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It coils inside of him like a snake, or oil in water. Clearly out of place in the trranquility of himself and his surroundings. it's smoothe, slippery form is impossible to catch and stop, constantly changing shape and form. It moves hrough him, through every cell of every limb sapping his strength. It moves through his mind, making him forget his words of power, disrupting his ordered thoughts, and throwing him into disarray. What is this thing that reduces him to nothing?
Fear.
He panics, loosing all of his plans, and thoughts thinking that he needs only one thing: to find safety. He knows of one place where he can find that, but does not know if he is welcome there any longer. But all the same it is where he needs to go.
He worries that it it is inaccesible, and barred from him. He is unable to devise a means of remmdying that. Unlike the status quoo, this problem cannot be approached from a neutral position and solved. He lacks any of his mental tools to deal with the problem.
He need to go home and see her.
He wonders if she knows of his indiscrstions and liason while he has been absent. Of how he has justified lower and lower levels of his principals until he has been left a shell of a shell. He feels guilt now, guilt for everything he has done wrong so far with her, guilt for the things he knows he couldn't have stopped. He longs for her, for her to make her whole. For the way she makes him feel alive again. He longs to be able to hold her close and watch her sleep.
He walks through the door to find her waiting.
Fear.
He panics, loosing all of his plans, and thoughts thinking that he needs only one thing: to find safety. He knows of one place where he can find that, but does not know if he is welcome there any longer. But all the same it is where he needs to go.
He worries that it it is inaccesible, and barred from him. He is unable to devise a means of remmdying that. Unlike the status quoo, this problem cannot be approached from a neutral position and solved. He lacks any of his mental tools to deal with the problem.
He need to go home and see her.
He wonders if she knows of his indiscrstions and liason while he has been absent. Of how he has justified lower and lower levels of his principals until he has been left a shell of a shell. He feels guilt now, guilt for everything he has done wrong so far with her, guilt for the things he knows he couldn't have stopped. He longs for her, for her to make her whole. For the way she makes him feel alive again. He longs to be able to hold her close and watch her sleep.
He walks through the door to find her waiting.