects invade the area. The insects copped an opium buzz off his dead tissues, then carried their famous dinner off in a flurry of activity. His famous sideburns were greasy treats for earthworms and maggots. The movies and music live on, but there is no doubt..
ELViS Presley is DEAD!
The King sat on his throne for the last time on August 16, 1977. He plopped his fat ass on the toilet and tried to remember what he was doing. He heaved and grunted, trying to force the impacted shit out of his opium constipated ass for hours. His foggy brain barely noticed when he gasped from chest pain. Pain shot up his arms and down his legs. He puked up thick, black bile, gasping for breath, even his drugged mind realizing something was very wrong. He fell off the toilet with a loud, slapping thud; over 250 lbs of dead meat slamming down on a bathroom floor.
Within hours, rigor mortis set in, and Elvis Presley's eyeballs became distorted and discolored. The embalmer plugged all of Elvis Presley's orifices in a vain attempt to stop his draining, repugnant body fluids. His face was ashen-gray, characteristic of dead bodies. A mortician cut open the King's intestines and found them hopelessly stuffed full of dense, gray, clay-like shit. The embalmer drained the blood from Elvis through a trocar needle, two to three centimeters in diameter..
By the time Elvis was buried, his eyes bulged out, ripping the stitches that once held them shut. Elvis' grossly swollen tongue stuck out from between his lips, his mouth still mostly screwed shut. After a week, the pungent discharges from his body stained the coffin's once opulent lining, which began sagging and tearing under the strain of so much rotting meat.
The hot moist atmosphere of Elvis Presley's coffin was the perfect breeding ground for molds, which permeated his body after a couple weeks. He was eventually covered with a gray, dripping slime, and laid inch deep in his own putrid brown discharges. Some of Elvis Presley's green, mottled skin, and his greasy, matted hair started falling away from the decaying slab of his torso and head.
Within a year, the wood of his coffin disintegrated enough to let insects invade the area. The insects copped an opium buzz off his dead tissues, then carried their famous dinner off in a flurry of activity. His famous sideburns were greasy treats for earthworms and maggots. The movies and music live on, but there is no doubt..
ELViS Presley is DEAD!