Let me explain.
1. I have proof that my commitment to fatshionista has come full circle, since I am now almost-universally relieved when people flounce. I am allowing myself to write exactly three sentences about my Mod Pain, so here they are:
Over the past five years, moderating fatshionista has, without question, supplied me with some of the most painful and frustrating and heartbreaking and miserable and stressful periods of my entire life. I don't do anything unless I am incredibly passionate about and committed to it, and I don't do shit half-way, so the drain these events have on my psyche and my soul cannot be overstated, especially considering this isn't just Internet Funtimes to me, but is a critical aspect of my ten-plus years as a fat activist. I won't speak for my mod compatriots, but for me it almost doesn't matter that I don't get paid for this work, since no amount of money would be adequate compensation; it's worth it, totally worth it, when it works, but to make it work, sometimes shit has to go down first, and it never gets easier to deal with, but I'm still doing it, still fighting, and I'm proud of myself for that.
There it is. Enjoy and/or mock my public mod pain as you will.
1a. Incidentally, today is fatshionista's fifth birthday. Seriously. I simultaneously can and cannot believe it's been that long. Usually I post something about this to the community itself, which I may yet do -- my heart is not so much in it at the moment, but I would also enjoy a celebratory moment in light of the current atmosphere.
2. Yesterday I had a second meeting with a BU journalism student who's writing a profile of me for a class. Under normal circumstances I politely decline (or ignore) student requests, but she's at my alma mater (BU's College of Communication) so I said yes. She discovered fatshionista.com via a link from Newsweek and thought I'd make an interesting subject. Yesterday's meeting was for her not so much to question me but to see me in a dynamic environment. Lord, I am kind of boring in RL. We went to the MFA at my suggestion, and mostly I walked around trying to think of interesting things to say while she quietly observed and took notes. It was a little bizarre for me, as I felt ridiculously self-conscious and I am almost never self-conscious.
3. I haven't been to the gym in over a week, owing to the holiday and various after-work appointments. This is terrible and unhappy-making.
4. Rufus the cat has ringworm (not actually a worm, but a fungus). So now he's isolated from the other cats, and has a NEW shaved patch on his back so we can treat the infected area, which is luckily pretty small. He probably picked it up in the shelter, but it takes 7-14 days to show up on the skin so it's only been obvious the past couple days. The poor lamb.
5. The LJ-walkabout didn't really happen, clearly, so I'm trying it again this weekend.
Over the past five years, moderating fatshionista has, without question, supplied me with some of the most painful and frustrating and heartbreaking and miserable and stressful periods of my entire life. I don't do anything unless I am incredibly passionate about and committed to it, and I don't do shit half-way, so the drain these events have on my psyche and my soul cannot be overstated, especially considering this isn't just Internet Funtimes to me, but is a critical aspect of my ten-plus years as a fat activist. I won't speak for my mod compatriots, but for me it almost doesn't matter that I don't get paid for this work, since no amount of money would be adequate compensation; it's worth it, totally worth it, when it works, but to make it work, sometimes shit has to go down first, and it never gets easier to deal with, but I'm still doing it, still fighting, and I'm proud of myself for that.
There it is. Enjoy and/or mock my public mod pain as you will.
1a. Incidentally, today is fatshionista's fifth birthday. Seriously. I simultaneously can and cannot believe it's been that long. Usually I post something about this to the community itself, which I may yet do -- my heart is not so much in it at the moment, but I would also enjoy a celebratory moment in light of the current atmosphere.
2. Yesterday I had a second meeting with a BU journalism student who's writing a profile of me for a class. Under normal circumstances I politely decline (or ignore) student requests, but she's at my alma mater (BU's College of Communication) so I said yes. She discovered fatshionista.com via a link from Newsweek and thought I'd make an interesting subject. Yesterday's meeting was for her not so much to question me but to see me in a dynamic environment. Lord, I am kind of boring in RL. We went to the MFA at my suggestion, and mostly I walked around trying to think of interesting things to say while she quietly observed and took notes. It was a little bizarre for me, as I felt ridiculously self-conscious and I am almost never self-conscious.
3. I haven't been to the gym in over a week, owing to the holiday and various after-work appointments. This is terrible and unhappy-making.
4. Rufus the cat has ringworm (not actually a worm, but a fungus). So now he's isolated from the other cats, and has a NEW shaved patch on his back so we can treat the infected area, which is luckily pretty small. He probably picked it up in the shelter, but it takes 7-14 days to show up on the skin so it's only been obvious the past couple days. The poor lamb.
5. The LJ-walkabout didn't really happen, clearly, so I'm trying it again this weekend.