Good job not giving in to addiction. Even if everything is falling apart around you, the inner vessel is clean and capable of handling more without the extra load. I have NO idea what is really going on in your life or your head besides from the brief stuff I squander from these lj posts, but I am a few states away and fairly naive when it comes to such things, so you are probably better off. I know you got this, you were never meant to be normal. Its not in your nature. You are going to do much good.
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