is it mood swing again or i really can't take it anymore?!
it's almost 10years... and i should already be used to it...? should i be? or should i still try to go against it and be just normal... trying to ignore the exiting fact? i don't know... i really don't know...
when ever i tried to treat everything just like what an ordinary person should...i will once in a while hit onto the wall... as age gain the number of hits seems to increase... i will always try with all my strength to bang my way through the wall but the number of injuries increase and healing time lengthens...
now i think i'm really tired and it's really getting too painful for me.....when i see those walls again i don't want to get through it anymore.... i just want to sit in front and stare at it... which i really hate... i'm like showing to other that i'm a loser... why?
i know life is unfair but i hate to admit it...
the society shows even more of this unfairness and i got to face it and i hate it...
i'm thinking is it me or is it my disability?
i know i should blame on my disability but because of it many doors are locked for me...
i'm not those with great and impressive gardes... i'm just normal/average... the numbers of unlocked doors still seems a little difficult for me... why... i really feel that i'm tired...
not that i like to compare or what... sometimes i look at those who do not have my disability but have lower standards that i do but able to get through those doors that i like to get through... i really don't know how ot put how i feel in words... but i feeling really horrible now...
why am i not given the chance??
why am i having this disability?
i'm living through a life i never thought that i will now...
this is not my life
when ever i tried to treat everything just like what an ordinary person should...i will once in a while hit onto the wall... as age gain the number of hits seems to increase... i will always try with all my strength to bang my way through the wall but the number of injuries increase and healing time lengthens...
now i think i'm really tired and it's really getting too painful for me.....when i see those walls again i don't want to get through it anymore.... i just want to sit in front and stare at it... which i really hate... i'm like showing to other that i'm a loser... why?
i know life is unfair but i hate to admit it...
the society shows even more of this unfairness and i got to face it and i hate it...
i'm thinking is it me or is it my disability?
i know i should blame on my disability but because of it many doors are locked for me...
i'm not those with great and impressive gardes... i'm just normal/average... the numbers of unlocked doors still seems a little difficult for me... why... i really feel that i'm tired...
not that i like to compare or what... sometimes i look at those who do not have my disability but have lower standards that i do but able to get through those doors that i like to get through... i really don't know how ot put how i feel in words... but i feeling really horrible now...
why am i not given the chance??
why am i having this disability?
i'm living through a life i never thought that i will now...
this is not my life