(no subject)
i am devastated.
i don't know what happened.
this morning i cried because i miss her even though she was downstairs in my living room.
why would she say those things to me?
how could the past 6 years be just that?
after a *string of uncomfortable silences and hurt feelings this week, i am left feeling hollow. am i interesting enough? am i not interested enough? am i not kind or smart or engaging or giving enough? is this all. my. fault?
brody said to me this morning that i am the only person he knows that would make excuses for unkind things that people do. do i believe that?
my heart is suffering a great deal and i feel as if it may explode.
*i say that these things are uncommon for me, but today i wonder maybe there is an unavoidable amount that one must endure in a lifetime. and it just happens that other people have many more than the norm.
i don't know what happened.
this morning i cried because i miss her even though she was downstairs in my living room.
why would she say those things to me?
how could the past 6 years be just that?
after a *string of uncomfortable silences and hurt feelings this week, i am left feeling hollow. am i interesting enough? am i not interested enough? am i not kind or smart or engaging or giving enough? is this all. my. fault?
brody said to me this morning that i am the only person he knows that would make excuses for unkind things that people do. do i believe that?
my heart is suffering a great deal and i feel as if it may explode.
*i say that these things are uncommon for me, but today i wonder maybe there is an unavoidable amount that one must endure in a lifetime. and it just happens that other people have many more than the norm.