In the Cards
Before I get into the main musings on this post, I have a petty mini rant. Kevin's birthday was Tuesday. His brother's family sent him a gift card to The Cheesecake Factory for $250. That's a very generous gift, but it rubbed me the wrong way. It felt thoughtless to me. We have a dozen restaurants within walking distance of us. Bob and Susan know this. These restaurants have websites they can order gift cards from. The nearest Cheesecake Factory is in White Plains. Yes, White Plains is one town over and if you look on a map, it seems easy to get to, but it doesn't factor in what a pain it is to go to White Plains. It is filled with shopping malls, corporate offices, and big box stores that keep it busy and full of traffic during the day. It is also full of bars and restaurants, which keep it busy and full of traffic at night. There is no free parking anywhere and parking enforcement is relentless. We avoid going there unless have to. Also, Kevin is lactose intolerant and hates cheesecake, so why send him to a place where that makes up 90% of the desserts? We're not going to spend $250 in one night, so we will have to keep going back. I feel like they didn't put much thought into the gift at all. Susan could have asked me what Kevin's favorite restaurant is and purchased a gift accordingly. Kevin says it's the thought that counts and appreciates the generosity of it, so I guess I'll shut up now.
Speaking of Kevin's family, we will not be seeing them for Thanksgiving. I am ordering my turkey at the farm market this weekend and Mom is thrilled we are joining her for dinner. We still don't know when we will see Kevin's family though. Susan made some vague suggestions about Christmas. I hope Kevin doesn't regret going to the wedding instead of going to Elle's birthday party this weekend.
Also, Mom got a new cat. Two weeks ago this cat wandered into the barn (or perhaps he was dumped), completely emaciated, but very friendly. Tara said she doesn't need any more barn cats and asked Mom if she would consider taking him. She couldn't resist. He is a beautiful solid gray male, not a kitten, but not very old (estimate he's 3 or 4). He was intact when he arrived, but Mom took him home earlier this week and had him neutered right away. He has settled in well as if he always lived with her. After his first night in hiding he started sleeping in her bed. We named him Asher as a pun on his coat color. He must have been abandoned. He's too friendly to be feral. Mom wanted to scan him for microchips, but the vet said an owner didn't bother to neuter him wouldn't bother to microchip him either.
My fear for him is that he will outlive Mom. She is 83. Her health is good, but he is young. Will he have a home his entire life? Kevin is adamant he doesn't want a cat.
So anyway, I'm doing a little fortune telling. Well, not really fortune telling. More like a thought exercise. It's funny that a skeptic like me would own a deck of tarot cards (and also a deck of "Inner Child Cards" that are like a kinder gentler version of tarot cards based on fairy tales and classic children's fiction) but I have always found them fascinating. I love the art. I am intrigued by the works of Jung and Campbell and the idea of tapping into the common threads of cultural myths.
I learned I am not the only skeptic out there who loves tarot. Many of us secularists love the way we can use them for meditation, storytelling, and even writing inspiration. For me they are a mental exercise. I like to lay out the cards and see if I can make them make sense. Often there is something to be learned about myself in how I decide to interpret the cards. They bring forth my own wisdom.
I often save tarot spreads and ideas on my Pin board. I found one a few months ago for a mid-year check in. The first five cards were meant to be more general regarding my position in life at the time, the people who will assist me, general actions to take, and what the tendencies would be for the year. The next six cards were the predictions, messages, and advice month by month.
It's fun to look at each card at the beginning of the month and get some advice on what to focus on and then look at each one at the end of the month and see how that card applied to what happened during the month.
What were they?
July, Two of Swords: This represents standing a crossroads and making decisions. By July I was recovering from my injuries. I started 2024 expecting a dull year. Did I want to continue a dull life, or did I want to make things happens? Should I audition for Tootsie, or retire from theater? That card felt relevant.
August, The Fool: This symbolizes walking headlong into a new situation. There is optimism here. I took the chance on Tootsie and was walking into a new adventure. This was relatable.
September, Five of Cups: This card shows disappointment without an ability to appreciate what you do have. September was a busy month with rehearsals and performances, so I don't think the card applied to that. However, I am somebody who is easily disappointed and I can be so wrapped up in one disappointment that I don't always see what's good around me. A good example of that is right at the beginning of this post. Rather than appreciate Kevin's family acting generously, I let myself be pissy that they didn't make more of an effort to give him something he really wanted instead of something generic and easy. The card is a reminder to myself to stop and smell the roses and not allow myself to let minutiae cloud my thinking. It's not only for September, but for always.
October, Page of Pentacles (Coins in my deck) : This is a card of diligence and hard work paying off. Pentacles represent money and earthly matters and Pages are messengers. This definitely describes my October. After having so many financial setbacks this year, I have had a few new money opportunities. I closed a consulting lead at work and I have two more leads in the works. I have the haunted house money coming in. I can finally start saving again.
November, The Lovers (Reversed): This one troubles me a bit. It is a card of disharmony. Something is off. I could read it as a sign of trouble in my marriage. Kevin and I spent the past two months spending very little time together given our respective plays and the haunted house. November is the time we have together. If I take the card completely at face value, I should use it as a reminder to make the most of this time with Kevin and not use our newfound free time in a wasteful way. I should avoid complaining about stupid stuff (like he was annoyed that I felt his birthday present was thoughtless - I need to keep my mouth shut sometimes). I should make sure both our needs are met.
I also should pay attention to other things in my life that seem unbalanced or out of whack. I should pay attention to all my relationships. I need to pay attention to my actions and consider all consequences. I need to use my upcoming free time wisely.
December, Six of Swords: This is the perfect card for the end of the year. It's a card of moving on, of healing, of the journey ahead. I think whatever lessons I learn in November will guide me well into the new year.