hmmmmm...
okay so last night around 8 i got up and took a shower and after i got out i decided to clean...dont ask me why i just wanted to...so anyways im cleaning and i hear a knok on my door......and it was howie! aww i was happy to see him....so i say come in and so he does and we sit down and watch hannibal and then we watch a.f.v then we were just talking about the rave and about topamax and about ray and just everything and then blah blah blah happens and i dont know what to say and i guess he feels awkward and i dont know why he feels that way but then he gets up and says maybe i should leave and i say aww no its ok really it is and the he gets to the door and i say well you can call me and he says ok whats your number and so i give him my number and he says whats tomorrow and i say monday and he says ok well ill call you when i get off work ok...and i said ok...bye howie.......i dont what to do cause i like howie i do but i also like this guy i met at the rave.....travis......die,die,die,my darling.....sorry but i do i like him to and i was thinking abot calling josh and seeing what was up with him and ya know seeing if anythng was still there between us.........god...i dunno what to do....when i whant somone ......then theres no one to be found...but when i dont...BOOM tons of options...but i guess thats the best thing for me right but not for the guys i dunno i guess i can just like fuck all of them and have no emotional attachment what-so-ever with em right.....RIGHT? gosh.....does anyone have any helpful tips...at all????........cause i dont.........oh welll ill see what howie has to say and then ill see what josh has to say and ill see what travis has to say...lol...::sigh::ok well ill talk to yall later !.....bye bye