(no subject)
So, this is me. My first entry in a very long time.
Things are still good here...in a way. In some sense I feel like it'll never be as new or exciting as it was that first term. I guess what they say is "the honeymoon is over". The winter here is as bitter cold as it is beautiful, because you see that pure white blanket of snow is actually actively trying to smother you with frostbite. :)
My elbow is practically healed. I know this because when Yui slide tackled me on the ice and I landed directly on my right elbow (then my head) it did not shatter. Apparently I twitched a bit, in an eplileptic sort of way, but I guess that was just me panicing beacause the fall knocked the wind out of me. I think this weather makes me morbid. This term I've actually been homesick. That didn't happen last term. I would be lying if I said I wasn't having a hard time right now. I might have to drop calc. But chemistry is easy, and I feel like I have a good hold on spanish, even if I don't get the best grade. But this term was from the begining an expirament, to see if I could handle a math-science type schedual, if I could do three months of problem sets instead of papers (at least, papers in english). So even if an expirament fails, you learn something, don't you? You begin to learn what went wrong and why. So to call my life in the last three months a failure would be incorrect. It's become a lesson in what does not work for me, what I can and cannot do, acedemically, socially, physically.
I won't lie, I thought about Reed. For a little while, that seemed like the best option, for a lot of reasons. But I'm not transferring. I would miss my new friends too much. And for me, right now, transferring WOULD feel like failure. I can see myself here for the next three and a half years, for the long haul. I'm ok with that. I just wish I could fast forward to spring.
Things are still good here...in a way. In some sense I feel like it'll never be as new or exciting as it was that first term. I guess what they say is "the honeymoon is over". The winter here is as bitter cold as it is beautiful, because you see that pure white blanket of snow is actually actively trying to smother you with frostbite. :)
My elbow is practically healed. I know this because when Yui slide tackled me on the ice and I landed directly on my right elbow (then my head) it did not shatter. Apparently I twitched a bit, in an eplileptic sort of way, but I guess that was just me panicing beacause the fall knocked the wind out of me. I think this weather makes me morbid. This term I've actually been homesick. That didn't happen last term. I would be lying if I said I wasn't having a hard time right now. I might have to drop calc. But chemistry is easy, and I feel like I have a good hold on spanish, even if I don't get the best grade. But this term was from the begining an expirament, to see if I could handle a math-science type schedual, if I could do three months of problem sets instead of papers (at least, papers in english). So even if an expirament fails, you learn something, don't you? You begin to learn what went wrong and why. So to call my life in the last three months a failure would be incorrect. It's become a lesson in what does not work for me, what I can and cannot do, acedemically, socially, physically.
I won't lie, I thought about Reed. For a little while, that seemed like the best option, for a lot of reasons. But I'm not transferring. I would miss my new friends too much. And for me, right now, transferring WOULD feel like failure. I can see myself here for the next three and a half years, for the long haul. I'm ok with that. I just wish I could fast forward to spring.