My Other Half- The ending (jim/pam) PG-13
Title: My other half- part five
Author: speedbumpsal
Pairing/Character: Pam and Jim
Word Count: 2197
Rating: PG-13
Summary: A tragedy makes relationships change... part five
Spoilers: Through Cocktails
Author's Notes: first time... let me know if you want more.
Jim clicked the door shut behind him, re-entering the room.
He stood at the foot of Pam’s bed, dizzy, staring at her. He was sweating slightly, and breathing hard. He had never felt so nauseous, worried, anxious, and scared…. Ever.
Pam continued to look at him, as if she couldn’t believe what she had said either. She didn’t say a word, just looked at him.
For exactly half a minute, they looked at each other, neither believing what was just said, never breaking eye contact.
“I… I um…” Jim griped the metal bar at the end of her bed, hard. “Pam?” He swallowed, looking hopeless.
Pam moved slightly in her bed, as if to become more comfortable. She stared, mouth open, at Jim.
“I broke it off.” she said again… this time leaving out the most important part.
“I already knew that, Pam… what did you say after that?”
Pam looked nauseous. “Nothing. I said nothing after that. You were leaving, and I said ‘I broke off the wedding’, and I just stopped talking, and that’s when you came back in.” she had broken their eye contact, and was now nervously playing with the lid from the yogurt Jim had given her. “Remember when I made medals out of these for the office Olympics?” She held it up for him to see, desperate.
Jim didn’t budge. “Pam… Did you have feelings for me? I mean….” He walked rounded the bed, closer to her, still standing. “That’s what you said”
Pam knew this was wrong. She was not the kind of girl to try and steal another woman’s boyfriend. She had some rough patches with Karen, but all in all thought she was a good person. She didn’t want to hurt a good person.
“Jim… I shouldn’t have said anything. You are with Karen, and I think that we should just…”
“No, no I’m not.” Jim sputtered out, interrupting her. He was by her side in a few short steps, and took her hand in his, a pleading look in his eyes, which were on the verge of tears. “Pam, we broke up.”
“Oh, Jim. I’m sorry.”
“Stop. Stop it.” Jim pressed her hand along with his own to his forehead, crouching beside her, and looking down. “You told me that you wished that you could be more outspoken, and now is your chance.” He looked up at her, face wet from the tears he had shed while looking away from her. His voice cracked. “If not for yourself, Pam, do it for me, Pam, please. I can’t…. I can’t keep wondering.“ He shook his head and looked away. “I’m sorry. Maybe I have no place to ask you to do that. I’m… I’m sorry.” he let go of her hand, and sat beside her, head and hands. His shoulders shook as he cried silently.
Pam looked on helplessly. She had never seen him like this before. She hated it.
He wasn’t with Karen.
Then why was she hesitating? She realized that more than anything, she was afraid. What if this obsession, this want, and undeniable love, turned out to be nothing more than a crush? If it failed, she would have left the man she was going to marry for nothing. She looked at the top of Jim’s head…She would lost her best friend… for nothing.
She felt the back of her head where the bandages still lie, and at her surroundings. She had almost died. She almost died never knowing him. Not really. She shook her head. She was so scared.
And cleared her throat.
“The night that you kissed me, I felt horrible.”
Jim looked up at her, surprised by her voiced, and confused at her comment. But he said nothing, he just listened.
Pam coughed again.
“I’m not the kind of girl that cheat’s, Jim. That’s not me. I owed Roy more than that, even if things had been bad between him and I, I owed him for his devotion…” she closed her eyes. She had no idea where this was going. She just let it all out…
“But Jim, when I told Roy about that night, and how you told me how you felt, and about our kiss, I told him that I kissed back, because I felt the same way. It wasn’t until later that I realized what I had said. You told me you loved me, Jim.”
Pam began to cry. Jim stayed still, staring at her, dumbfounded.
“It killed me, Jim! I broke off the wedding, I left Roy. I wanted you. And you just LEFT! You went away. I remember texting you one night. I fell asleep with my phone, waiting for a reply. And when you come home, when you finally come back, SHE’S with you!?” Pam had no idea that she had these feelings toward Jim, but she needed to let it all out. She was speaking her mind, for once.
“How could you do that to me? Tell me you love me, and want me, when you KNEW I couldn’t. And when I could, when I left everything for you…. you leave, and find someone else!? How… How could I think you were serious when you said those words? I’ve given up, Jim. I’m tired. I love you, and I’m tired.”
She didn’t look at him. She couldn’t. But after a long silence, he spoke.
“I didn’t know. If.. If I had known that you felt the same. God, Pam. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I love you.” he paused, thinking. “You love me.” he whispered.
Pam looked at him, wiping away her tears, and nodded. She sat up slowly, and reached for him, grabbing him by his collar. And pulled him, very slowly towards her, not breaking eye contact. She stopped when he was fractions of an inch away, and could feel his breath mingle with her own. He met her the rest of the way, and kissed her, softly and unsure, as if this wasn’t what she had meant by pulling him towards her. He relaxed and closed his eyes as Pam weaved her left hand through his hair and pressed him into her, intensifying the kiss. She felt jims hands slide under her, and support her back, pressing her to him. She couldn’t feel her legs. Her entire torso felt like it would burst, and she felt the need to melt into him. Together they were happier at that moment, than any two people on the planet… or at least, that’s how it felt. Pam could actually feel Jim smile a bit as he kissed her. Jim raised a hand, to cup the back of her neck, but instead, hit her bandage, making her moan, and breaking her kiss.
“Oh, God!” Jim, blushed and looked worried all at once.
“It’s ok!” she laughed. “I’m fine.” He leaned towards her, for another kiss. “Jim…” she stopped him, pulling back. He panicked. This was a bit familiar, he prayed she didn’t regret what just happened. “Roy he… I don’t want you hurt again, maybe I should tell him…”
“Pam… you are worth it. Whatever happens, you are worth it.”
She looked at him, seriously. “You too, Jim.”
She cupped his face in her hands an pressed her forehead to his. “Jim, I’m sorry I didn’t speak up. I know that if I had, that none of this…”
He stopped her
“Pam,” he laughed, “It’s ok. Just… just shut up.”
He kissed her again.
And again,
and again.
FIN
Author: speedbumpsal
Pairing/Character: Pam and Jim
Word Count: 2197
Rating: PG-13
Summary: A tragedy makes relationships change... part five
Spoilers: Through Cocktails
Author's Notes: first time... let me know if you want more.
Jim clicked the door shut behind him, re-entering the room.
He stood at the foot of Pam’s bed, dizzy, staring at her. He was sweating slightly, and breathing hard. He had never felt so nauseous, worried, anxious, and scared…. Ever.
Pam continued to look at him, as if she couldn’t believe what she had said either. She didn’t say a word, just looked at him.
For exactly half a minute, they looked at each other, neither believing what was just said, never breaking eye contact.
“I… I um…” Jim griped the metal bar at the end of her bed, hard. “Pam?” He swallowed, looking hopeless.
Pam moved slightly in her bed, as if to become more comfortable. She stared, mouth open, at Jim.
“I broke it off.” she said again… this time leaving out the most important part.
“I already knew that, Pam… what did you say after that?”
Pam looked nauseous. “Nothing. I said nothing after that. You were leaving, and I said ‘I broke off the wedding’, and I just stopped talking, and that’s when you came back in.” she had broken their eye contact, and was now nervously playing with the lid from the yogurt Jim had given her. “Remember when I made medals out of these for the office Olympics?” She held it up for him to see, desperate.
Jim didn’t budge. “Pam… Did you have feelings for me? I mean….” He walked rounded the bed, closer to her, still standing. “That’s what you said”
Pam knew this was wrong. She was not the kind of girl to try and steal another woman’s boyfriend. She had some rough patches with Karen, but all in all thought she was a good person. She didn’t want to hurt a good person.
“Jim… I shouldn’t have said anything. You are with Karen, and I think that we should just…”
“No, no I’m not.” Jim sputtered out, interrupting her. He was by her side in a few short steps, and took her hand in his, a pleading look in his eyes, which were on the verge of tears. “Pam, we broke up.”
“Oh, Jim. I’m sorry.”
“Stop. Stop it.” Jim pressed her hand along with his own to his forehead, crouching beside her, and looking down. “You told me that you wished that you could be more outspoken, and now is your chance.” He looked up at her, face wet from the tears he had shed while looking away from her. His voice cracked. “If not for yourself, Pam, do it for me, Pam, please. I can’t…. I can’t keep wondering.“ He shook his head and looked away. “I’m sorry. Maybe I have no place to ask you to do that. I’m… I’m sorry.” he let go of her hand, and sat beside her, head and hands. His shoulders shook as he cried silently.
Pam looked on helplessly. She had never seen him like this before. She hated it.
He wasn’t with Karen.
Then why was she hesitating? She realized that more than anything, she was afraid. What if this obsession, this want, and undeniable love, turned out to be nothing more than a crush? If it failed, she would have left the man she was going to marry for nothing. She looked at the top of Jim’s head…She would lost her best friend… for nothing.
She felt the back of her head where the bandages still lie, and at her surroundings. She had almost died. She almost died never knowing him. Not really. She shook her head. She was so scared.
And cleared her throat.
“The night that you kissed me, I felt horrible.”
Jim looked up at her, surprised by her voiced, and confused at her comment. But he said nothing, he just listened.
Pam coughed again.
“I’m not the kind of girl that cheat’s, Jim. That’s not me. I owed Roy more than that, even if things had been bad between him and I, I owed him for his devotion…” she closed her eyes. She had no idea where this was going. She just let it all out…
“But Jim, when I told Roy about that night, and how you told me how you felt, and about our kiss, I told him that I kissed back, because I felt the same way. It wasn’t until later that I realized what I had said. You told me you loved me, Jim.”
Pam began to cry. Jim stayed still, staring at her, dumbfounded.
“It killed me, Jim! I broke off the wedding, I left Roy. I wanted you. And you just LEFT! You went away. I remember texting you one night. I fell asleep with my phone, waiting for a reply. And when you come home, when you finally come back, SHE’S with you!?” Pam had no idea that she had these feelings toward Jim, but she needed to let it all out. She was speaking her mind, for once.
“How could you do that to me? Tell me you love me, and want me, when you KNEW I couldn’t. And when I could, when I left everything for you…. you leave, and find someone else!? How… How could I think you were serious when you said those words? I’ve given up, Jim. I’m tired. I love you, and I’m tired.”
She didn’t look at him. She couldn’t. But after a long silence, he spoke.
“I didn’t know. If.. If I had known that you felt the same. God, Pam. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I love you.” he paused, thinking. “You love me.” he whispered.
Pam looked at him, wiping away her tears, and nodded. She sat up slowly, and reached for him, grabbing him by his collar. And pulled him, very slowly towards her, not breaking eye contact. She stopped when he was fractions of an inch away, and could feel his breath mingle with her own. He met her the rest of the way, and kissed her, softly and unsure, as if this wasn’t what she had meant by pulling him towards her. He relaxed and closed his eyes as Pam weaved her left hand through his hair and pressed him into her, intensifying the kiss. She felt jims hands slide under her, and support her back, pressing her to him. She couldn’t feel her legs. Her entire torso felt like it would burst, and she felt the need to melt into him. Together they were happier at that moment, than any two people on the planet… or at least, that’s how it felt. Pam could actually feel Jim smile a bit as he kissed her. Jim raised a hand, to cup the back of her neck, but instead, hit her bandage, making her moan, and breaking her kiss.
“Oh, God!” Jim, blushed and looked worried all at once.
“It’s ok!” she laughed. “I’m fine.” He leaned towards her, for another kiss. “Jim…” she stopped him, pulling back. He panicked. This was a bit familiar, he prayed she didn’t regret what just happened. “Roy he… I don’t want you hurt again, maybe I should tell him…”
“Pam… you are worth it. Whatever happens, you are worth it.”
She looked at him, seriously. “You too, Jim.”
She cupped his face in her hands an pressed her forehead to his. “Jim, I’m sorry I didn’t speak up. I know that if I had, that none of this…”
He stopped her
“Pam,” he laughed, “It’s ok. Just… just shut up.”
He kissed her again.
And again,
and again.
FIN