should men cry?

[theotherguy7]

This was the topic today. ( I see a bus driver three times in a shift. once when we start, and then twice more during the shift our buses are at southgate TC at the same time. We have got into the habit of having discussions on various topics

Comments

[buhrger]

i think the word "should" doesn't mean anything. could you rephrase your question?

Crying and being a man

[theotherguy7]

What is the best phrasing for the question?
The basic idea was that men cannot show 'softer' emotions as this made them like women.

[buhrger]

now you're using the word "cannot" as a synonym for the words "should not". try again.

I have had two hours sleep.

[theotherguy7]

Could you PLEASE give me the answer?

Re: I have had two hours sleep.

[buhrger]

nope. sorry. in my experience "should" is a technique people use to smuggle values into an argument without explaining what those values are. as someone who has a hard time understanding social interaction (look how i'm mucking this one up, for example), i'd rather if the premises are actually spelled out.

(to clarify my point: i don't know what your question is supposed to mean. this is not a case of my intentionally being difficult. this is a case of my unavoidably being difficult, cuz that's how my brain is wired.)

Re: I have had two hours sleep.

[theotherguy7]

I agree with your point. I am quite brain dead at this point of sleep deprivation. Yet I can appreciate the integrity of your thinking. I happen to also appreciate how your brain is wired because of the good perspectives it brings up. My perspective is that when someone says to me: "Men should not cry." that this is an opportunity to explore the reasoning behind such a statement. Including all the hopes, fears, values, beliefs, and even prejudices that lead to such a statement. Thus it is an opportunity for dialogue that exposes the very things that the 'should' statement is trying to establish without the openness and clarity necessary for good communication. Like another response indicated. (joncs) There is an explicit rejection and/or coercion in the 'should' statement.