(no subject)
Almost 3 in the morning; I've been attempting to sleep since eleven and now I'm so sick and dizzy with tiredness it's distorting everything, the wooden chair inflates and deflates beneath me. Experiencing insomnia due to mind-flooding, hungriness and generally uninteresting anxieties. Finished a book, started a second, saw two eyes staring at me from the fold of a newspaper on my bedside table, belonging to saddam hussein, no less. His face is a nightmare in itself. So awful.
The worst part is; I have to be up in four hours time, to get physical and perform some expressionistic theatre. Then I'll sit in a cold library (until closing time) and cover a psychology module on 'individual differences'. Upon returning home, an hour of research methods and statistics. Then, perhaps, I'll let me sleep. However, eating may also have to be done at some point. Endless things to think about. Don't you find?
Around two hours ago, I went downstairs and found my mum reading a book. She suggested I 'breathe deeply, think happy thoughts'. I don't breathe well, but I'm worse at thinking of happy thoughts. I'm hardly filled with unhappy thoughts, but it seems rather that everything in my life has adopted a sort of neutrality, and I couldn't distinguish between bad and good. Wasn't it easier to be a child and think of meadows and blue skies, blankets of snow with pawprints, rain to contrast this warm bed?
The last thing I want to do is get ill a week before my exams, but sleep is impossible. I'll try it again. It'll be fine.
fine, fine, fine.
The worst part is; I have to be up in four hours time, to get physical and perform some expressionistic theatre. Then I'll sit in a cold library (until closing time) and cover a psychology module on 'individual differences'. Upon returning home, an hour of research methods and statistics. Then, perhaps, I'll let me sleep. However, eating may also have to be done at some point. Endless things to think about. Don't you find?
Around two hours ago, I went downstairs and found my mum reading a book. She suggested I 'breathe deeply, think happy thoughts'. I don't breathe well, but I'm worse at thinking of happy thoughts. I'm hardly filled with unhappy thoughts, but it seems rather that everything in my life has adopted a sort of neutrality, and I couldn't distinguish between bad and good. Wasn't it easier to be a child and think of meadows and blue skies, blankets of snow with pawprints, rain to contrast this warm bed?
The last thing I want to do is get ill a week before my exams, but sleep is impossible. I'll try it again. It'll be fine.
fine, fine, fine.