I bet you thought i was dead
but im not. i have not updated in a long while so i figered i mieeght. i dont know why either. i suppose i just felt like it after having one of them wild nights where you go for a chase through the hills pulled over by four cops pulled outta the car at gun point and are searched on the sidewalk THOROUGHLY. you know, my average saturday evening. i love not working saturday or friday nights anymore. its so gratifying. and i was by courtneys today helping someone move a bed and i saw someone that i grew up with but have not seen in so many years. and i had been in there house. and i remembered the smells the green seventies carpet. and where my first kiss took place. and then i jumped on that same trampoline which is kinda rusted now but i can still go as high. hmm i hadnt had one of those memories for a long time and i really enjoyed re-experiencing it. sometimes i wish i were an innocent younger boy again. but my mind being as it is i cannot fathom not knowing what i do. and i say younger boy meaning i dont believe a boy is truly a man until he has a family and supports them. and quite frankly i dont look like a man. so for now i shall be man boy. cause anyone who is around me knows im not really either. i dont wanna update anymore although i have so much to say. i just feel this has been long enough.