The lost art of just saying "Fuck it."
In recent days, it has been brought to my attention that there is a new, deadly threat sweeping the globe. This horrific menace strikes young and old alike, men and women in every city in every country. EVERYWHERE. To most, the symptoms are never detected, as once this condition has taken hold of you, it is impossible for others to cure. I have labeled this affliction "Giving a shit."
Whatever happened to the days when no one gave a shit? I remember them fondly. If you spilled soda on your new jacket, you'd put a different jacket on and the problem was solved. Fuck it. If your car wouldn't start, you'd say "Fuck it" and go back inside. Some dude stole your bike. Fuck it. Take your skateboard. Such solutions seem so absurd to so many people these days and I don't get it.
For example, most of you know I wait tables. Say we get a party of nine late at night. Normally we'd split it. (More than eight, bring a date - how gay is that?) But what if there's only a couple servers on and they're all busy but me? I say, "Fuck it, I'll take 'em." That's just what I did tonight. My manager saw what was going on and said that I needed to change the floor plan. Apparently one of the new girls was assigned too many tables for her PAR status (I'm not even getting into PAR status right now, it's like leveling up in D&D but you only get one skill point and it MUST be assigned to the STILL HAS SHITTY JOB skill). I pointed out that I was waiting on half of her section anyway with the party of nine and all, and he changed the floor plan anyway.
My question is: why?
There comes a point where everyone needs the ability to look at a situation and think, "Is this worth me giving a shit?" More and more I have been finding that people are giving shits where shits deserve not to be given.
Another example, whenever someone asks me, "When do you get out of work XXXXday?" I usually reply with an answer ending in -ish. Tenish is a reoccurring word in my lexicon. Tenish. What the fuck is that? Now, the part where a shit is being unnecessarily given is when the enquirer replies with a "What do you mean?" I'm not a man who enjoys repeating himself, but I have to tell people all the time. "I wait tables. We never know exactly when we'll be getting out." Time and time again, they will inform me that this policy is bullshit. Why? I don't give a shit when I get out of work. Why should you? I learned years ago to say "Fuck it."
It's almost like people feel the need to blow your shit out of the water every time they see you with some story about X did Y wrong and pissed off W, so V and Z are gonna tell T. The probelm is that the person telling you this is usually someone like H, who is not even involved with that section of the alphabet. I stand there, stone faced. I don't care what any of the letters are up to except me. I'm S. as long as R and T don't give me any shit, I'm not going to go flipping through the Rolodex looking for trouble.
Hopefully, you'll have skipped most of this entry and just read the bottom, as I do all of yours. If so, go back and read the paragraph before this one about the letters. I like that one.
Whatever happened to the days when no one gave a shit? I remember them fondly. If you spilled soda on your new jacket, you'd put a different jacket on and the problem was solved. Fuck it. If your car wouldn't start, you'd say "Fuck it" and go back inside. Some dude stole your bike. Fuck it. Take your skateboard. Such solutions seem so absurd to so many people these days and I don't get it.
For example, most of you know I wait tables. Say we get a party of nine late at night. Normally we'd split it. (More than eight, bring a date - how gay is that?) But what if there's only a couple servers on and they're all busy but me? I say, "Fuck it, I'll take 'em." That's just what I did tonight. My manager saw what was going on and said that I needed to change the floor plan. Apparently one of the new girls was assigned too many tables for her PAR status (I'm not even getting into PAR status right now, it's like leveling up in D&D but you only get one skill point and it MUST be assigned to the STILL HAS SHITTY JOB skill). I pointed out that I was waiting on half of her section anyway with the party of nine and all, and he changed the floor plan anyway.
My question is: why?
There comes a point where everyone needs the ability to look at a situation and think, "Is this worth me giving a shit?" More and more I have been finding that people are giving shits where shits deserve not to be given.
Another example, whenever someone asks me, "When do you get out of work XXXXday?" I usually reply with an answer ending in -ish. Tenish is a reoccurring word in my lexicon. Tenish. What the fuck is that? Now, the part where a shit is being unnecessarily given is when the enquirer replies with a "What do you mean?" I'm not a man who enjoys repeating himself, but I have to tell people all the time. "I wait tables. We never know exactly when we'll be getting out." Time and time again, they will inform me that this policy is bullshit. Why? I don't give a shit when I get out of work. Why should you? I learned years ago to say "Fuck it."
It's almost like people feel the need to blow your shit out of the water every time they see you with some story about X did Y wrong and pissed off W, so V and Z are gonna tell T. The probelm is that the person telling you this is usually someone like H, who is not even involved with that section of the alphabet. I stand there, stone faced. I don't care what any of the letters are up to except me. I'm S. as long as R and T don't give me any shit, I'm not going to go flipping through the Rolodex looking for trouble.
Hopefully, you'll have skipped most of this entry and just read the bottom, as I do all of yours. If so, go back and read the paragraph before this one about the letters. I like that one.