The Time Before You Sleep
You know the time when you just get in to bed, and you are trying to sleep, but thoughts of the past are nagging in your head?
Well, that's when usally for me all the stuff I got mad at in the past start to bug me and I get even more pissed. I think of all the stuff I want to write in a journal, but I never had the courage to write it out loud. Or maybe I just didn't want to have my thoughts in plain view.
I'm usally the type of person to laugh at things that get other people mad. When someone does something mean to me, I usally just smile and laugh as if it's no big deal. Well, in my mind, I'm mad and sad and....I don't know, just hate how I can just laugh at it and not tell what I am really feeling. I know some people take things to literally and do something drastic, but sometimes drastic thought cross my mind. Meh(my friends' word), it's a part of life.
Well, when I am laying in my bed, trying to sleep, things cross my mind, like I said before and last night was one of my worst mind journals. I can't even remember half of why I was so mad, but I am gonna write down the stuff I do remember. Well, the thought's cross my mind alot during they day to, espeically if I have nothing to do.
Well, sometimes wonder why I was giving this life, in this place, in this time. I know nothing is a coincidence, but I still wonder what my purpose is in life. I also wonder what I would be like to be someone eles, or if I never moved to Limestone.
Other things that cross my mind are drugs, smoking, drinking, running away and sudicide. But, I know somewhere out there, there is someone who is worst off then me. But I wonder, if there is always someone worst off, who is the worst off of all, 'cause it has to end somewhere?
Okay, now I will vent off some of the things I really hate. I hate how sometimes one of my friends will give my other friend 'the look' and then they will go off somewhere to disgust whatever they can't tell me/the rest of us. It hurts my feelings, but then again, I proably do that too. I also hate the fact that one friend will tell me or other friend that they hate/not on speaking terms with another friend, but as soon as they see the mad at person they run off with them to have a little secret conversation. Then, when the rest of us are sitting there, wondering if we should go after you, we(well I, but if I have insulted a friend 'cause they never felt that way, please tell me) realize, even if it isn't your intent, that it seems like you want us to follow, so we just don't. *I guess the qutoe 'Keep you friends close and you enemies closer' is fitting fo this paragraph*
Okay, I is all I can remember from my mind journal yesterday, so I will stop for today.
Hmm...I really am not this depressing.
Oh joy, my brothers are fighting again.
I also love my friends very much and I will always, no matter what.
Signed,
Padfoot
P.S.I soon got to go to bed.
Well, that's when usally for me all the stuff I got mad at in the past start to bug me and I get even more pissed. I think of all the stuff I want to write in a journal, but I never had the courage to write it out loud. Or maybe I just didn't want to have my thoughts in plain view.
I'm usally the type of person to laugh at things that get other people mad. When someone does something mean to me, I usally just smile and laugh as if it's no big deal. Well, in my mind, I'm mad and sad and....I don't know, just hate how I can just laugh at it and not tell what I am really feeling. I know some people take things to literally and do something drastic, but sometimes drastic thought cross my mind. Meh(my friends' word), it's a part of life.
Well, when I am laying in my bed, trying to sleep, things cross my mind, like I said before and last night was one of my worst mind journals. I can't even remember half of why I was so mad, but I am gonna write down the stuff I do remember. Well, the thought's cross my mind alot during they day to, espeically if I have nothing to do.
Well, sometimes wonder why I was giving this life, in this place, in this time. I know nothing is a coincidence, but I still wonder what my purpose is in life. I also wonder what I would be like to be someone eles, or if I never moved to Limestone.
Other things that cross my mind are drugs, smoking, drinking, running away and sudicide. But, I know somewhere out there, there is someone who is worst off then me. But I wonder, if there is always someone worst off, who is the worst off of all, 'cause it has to end somewhere?
Okay, now I will vent off some of the things I really hate. I hate how sometimes one of my friends will give my other friend 'the look' and then they will go off somewhere to disgust whatever they can't tell me/the rest of us. It hurts my feelings, but then again, I proably do that too. I also hate the fact that one friend will tell me or other friend that they hate/not on speaking terms with another friend, but as soon as they see the mad at person they run off with them to have a little secret conversation. Then, when the rest of us are sitting there, wondering if we should go after you, we(well I, but if I have insulted a friend 'cause they never felt that way, please tell me) realize, even if it isn't your intent, that it seems like you want us to follow, so we just don't. *I guess the qutoe 'Keep you friends close and you enemies closer' is fitting fo this paragraph*
Okay, I is all I can remember from my mind journal yesterday, so I will stop for today.
Hmm...I really am not this depressing.
Oh joy, my brothers are fighting again.
I also love my friends very much and I will always, no matter what.
Signed,
Padfoot
P.S.I soon got to go to bed.