(no subject)
nothing ever fucking goes right.im depressed as fuck.shit just keeps gettin thrown my way and i cant deal with it all.i have no more room for bad stuff happening in my life.ive lost most of the people who were closest to me.nothing means anything anymore.i hope me,ian and brooks get an apartment ,were supposed to in march.that might make things better.sometimes i wish i just had a room 6feet by 6 feet and all i had in it was a bed and a desk to draw and write at,i might be content with that.shits gotta start happening.why do i have to deal with all this shit?it just keeps gettin built up.and i have some problem staying in one place for very long.like right now i feel like fucking leavin and just walking somewhere i almost cant stand it.it sucks.i drink alot,maybe to forget everything but in the end when ur sitting by urself at home it just makes u remeber where ur at and where u going.fucking nowwhere. i dont need to hear all the school bullshit fuck that.yeah maybe if i went back it would make everything better,but i dont want that i want to make it on my own and i want to make something of this nothing.i want to go back to everyone and fucking say hahah look at me now.thats my goal.i love the people here but i hate this place, this town.i wanna get out but it would make me sad to leave.i want someone in my life to make and impact on me.i feel like i have no one to help.its me on my own.but maybe thats how its supposed to be.ill make something of myself you watch you see.tommorow[today] im gunna wake up walk around and figure shit out.sunday is a good day to relax and get everything straight.i wants things to go back how they were.everyone else is fucking happy.maybe im paying my dues.it just seems like everthing is falling away and i wont let go until i hit rock bottom.no matter what u say to me it doesnt chnge a thing it doesnt change me unless u can fucking get thru to me i wont change one bit.you cant depend on people they just let you down.i dk if i can sleep tonight i just wanna stay up and walk around early.i cant wait till im satisfied with my life.i dont think ive ever been satisfied with my life.im setting myself up for complete failure.IM ALL ABOUT MAKING SOME OF THIS NOTHING.