Part VI: Another Chance? (1/3)
Chicago, November 2010
It was strangely warm for a November evening in Chicago, Jared mused as he walked down Belmont with a few friends from work. Passing the sex shop Egor’s Dungeon and its bright neon lights, he was reminded of his old neighborhood in Paris and felt a wave of nostalgia.
Since moving back to the States and finishing his degree in Architecture, Jared managed to land a job with Jeffery Dean Morgan at a firm in Chicago. He’d received glowing reviews from Mr. Cortese and the several of the other partners at the firm he’d worked at in Paris; Jared had become known for his good work ethic and willingness to do more than his fair share of work in order to make sure a project went smoothly.
When he graduated, he’d received job offers from several firms in Chicago, but it seemed a logical choice to work with his one-time boss’s friend. Jeff and Mr. Cortese had worked together on several jobs over the years, including one while Jared was still with the Parisian firm. Jeff had taken Jared under his wing and personally introduced him to several of the contacts the firm worked with on a consistent basis, making sure to tell them all how happy he was that he’d snatched Jared up before anyone else could hire him.
The first year had been difficult, Jared trying to acclimate to the way the small firm worked together, but it didn’t take long before he became a part of the family. It helped that his boss was demanding yet fair in his project assignments, making sure to use his team’s talents to the furthest of their abilities. The people Jared worked with were a driven group, but also a lot of fun to hang out with after work.
They were a noisy crowd, out to celebrate Jared’s closing of a highly sought-after deal with an avionics firm based out of Seattle. They were headed to Berlin for drinks and dancing, and Jared was excited about getting lost in the throb of the music after so many weeks of working late hours and weekends. Walking up to the entrance of the club, a nondescript beige building nestled between a cellphone repair shop and a fast food joint, he thought he saw Jensen out the corner of his eye, standing near a group of people waiting in line. When he looked again, Jensen was nowhere to be found.
Jared sighed and shook his head; it had been happening more and more lately. At first he’d approached the men, only to be disappointed when the eyes were wrong or the mouth wasn’t as full as the one that had kissed him stupid. He had to chalk it up to wishful thinking on his part, and it had become something of an inside joke among the friends he went out clubbing with.
Handing the bouncer his ID, he stood patiently while it was checked and his hand was stamped. The music was loud even outside, and the humid air pouring from the partially closed door made him glad he’d stuck to a form-fitting white tank top and jeans instead of something heavier.
Stepping inside, the thumpa thumpa bass was so loud Jared could feel it in his chest and he smiled widely, feeling truly free again for the first time in weeks. After getting a few starter shots with his friends, Jared made his way to a clear spot on the floor and started dancing. Raising his hands above his head, he moved his hips to the beat and lost himself in the music the way he loved to do. Time seemed to blur; at one point he realized he was dripping with sweat, so he stripped out of his tank top and tucked it into his back pocket, causing the guys around him to cheer and wolf-whistle at him.
When the DJ released a blizzard of streamers onto the dance floor, Jared decided it was a good time for a break. He made his way across the sticky floor, pausing to say hi to people he recognized and check in with the people he’d come to the club with. Leaning up against the bar, he motioned to the bartender and got a bottle of water, downing most of it quickly and pouring the rest over his head.
Scanning the crowd again, he was disappointed by his lack of options. It had been months since he’d had time to go home with someone, and he’d been hoping to find someone to play with tonight. Despite having been propositioned several times, he found himself unimpressed with the crowd at Berlin- He’d been coming here long enough to know a lot of the people here, and while Jared didn’t think of himself as conceited, none of them had the lush lips or the right shade of green eyes. They were all too tall or too short, and as much as he wanted to get laid, he realized that maybe it was time to head to Roscoe’s and try his luck there.
He found his friends again, motioning that he wanted to head out but had to make a pit stop first. They nodded, indicating they wanted to leave as well. He made his way to the bathroom slowly, pushing through the throng of people in the back of the room.
Stepping into the strangely empty bathroom, he immediately heard someone saying no, over and over, slurring and desperate.
“Thought you said you wanted it rough, bitch. You chickening out on me now?” There were sounds of a struggle in the handicapped stall, and a cry of pain that was quickly shushed. “That’s it, sweetheart. Easy now.”
Jared crossed the room and knocked on the stall door. “Everything okay in there?”
“Mind your own fucking business, asshole.” Came the voice from the other side of the door, and Jared shook his head. Suddenly, a tapping could be heard from inside the stall. Three quick taps, three slower ones, then three fast ones again. Jared realized that whoever was in the stall was signaling for help, and kicked the door down. It took him a moment to realize what he was seeing, and when it came to him he saw red.
Jensen was straddling the toilet, the man’s belt wrapped around his throat while he braced against the wall with his hands. His shirt was torn and dirty, and his face was red where the other man had obviously struck him repeatedly. There were tear tracks on his face, and when he lifted his head Jared could see the blind panic in his eyes. The man’s hand was clenching Jensen’s shirt, clearly holding him against the wall while he pulled the belt tighter.
“Let him go, man. You don’t want a fight, do you?”
“Get in line, buddy. This guy is such a slut he’ll be more than willing to take you next.” The man turned back to face Jensen, clearly unconcerned by the 6’4” of muscle standing behind him.
“I said, let him go.” Jared said, his voice going lower as he spoke. “Or I will make you. And you don’t want that.”
“Hey, man. I was here first. What are you going to do, fight me for him? Little faggot like him isn’t worth it.” The man leaned over and spat in Jensen’s face, and Jared had had enough.
Lightning fast, he punched the guy in the face with his right hand, then caught him in the stomach with his left as he began to fall. A quick jab with his right again left the man out cold on the dirty bathroom floor, and Jared couldn’t find it in him to pity him at all.
Jared rushed to Jensen’s side, loosening the belt from his throat and holding him upright as he coughed and sucked in shuddering breaths. “Jensen, Jen. You’re okay. You’re safe now, I swear.”
“Jared?” Jensen’s eyes swam up to meet Jared’s, but he seemed to have trouble focusing on any one thing. He realized Jensen was drugged, probably on molly, and Jared cursed himself for not looking harder for Jensen when he thought he’d seen him earlier. “It’s not really you. It never is,” Jensen mumbled, looking down at his hands. “I feel funny.”
“Jensen, it’s me, I swear,” Jared said, gently tipping Jensen’s head up so he could look him in the eye. “See, it’s really me.”
Jensen’s eyes widened in recognition, and his smile was so wide that it made Jared’s heartache. “Jared. Your hair is really soft,” he said, running one of his hands through Jared’s hair. “I missed you.”
Jared’s throat felt tight for a moment, and he sighed. “Yeah, I missed you too, Jen. Are you hurt?” Jared asked carefully, helping Jensen out of the stall and to the sinks. He leaned Jensen against the counter and wet a paper towel with lukewarm water, starting the process of cleaning up Jensen’s face. “Do you want me to take you to the hospital?”
Jensen jerked away, his eyes going wide in pain and fear. “No, please. No hospitals. Chris can’t know about this. I’d never hear the end of it.”
“Well, I can’t exactly leave you here, Jensen.” Jared paused, looking Jensen over. “Look, don’t take this the wrong way, but I really do not feel comfortable leaving you here. Do you want to come stay at my place for the night? I don’t live too far from here, and you could go home tomorrow.”
Jensen hesitated for a moment, then nodded. “Are you sure? I don’t want to impose or anything.” He said, standing up a bit straighter.
“No problem. Just let me tell my friends I’m gonna head home, okay?”
“Wait, no. You’re here with friends, and I don’t want to ruin your night. I’ll figure something out.” Jensen countered and turned to go. Before he could get far, Jared reached out and grabbed him by the arm, spinning him around.
“Jensen,” Jared said, using what he thought of as his Dom voice and feeling like shit for doing it. Right on cue, Jensen went soft and pliable in Jared’s arms. “You’re coming home with me so I can take care of you, okay?”
“Okay,” Jensen agreed in a small voice, and followed Jared out of the bathroom. The absence of Jensen’s usual snark made Jared happy he’d made the decision to take Jensen home; in his current state, there was no way to be sure that some other asshole wouldn’t try to take advantage of him.
Finding his friends waiting for him in the entrance, Jared made his excuses and promised to see them all Monday morning. Walking out of the club, he wrapped an arm around Jensen’s shoulders to pull him close and raised the other to hail a cab. One stopped right away, and Jared thanked anyone listening for that stroke of luck. Giving the cabbie the address quickly, he ushered Jensen into the cab first and made sure to get his seatbelt fastened before putting on his own. The cab driver raised an eyebrow but said nothing, and Jared made a mental note to tip well.
In the cab on the way back to Jared's place in Oak Park, Jensen kept reaching over to Jared, trying to get a hand down Jared’s pants while simultaneously trying to get a hand down his own. “Jensen,” Jared chastised, grabbing his wrist for the third time, “stop that.” Frustrated, Jensen pouted and threw his head back against the headrest, “Damnit, sorry. You’re probably dating someone.” He groaned.
Jared frowned at him in confusion, and trying to not stare at Jensen’s pulse point on display like that, “I’m not seeing anyone,” Jared assured him while tossing the cabbie a glance from the corner of his eye, “but we’re in the back of a cab and I don’t feel like getting arrested tonight.”
Jensen’s eyes looked far too hopeful when he turned back to look at Jared. “Yeah?” He asked missing casual by a mile and putting his hand back on Jared’s thigh.
Jared grabbed Jensen’s hand and laced their fingers together to keep it from wandering. He offered the cab driver an apology, which was laughed off while the music was turned up louder.
After they finally arrived at the apartment, Jared paid the still laughing cabbie and dragged Jensen out of the cab. Shuffling to the security door at the front of his building, he slowly entered the security code and opened the door with one arm while holding onto Jensen with the other.
He leaned Jensen against the wall at the base of the stairwell, and sighed. He lived on the third floor, and while he’d kept up with his Parisian workout regimen, he didn’t think he’d be able to carry a clingy Jensen up the three flights of stairs.
“Hey Jensen, I need you to listen to me for a moment, okay?” Jared said slowly, snapping his fingers in front of Jensen’s face in order to get his attention.
“Your eyes are really pretty,” Jensen murmured, swaying closer to Jared and closing his eyes. His lips pursed, and Jared realized Jensen was waiting for a kiss.
“Jensen, I’ll kiss you when we get upstairs. I need you to listen to me for a moment, first. Can you do that for me?”
“Oh. Okay, sure. What’s up?” Jensen asked, leaning against the wall in what Jared assumed was supposed to be a seductive pose.
“I live on the third floor, and I don’t think I can carry you up the stairs by myself,” he replied, swatting Jensen’s hand away when he reached a hand under Jared’s shirt.
Jensen pouted and swayed, looking like a milk-drunk kitten. “Are you calling me fat?” He asked petulantly, patting his stomach. “I still work out, you know.”
“No, Jensen. I’m not calling you fat. I’m saying that I’m tired and more than a little drunk, you’re stoned out of your mind, and I’m not feeling up to being your pack mule tonight.”
“Well, fine then. We both know it’s just so you can stare at my ass on the way up anyway.” With a wink Jensen started climbing the stairs quickly, and Jared rolled his eyes before following him up, determinedly not staring at Jensen’s ass. Much.
Once they finally got to Jared’s floor, he grabbed Jensen’s belt to prevent him from continuing up the stairs and steered him to his front door down the hall. Propping him up in the doorjamb, he managed to get the keys out of his pocket and the door unlocked before he felt Jensen’s warmth against his back, and a hand gently running through his hair.
“’M really glad you didn’t cut your hair. Always liked it long.” Jensen murmured into Jared’s back. Jared thumped his head against the door before sighing deeply and opening it. He reached behind him and took Jensen’s hand, flicking on the entryway light and guiding him inside.
Jensen flopped down onto the sofa, stretching out and moaning at the burn in his muscles. “I like this. Horizontal is good.”
“Are you feeling sick? Do I need to get you a bucket, Jen?”
“Naw, I’ll be fine,” Jensen drawled, the Texas thick and syrupy in his voice. He turned his head and began studying the DVD collection on the shelf of the coffee table intently, reading the titles to himself under his breath and making a noise of approval at the titles he recognized.
Jared shook his head and turned to walk into the kitchen, assuming Jensen would be okay without supervision while he got a bottle of water and a couple aspirin from the cabinet. His eye was caught by a picture on the fridge, a picture Gen had given him shortly before he left Paris. It was from the night that he’d run into Jensen again, taken while he was dancing on stage. He looked amazing, every line of muscle standing out and shining in oiled shadow from the stage lights above.
He’d kept it, though, because of the expression on Jensen’s face, just barely visible in the darkness of the audience. He’d looked hungry, the way so many of his patrons had while watching him dance. There was a longing in his expression as well, though- As though he was remembering the Jared that he’d known, and wanted to know the Jared on stage more than anything. It had taken a long time for Jared to accept what had happened that night, and even longer to understand what Gen had captured in that photo and reconcile that with what had happened the following morning. Jared knew there was no going back, but seeing Jensen that night had made him realize that maybe he wasn’t as over Jensen as he wanted to believe he was.
Shaking his head ruefully, he turned and walked back into the living room, only to be greeted with the sight of Jensen stripped completely naked and jacking his cock on the sofa. Jared almost dropped the bottle of water and aspirin, just barely catching it as he stopped in the doorway to quietly watch Jensen. His eyes were closed, his hips thrusting into his clenched fist as he moaned softly and turned his head from side to side. Raising a hand to his mouth, Jensen sucked on two fingers obscenely before lowering them between his legs. He gasped suddenly, and Jared groaned when he realized Jensen was fingering himself open on his couch.
Jensen’s eyes snapped open, and he smiled coyly. “What, do you need an engraved invitation? Get your cock over here, Jay. I want it.” He twisted his fingers, grunting as he arched his back in pleasure.
“I don’t think that’s such a good idea Jen,” Jared said firmly, stepping further into the living room and putting the bottle of water and aspirin down on the coffee table, careful to stay out of Jensen’s reach. Jensen eyed the items for a moment, then sluggishly turned his head to stare at Jared again. His hand never stilled its up and down motion on his cock, and Jared could hear the hitching in his breath each time his wrist twisted, pushing his fingers in and out of the hole Jared had spent the last three years jerking off to the memory of.
“Why the fuck not? I want it, you want it. We’re both grown-ass adults. What’s the problem?” Jensen asked, raising an eyebrow.
“You’re right, I do want you, but you’re not in a position to consent to anything right now, Jen. I’d be taking advantage of you, and I don’t want to do that.” Jared walked over to the ottoman near the sofa and opened it to remove a soft blanket and pillow from the storage compartment. He tossed the pillow to Jensen, who tucked it under his head and stared at him with a quirked eyebrow.
“You’re really serious about this, aren’t you?” Jensen asked, sounding more curious than upset.
“Yes, Jensen. You’re going to stay here on the couch and sleep this off, and I’m going to bed. Alone. If you still want to do this in the morning, then I’m more than willing to fuck you stupid. But not until then.” Jared knelt by the couch and tucked the blanket around Jensen, giving in to the temptation and gently kissing him on the forehead. “I’ll see you in the morning, okay?”
Jensen nodded, still staring at Jared with a confused look on his face. “You’re too much of a boy scout for your own good, Padalecki.”
Jared chuckled, but didn’t rise to the bait. “Goodnight, Jensen.”
He stood once more and, after turning off the overhead light in the living room, made his way down the dark hallway to his bedroom and quickly closed the door. Stripping quickly, Jared started the shower and waited a moment for the cold pipes to heat up before he stepped inside. He stood under the spray for a moment, closing his eyes and breathing heavily.
Seeing Jensen again after so long, he was painfully reminded of just how attracted he was to the other man, and how incapable he was of making a rational decision around him. Case in point, his cock was heavy and hard between his legs, and a part of him wanted to say fuck it, turn off the shower and go take Jensen up on his offer. A rational part of him understood, however, that that would make him no better than the asshole he’d found forcing himself on Jensen back at the club. Decision made, Jared shook his head and began soaping himself up, scrubbing hard to get the sticky sweat and funk of a Friday night in Chicago off his skin.
Turning off the shower, he dried off and brushed his teeth, deciding to spend some quality time with his right hand before going to sleep. Opening the bathroom door, however, he saw a Jensen-sized lump in his bed. He stepped closer, intending to shake him awake, but stopped when he heard a small snuffling noise come from under the blankets. He lifted up the comforter to see Jensen fast asleep, curled into a small ball and cuddling one of his pillows with a small smile on his face.
Shaking his head in amusement, Jared walked over to his dresser and pulled out a pair of boxer briefs. He stepped into them with care, mindful of the erection he was still sporting. After closing the shades and plugging in his phone, he crawled into bed next to Jensen, who unconsciously wiggled back until he was curled up next to Jared. Jared tried to inch away, to keep a respectable distance between them in his king bed, but Jensen made an unhappy noise and Jared realized he was good and stuck for the night. Sighing, he got comfortable on his side, and put an arm around Jensen. His last thought before he fell asleep is how dangerously natural this felt.