This was written yesterday [6/30]
Okay, so I'm getting even more fed up.
The time I steal to look up jobs is fruitless
All jobs are either above me
Out of my league entirely [i.e.: senior accountant]
Or possibly something that I'd still end up changing jobs
I'm not the most stable-minded person
And I get pissed at myself much more often than I should
Looking on those job sites is even stupider
So many available jobs...that I can't get.
Or that are in Chicago.
Now that we have this lease out here in Champaign
I can't go to Chicago.
Mom's going to "Affie" [Afghanistan]
And all Ty's stuff is routed to go to Champaign.
Our Chicago home will be taken from us soon.
So I have no place to stay
Which means if I get a job back there
I HAVE to get a job that'll pay for an apartment.
In Chicago, I don't believe it possible
Unless you're full time...NO lower than $10/hr.
Even then, your health is gonna suffer.
Cuz if you have a single bill besides rent
You can't afford food all the time
You have a car, you're fucked.
You have a cell phone, it's not staying on
It's just bad. Like...you need 2 people.
Possibly both working 2 jobs.
I just don't want to work here anymore
And I'm getting desperate to get out of here
But at the same time I don't want to lose much money
Still need to be full time.
I'm going back to the warehouse.
I think Kraft would be good.
I need to figure out if they have any positions.
Even if they were only paying $10/hr
If my average hours weekly were 50
then that'd still be more than what I make at Pavlov.
But if I made roughly the same amount
$12 instead of $12.24 I make here now...
*calculates*
I'd come up with hundreds more.
I found some warehouse work that does around $15/hr.
I'm not even gonna calculate.
I'm a dummy though.
I'd prefer to work a dummy job.
I would like to work in a place like foodservice.
Food4less starts at $13-something.
I'd much prefer it.
It's in a freezer, so it'd be cool.
[haha, literally]
I get my chillsuit.
Trained on the equipment.
And I'd actually buy some decent earbuds
No trouble hiding them when I'm rockin' music
Get an iPod, ya know?
Classic, not nunna dat 'touch' bull.
Cheap ass iPod.
I get iPods for the music.
I don't want to buy a PDA with the ABILITY to play music.
Any phone can do that nowadays!
If I want a device for my music
I want a device just for that.
Carry all my music.
Don't worry about me getting to the internet
I don't need facebook like that.
Youtube ain't payin' me to connect all that often
I'm not a businessman that needs all I can get
stuffed into one handheld.
I think a phone, iPod, keys, and wallet isn't too much to carry.
I'm just sayin'...
I think if I had LaTia out here, however
I could deal with Pavlov Media.
Not saying I'd settle.
Definitely not saying I'd stay if she were here.
But I think LaTia would make a helluva difference
to my daily sanity.
To the amount of ranting I do.
Life feels SO much different when you cam come home from having a hard day
And find comfort in another person...DAILY.
Shit feels surreal.
I'd like it to be something that just happens here.
Something that we make work.
Somehow.
But I'm not sure, seeing that I'm gonna change jobs.
I'd wanna make sure I'm good & solid in a gig
Before I go along with the life changing gig.
Ya dig?