(no subject)
Since I’m moving over to livejournal, I’ll copy below the blogs I wrote for my other site. I write to practice my writing, to express my ideas, and also to discover new ideas along the way, so I welcome comments, questions, criticisms, etc.
My previous blog was called With Rhyme and Reason, and I think I’ll continue in that vein (with occasional deviation). Basically, I look through different poems until I stumble upon a line or two that sparks an idea. While the poems don’t always rhyme, my discussions with hopefully always be filled with reason. Enjoy!
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Sunday, July 1, 2007
…yet these are
friends I can always count on
these who have no emotion
whatsoever
-Li Po, “Alone and Drinking Under the Moon”
__________
Li Po writes of a quiet gratitude for his two friends - the moon and his shadow - whom he can always count on. When befriending human beings, however, a relationship that is guaranteed should engender boredom and dissatisfaction.
A relationship with someone whom you “can always count on” (implied: no matter what) may seem like the epitome of perfection in human contact, fortified by trust and loyalty. But “no matter what” is a gaping crack in the illusion of a solid fortification, through which any number of horrors and faults may enter. No matter what…I do? No matter what…sort of person I become? Like the principle of “unconditional love,” this requires the parties involved to suspend judgment on one another. It’s a free pass, a blind eye, a promise to care and love anything and everything.
But isn’t love much more satisfying when it is conditional love? When you can say, “He loves me for the sum of all that I do and all that I am?” When you know that love and respect were not tossed randomly upon you, but rather bestowed as a delicate reward?
Conditional love, however, is conditional. The reward may be revoked, the friendship or marriage ended, if you fail to continue earning it. While the future is unknown, I would imagine that the risk of losing a relationship contributes significantly to its excitement and joy. A relationship guaranteed for years requires no effort to maintain; but at any point, you can never be sure if the other person still values and enjoys your company. And if they do not, what pleasure can you derive from such an arrangement? On the other hand, knowing that you are loved for your virtues and achievements will confirm your self-esteem and perhaps even encourage you to be a “better” person (though this should not be your main motivation).
This does not mean that, at the first sign of a disagreement or disapproval, the relationship must end. We should be loved for the sum of who we are, the overarching values that we hold, which are not marred by a single misstep. When someone makes a mistake, tell them so. “I’ll support my friend even if he’s wrong” is a betrayal of both morality and the friend. But encourage the right, and this will benefit the person much more than ill-founded approval.
So enjoy the light of the moon and the darkness of your ever-present shadow, but seek as true friends those who judge and have emotions and thoughts. While they are not guaranteed to be here tomorrow, their presence is more meaningful today.
My previous blog was called With Rhyme and Reason, and I think I’ll continue in that vein (with occasional deviation). Basically, I look through different poems until I stumble upon a line or two that sparks an idea. While the poems don’t always rhyme, my discussions with hopefully always be filled with reason. Enjoy!
____________________________________________________________________________
Sunday, July 1, 2007
…yet these are
friends I can always count on
these who have no emotion
whatsoever
-Li Po, “Alone and Drinking Under the Moon”
__________
Li Po writes of a quiet gratitude for his two friends - the moon and his shadow - whom he can always count on. When befriending human beings, however, a relationship that is guaranteed should engender boredom and dissatisfaction.
A relationship with someone whom you “can always count on” (implied: no matter what) may seem like the epitome of perfection in human contact, fortified by trust and loyalty. But “no matter what” is a gaping crack in the illusion of a solid fortification, through which any number of horrors and faults may enter. No matter what…I do? No matter what…sort of person I become? Like the principle of “unconditional love,” this requires the parties involved to suspend judgment on one another. It’s a free pass, a blind eye, a promise to care and love anything and everything.
But isn’t love much more satisfying when it is conditional love? When you can say, “He loves me for the sum of all that I do and all that I am?” When you know that love and respect were not tossed randomly upon you, but rather bestowed as a delicate reward?
Conditional love, however, is conditional. The reward may be revoked, the friendship or marriage ended, if you fail to continue earning it. While the future is unknown, I would imagine that the risk of losing a relationship contributes significantly to its excitement and joy. A relationship guaranteed for years requires no effort to maintain; but at any point, you can never be sure if the other person still values and enjoys your company. And if they do not, what pleasure can you derive from such an arrangement? On the other hand, knowing that you are loved for your virtues and achievements will confirm your self-esteem and perhaps even encourage you to be a “better” person (though this should not be your main motivation).
This does not mean that, at the first sign of a disagreement or disapproval, the relationship must end. We should be loved for the sum of who we are, the overarching values that we hold, which are not marred by a single misstep. When someone makes a mistake, tell them so. “I’ll support my friend even if he’s wrong” is a betrayal of both morality and the friend. But encourage the right, and this will benefit the person much more than ill-founded approval.
So enjoy the light of the moon and the darkness of your ever-present shadow, but seek as true friends those who judge and have emotions and thoughts. While they are not guaranteed to be here tomorrow, their presence is more meaningful today.