Yesterday, northbard posted a link to an article in his LJ, and asked for peoples opinions on it. I had too many, so I decided to give it some thought here
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On your last paragraph, it is a different use of the word "oppressor" ... think of it more like, "complicit person in maintaining the status quo, who also is nearly least opressed by the status quo".... as we all know, the majority of people in a society, often up to and including the oppressed, are usually complicit in maintaining a status quo, pretty much by definition.
I think one of the only ways to really understand the experience of people of colour in North America (and keep in mind a lot of the articles are written in the US where they are, well, culturally different about such things than we are here) is to take the approach that men are encouraged to take regarding sexism: create some non-judgemental space, ask someone you know well (or not so well) and then sit down, listen as hard as you can, and try and understand where the other person is coming from.
While I'm not certain what all the advantages I see in being a young white woman are, I know I don't know - why? Because I know I haven't talked to a reasonable sample size of friends (or just plain people) from other places with other skin colours to be able to form an useful, complete opinion on the subject. Just like you, I muddle along as best I can.
Armchair philosophy about what it must be like to be someone else is never as good as just asking them and listening to what they say.
I know when I have spoken with a few people, notably a friend of mine who is Spanish, I've been pretty appalled by some of their stories. Sometimes I have wondered if people really do those things because she is dark skinned, or is it perceived that is the reason... which in turn makes me realize that a) I'm sure times I've felt persecuted for being female when I probably wasn't, b) I'm lucky to not have to worry about being judged on my race (as often) and c) things for her are probably worse than I think.
I don't know how to not be complicit with being white and perhaps treated better. As I said, what is one supposed to do to fix that? I would think of it as complicit if it was conscious. "This guy is only giving me this deal because I'm white" and then still buying from that guy would be complicit. But how can one know when someone is doing that unless they make it clear in some way? I've have been in situations similar to that, and in those (rare) cases I made my mind known. But usually people do those things subtly or without stating their reasons. I don't think you can call someone complicit when they don't even know that they just got some sort of whitie bonus.
I think one of the only ways to really understand the experience of people of colour in North America (and keep in mind a lot of the articles are written in the US where they are, well, culturally different about such things than we are here) is to take the approach that men are encouraged to take regarding sexism: create some non-judgemental space, ask someone you know well (or not so well) and then sit down, listen as hard as you can, and try and understand where the other person is coming from.
While I'm not certain what all the advantages I see in being a young white woman are, I know I don't know - why? Because I know I haven't talked to a reasonable sample size of friends (or just plain people) from other places with other skin colours to be able to form an useful, complete opinion on the subject. Just like you, I muddle along as best I can.
Armchair philosophy about what it must be like to be someone else is never as good as just asking them and listening to what they say.
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I don't know how to not be complicit with being white and perhaps treated better. As I said, what is one supposed to do to fix that? I would think of it as complicit if it was conscious. "This guy is only giving me this deal because I'm white" and then still buying from that guy would be complicit. But how can one know when someone is doing that unless they make it clear in some way? I've have been in situations similar to that, and in those (rare) cases I made my mind known. But usually people do those things subtly or without stating their reasons. I don't think you can call someone complicit when they don't even know that they just got some sort of whitie bonus.
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