Bullying and AS
Need to vent here. Son told me a few days ago that some of the boys in his troop were picking on him and asking him if he was gay.
Right, so while I personally find nothing "wrong" with homosexuals at all, I DO find lots wrong when my son's fellow boy scouts ask him repeatedly if he's gay.
It's just 2 of the boys who happen to be brothers who are doing the bullying. The younger one who is my son's age is the boy who continually punched his arm last year when the cubs were cleaning up one of the local parks.
A few months ago, Conal spent an entire day at camp with the boy scouts, before he crossed over, as it's a requirement to do so. When I went to pick him up, he was sitting around the fire chatting with some of the older boys. He said he had a great time and wanted to stay overnight but couldn't (per regs). Two weeks ago a friend of mine mentioned to me that one of the adult leaders made a comment about "you can tell Conal's homeschooled" because he wouldn't join in right away with what the other boys were doing. Friend went on to let the leader know that that particular behavior is likely due to Conal's Asperger's rather than his being homeschooled. This leader has been a good friend of mine from when Conal started scouts about 4-5 years ago. He's a great guy, a real get-things-done sort. I was actually surprised that he didn't mention it to me because I thought we had that level of friendship. Well, as many of you know, I've been ill for the past month or so with a cold/congestion/cough/etc., lost my voice for the past 2 weeks. I printed some information out for the adult leader and passed it along to him at last week's meeting. I'd've spoken to him, but the voice, being what it is, I didn't think it would come across well. Here's an excerpt of what I handed to him.
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In young children, the symptoms of AS typically include problems picking up social cues and understanding the basics of interacting with other children. The child may want friendships but find him- or herself unable to make friends.
Most children with Asperger's are diagnosed during the elementary school years because the symptoms of the disorder become more apparent at this point. They include:
Poor pragmatic language skills. This phrase means that the child does not use the right tone or volume of voice for a specific context, and does not understand that using humorous or slang expressions also depends on social context.
Problems with hand-eye coordination and other visual skills.
Problems making eye contact with others.
Learning difficulties, which may range from mild to severe.
Tendency to become absorbed in a particular topic and not know when others are bored with conversation about it. At this stage in their education, children with AS are likely to be labeled as "nerds." (Currently, Conal is “into” robots, designing and building, and spaceships.))
Repetitive behaviors. These include such behaviors as counting a group of coins or marbles over and over; reciting the same song or poem several times; buttoning and unbuttoning a jacket repeatedly; etc.
Adolescence is one of the most painful periods of life for young people with Asperger's, because social interactions are more complex in this age group and require more subtle social skills. ((This is why you see him having some difficulty in that area)) Some boys with AS become frustrated trying to relate to their peers and may become aggressive. Both boys and girls with the disorder are often quite naive for their age and easily manipulated by "street-wise" classmates. They are also more vulnerable than most youngsters to peer pressure. ((So please watch how the other boys are treating him. He’s very honorable, he would rather be picked on than fight as he sees fighting as dishonorable))
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Not only can his behavior be due to Asperger's, but hubby Mark is more of an observer type. He'll watch and listen to a group first before he gets involved or opens up. Conal also relates better to people who are older than he perhaps because of his vocabulary. *shrug* I don't know, maybe I'm making too much of this?
Right, so while I personally find nothing "wrong" with homosexuals at all, I DO find lots wrong when my son's fellow boy scouts ask him repeatedly if he's gay.
It's just 2 of the boys who happen to be brothers who are doing the bullying. The younger one who is my son's age is the boy who continually punched his arm last year when the cubs were cleaning up one of the local parks.
A few months ago, Conal spent an entire day at camp with the boy scouts, before he crossed over, as it's a requirement to do so. When I went to pick him up, he was sitting around the fire chatting with some of the older boys. He said he had a great time and wanted to stay overnight but couldn't (per regs). Two weeks ago a friend of mine mentioned to me that one of the adult leaders made a comment about "you can tell Conal's homeschooled" because he wouldn't join in right away with what the other boys were doing. Friend went on to let the leader know that that particular behavior is likely due to Conal's Asperger's rather than his being homeschooled. This leader has been a good friend of mine from when Conal started scouts about 4-5 years ago. He's a great guy, a real get-things-done sort. I was actually surprised that he didn't mention it to me because I thought we had that level of friendship. Well, as many of you know, I've been ill for the past month or so with a cold/congestion/cough/etc., lost my voice for the past 2 weeks. I printed some information out for the adult leader and passed it along to him at last week's meeting. I'd've spoken to him, but the voice, being what it is, I didn't think it would come across well. Here's an excerpt of what I handed to him.
-------
In young children, the symptoms of AS typically include problems picking up social cues and understanding the basics of interacting with other children. The child may want friendships but find him- or herself unable to make friends.
Most children with Asperger's are diagnosed during the elementary school years because the symptoms of the disorder become more apparent at this point. They include:
Poor pragmatic language skills. This phrase means that the child does not use the right tone or volume of voice for a specific context, and does not understand that using humorous or slang expressions also depends on social context.
Problems with hand-eye coordination and other visual skills.
Problems making eye contact with others.
Learning difficulties, which may range from mild to severe.
Tendency to become absorbed in a particular topic and not know when others are bored with conversation about it. At this stage in their education, children with AS are likely to be labeled as "nerds." (Currently, Conal is “into” robots, designing and building, and spaceships.))
Repetitive behaviors. These include such behaviors as counting a group of coins or marbles over and over; reciting the same song or poem several times; buttoning and unbuttoning a jacket repeatedly; etc.
Adolescence is one of the most painful periods of life for young people with Asperger's, because social interactions are more complex in this age group and require more subtle social skills. ((This is why you see him having some difficulty in that area)) Some boys with AS become frustrated trying to relate to their peers and may become aggressive. Both boys and girls with the disorder are often quite naive for their age and easily manipulated by "street-wise" classmates. They are also more vulnerable than most youngsters to peer pressure. ((So please watch how the other boys are treating him. He’s very honorable, he would rather be picked on than fight as he sees fighting as dishonorable))
---------------
Not only can his behavior be due to Asperger's, but hubby Mark is more of an observer type. He'll watch and listen to a group first before he gets involved or opens up. Conal also relates better to people who are older than he perhaps because of his vocabulary. *shrug* I don't know, maybe I'm making too much of this?