spillin'
i'm finally sittin' in front of live journal with the intention of writing for more than five minutes.
my upper arm still aches in pain for it's sprained and in a week i've only recieved two nights of badass sleep.
dreaming of gator cats, atlantic, trains, shootings, colorado, relatives. waking up three, four, or five times during the night
to terrible pains in my arm...pain killers aren't working and if you know me i'm not one to love pills.
most likely i'm going to denton for easter! sleeping on sarah's couch, cuddling together, living her denton life, getting drunk, and pretending we live together. my body still gets strange feelings when i think of the abscence of my seaster...i hope once i move to silly austin i'll get to see her more...
latley i've been makin' myself believe that i don't want to attend st. ed's and that going to denton would solve problems and chill me the fuck out, but i know i should go to st. ed's and enjoy it like i know i will. i'm just a scaredy cat. i get really excited when i think of the classes i'm going to take.
walking through the hallways at school and all i do is write femme poetry in my head and relapse to the feelin' i get when i read a good woman's anthology book, pero casi siempre olvide los lineas... i provoke so much feeling inside and forget where i can easily channel it.
tim and i watched some ridiculously fucked up short films the past two days and i sound like a shitty person when i admit that i like to watch the different ways people can die in such harmless situations.
it's kinda silly when i think about how much i wanna visit and do nothin' with nora. i wonder if we really do meet eachother will we h8 one another and regret meeting. i have stories to share but i think we both forget about one another sometimes. i'm being sappy.
ohman how i feel like writing and writing and writing but i need to fall into sleep soon.
i miss thomas and all of them... i wish they missed me too.
sometimes i look in the mirror and look at pictures from two months ago and i don't recognize myself
and i wonder how it feels to not have my neck cold. my body's goin' through changes because it's gettin itself ready to procreate by the tricks of my hormones, meanin' i've gained weight. most of the time i don't care since my boyfriend still wants to fuck me.
i will start getting into the routine of running though, i like the feeling of not being able to breathe, sweat running down, knowing your legs can control your speed, believing i can run farther and faster the next time. since i don't smoke bud anymore i get a high off of running, eating candy, and clit stimulation, so it's all good. i think i can easily become addicted to cigerattes and if i ever tried morphine i'd be a goner.
i like how honest i'm spillin this shit out. i miss my friends. picking out a bridesmate dress for lauren's wedding is going to be a trip.
post pictures and poetry later.
my upper arm still aches in pain for it's sprained and in a week i've only recieved two nights of badass sleep.
dreaming of gator cats, atlantic, trains, shootings, colorado, relatives. waking up three, four, or five times during the night
to terrible pains in my arm...pain killers aren't working and if you know me i'm not one to love pills.
most likely i'm going to denton for easter! sleeping on sarah's couch, cuddling together, living her denton life, getting drunk, and pretending we live together. my body still gets strange feelings when i think of the abscence of my seaster...i hope once i move to silly austin i'll get to see her more...
latley i've been makin' myself believe that i don't want to attend st. ed's and that going to denton would solve problems and chill me the fuck out, but i know i should go to st. ed's and enjoy it like i know i will. i'm just a scaredy cat. i get really excited when i think of the classes i'm going to take.
walking through the hallways at school and all i do is write femme poetry in my head and relapse to the feelin' i get when i read a good woman's anthology book, pero casi siempre olvide los lineas... i provoke so much feeling inside and forget where i can easily channel it.
tim and i watched some ridiculously fucked up short films the past two days and i sound like a shitty person when i admit that i like to watch the different ways people can die in such harmless situations.
it's kinda silly when i think about how much i wanna visit and do nothin' with nora. i wonder if we really do meet eachother will we h8 one another and regret meeting. i have stories to share but i think we both forget about one another sometimes. i'm being sappy.
ohman how i feel like writing and writing and writing but i need to fall into sleep soon.
i miss thomas and all of them... i wish they missed me too.
sometimes i look in the mirror and look at pictures from two months ago and i don't recognize myself
and i wonder how it feels to not have my neck cold. my body's goin' through changes because it's gettin itself ready to procreate by the tricks of my hormones, meanin' i've gained weight. most of the time i don't care since my boyfriend still wants to fuck me.
i will start getting into the routine of running though, i like the feeling of not being able to breathe, sweat running down, knowing your legs can control your speed, believing i can run farther and faster the next time. since i don't smoke bud anymore i get a high off of running, eating candy, and clit stimulation, so it's all good. i think i can easily become addicted to cigerattes and if i ever tried morphine i'd be a goner.
i like how honest i'm spillin this shit out. i miss my friends. picking out a bridesmate dress for lauren's wedding is going to be a trip.
post pictures and poetry later.