Day 3
I don't know how it is possible to be happy and sad at the same time. I'm tired of this rollercoaster ride that I am on, which I wasn't before. I can be completely happy, but the I can see or hear the wrong then, and BAM!, sad again. I feel like I'm never gonna be able to let someone close to me again. I've been hurt too many times by people close to me, and the part of me that screams at me not too is really hard to ignore now. I just wanna be an asshole, brush everyone off, and play it safe. Why care about people? I can see why good people become assholes now. Love. They decide being sensitive means getting hurt, and being nice means a lot of work, so they just quit. I don't wanna be like that, but at the moment, it's kinda hard to stop myself. Friends, have fun being around me when I get back to school, because I'm gonna be a blast to be around. Not.
I wanna call and talk to her, but it hurts to even think about it. I want to be friends, but don't know if I can go through that personal hell.
On a plus side, I watched Bill and Ted's Bogus Adventure today, which was awesomely bad. I also have had delicious meals every night of the week, ate food I don't usually eat, and with the exception of searing thoughts which race through my head, had a good break.
It's hard to care about anything when you feel no one cares about you. (Yes, I know my friends do, but it's different.)
I wanna stop posting this shit, but I gotta get these thoughts out somewhere. Maybe in a few months I can look at this and see where I went wrong, or at least learn from it.
I wanna call and talk to her, but it hurts to even think about it. I want to be friends, but don't know if I can go through that personal hell.
On a plus side, I watched Bill and Ted's Bogus Adventure today, which was awesomely bad. I also have had delicious meals every night of the week, ate food I don't usually eat, and with the exception of searing thoughts which race through my head, had a good break.
It's hard to care about anything when you feel no one cares about you. (Yes, I know my friends do, but it's different.)
I wanna stop posting this shit, but I gotta get these thoughts out somewhere. Maybe in a few months I can look at this and see where I went wrong, or at least learn from it.