The Phone Game (Jim/Pam, Dwight, Michael, Toby); PG
Title: The Phone Game
Author: classicwolf
Pairing/Character: Jim/Pam, Dwight, Toby, Michael
Word Count: 622
Rating: PG
Summary: Jim and Pam play a prank on Dwight, fun ensues.
Spoilers: Inspired by “Conflict Resolution”
Warnings: These are not my toys, I promise to put them back when I’m done.
Author's Notes: This is my very first fanfic, so please don’t be too harsh, but feedback is very appreciated. Thanks.
“Dwight, what is the proper way to skin a squirrel?” Pam asked across the room.
“Although you have shown little interest in the art of skinning, I will give you a brief overview.” Dwight replied, looking up from his monitor and walking over to the reception desk where Pam sat, as usual.
As Dwight left his desk to go properly demonstrate the skinning of a squirrel, Jim snuck over to Dwight’s phone. Prying it open with his fingertips, he poured nickels out of the phone and into the palm of his hand. He swung back into his chair just as Dwight returned to his desk.
“I’ll be right back.” Jim said, standing up as Dwight sat down. Jim walked over to reception and began talking with Pam. As they chatted lightly, Dwight looked over in disparagement and scoffed at the pair. As he returned his attention to his work, Pam picked up her phone and punched in five digits.
Dwight’s phone started ringing and the well-trained Schrute picked it up. After having gotten accustomed to the weight, he was now thrown and smashed the phone straight into the side of his head.
Pam hung up the phone as Dwight rubbed his head before looking accusingly at the seemingly innocent Jim Halpert.
“God damn it Jim!” He yelled angrily. “I don’t know how you did it, but I am 95 percent sure you are involved.” He said before storming over to Michael’s door. He furiously pounded his knuckles on the door.
“What is it Dwight?” Michael said, extremely annoyed that Dwight was yet again interrupting his playtime.
“I am informing you that Dwight K. Schrute has be assaulted by his phone and Jim Halpert is responsible.” Dwight informed Michael, helpfully.
“Go away, Dwight.” Michael told him. Dwight glanced at Jim before glaring.
“This is unfortunate for you, Jim Halpert.” Dwight told Jim, sneering and walking over to Toby’s desk. “I will now have to file a complaint in human resources and you will be fired.” Pam and Jim exchanged surprised and amused glances. Pam mouthed ‘wow’.
“Toby, as much as Michael despises you and the fact I find you inferior, I must ask you to file a complaint against a certain Jim Halpert.” Dwight explained, looking around suspiciously.
“Dwight, I-” Toby began before being cut off by Dwight.
“Thank you. My complaint: Dwight K. Schrute has be assaulted by his phone and Jim Halpert is responsible. Suggestion: fire him! I trust you will send this to corporate.” Dwight said, standing up.
“Goodbye…” Toby managed to get out before being abandoned. The sole human resources employee returned his miserable gaze back to the screen.
“Say your prayers, Jim.” Dwight said with glee upon returning and swiveling menacingly in his chair.
“Okay.” Was the reply.
“You must be absolutely terrified, aren’t you, Halpert?” He continued to swivel in his chair for what seemed like an obnoxious eternity.
“Not really.” Jim said, still focusing on Pam.
“And why not?”
Jim was unable to reply because Pam spoke up with interesting news.
“Jim, my friend is celebrating her birthday on a cruise ship and Roy can’t go. Want to come along?” She asked with a smile.
“Sure.” Jim said, happy.
“It’s tonight. Sorry for the late notice.” Pam explained, blushing just the tiniest bit.
“That’s fine. Let me get my stuff.”
“Great! Meet me at my car in 5?”
“Uh huh.” Jim said as Pam left the office. As he started to gather his things, Dwight spoke up again.
“Jim, you are going to be so sorry you messed with a Lackawanna County Volunteer Sheriff’s Deputy.”
“I don’t think so, Dwight.” Jim said walking out for an evening with Pam while Dwight fumed in his office chair.