Molotov’s Bread Basket
So, The Boy was charged with going through his mum’s kitchen cupboards and disposing of anything out of date. While I wasn’t surprised by the concept if this, I was horrified when he sent me pictures of what was being thrown out. A lot of the food in question only has a date because it is a legal requirement.
When I informed The Boy of this, he said that I was welcome to save whatever I liked from the black bag.
Brilliant, free food! I’ll take anything that is out of date but still edible!
Turns out that The Boy didn’t know this, so he just brought everything.
Yesterday I became the proud owner of:
2 jars of honey
1 bottle of agave syrup
2 bottles of golden syrup
1 jar of Paprika
1 jar of Ground ginger
2 tins of chestnut puree
3 tins of coconut milk
3 packets of whole chestnuts
3 unopened bottles of Caesar dressing
2 unopened bottles of Thousand Island dressing
3 bottles of chilli sauce
2 packets of creamed coconut
1 pot of breadcrumbs
1 bottle of red wine vinegar
1 bottle of white wine vinegar
1 bottle of stir fry oil
1 bottle of Grapeseed oil
1 jar of plum sauce
1 bottle of sesame oil
2 sweet and sour jar sauce
1 bottle of olive oil
2 jars of pickled gherkins
1 jar of pickled capers
1 jar of olives
2 jars of Dijon mustard
1 jar of hollandaise
1 jar of mint sauce
1 jar of Ovaltine (Yuck)
1 jar of pickled ginger
A box of instant cappuccino sachets
1 jar of quince jelly
2 jars of pickled chillies (One of these has no date, I’m assuming its Neolithic)
1 bottle of bbq sauce
1 bag of flour
7 jars of misc. of spices
2 bottles of piri piri sauce
1 bottle of soy
1 bottle of sweet soy
1 bottle of Maggi Seasoning
4 jars of jam/marmalade
2 bags of dried wild mushrooms
1 jar of cranberry sauce
1 jar of garlic mayonnaise
1 pot of bouillon dust
1 pot of veggie stock
1 pot of ghee (Now lovingly referred to as ‘Dark Butter’ because of the density)
1 bottle of wasabi
1 tube of sundried tomato puree
1 bottle of hazelnut oil
1 bottle of mustard oil
3 tiny vials of expensive looking ‘dressing’
1 bottle of rice vinegar
1 bottle of Lingonberry vinegar (seriously)
1 pot of sliced Thai galangal (I have no idea what this is. It looks like dead skin)
1 bottle of chilli dipping oil
1 pot of chocolate frosting
1 box of instant minestrone soup
1 pot of peanuts
1 carrier bag full of food colouring and flavourings
That’s quite a list! You may notice that almost none of these things are actually food; most are things you put with food.
In other words I now have a kitchen full of expired condiments, which I will have to systematically sniff or taste to determine their fitness for eating.
If I die, tell the press that my last words were really witty. Something about salmon mousse would seem appropriate.
~T
When I informed The Boy of this, he said that I was welcome to save whatever I liked from the black bag.
Brilliant, free food! I’ll take anything that is out of date but still edible!
Turns out that The Boy didn’t know this, so he just brought everything.
Yesterday I became the proud owner of:
2 jars of honey
1 bottle of agave syrup
2 bottles of golden syrup
1 jar of Paprika
1 jar of Ground ginger
2 tins of chestnut puree
3 tins of coconut milk
3 packets of whole chestnuts
3 unopened bottles of Caesar dressing
2 unopened bottles of Thousand Island dressing
3 bottles of chilli sauce
2 packets of creamed coconut
1 pot of breadcrumbs
1 bottle of red wine vinegar
1 bottle of white wine vinegar
1 bottle of stir fry oil
1 bottle of Grapeseed oil
1 jar of plum sauce
1 bottle of sesame oil
2 sweet and sour jar sauce
1 bottle of olive oil
2 jars of pickled gherkins
1 jar of pickled capers
1 jar of olives
2 jars of Dijon mustard
1 jar of hollandaise
1 jar of mint sauce
1 jar of Ovaltine (Yuck)
1 jar of pickled ginger
A box of instant cappuccino sachets
1 jar of quince jelly
2 jars of pickled chillies (One of these has no date, I’m assuming its Neolithic)
1 bottle of bbq sauce
1 bag of flour
7 jars of misc. of spices
2 bottles of piri piri sauce
1 bottle of soy
1 bottle of sweet soy
1 bottle of Maggi Seasoning
4 jars of jam/marmalade
2 bags of dried wild mushrooms
1 jar of cranberry sauce
1 jar of garlic mayonnaise
1 pot of bouillon dust
1 pot of veggie stock
1 pot of ghee (Now lovingly referred to as ‘Dark Butter’ because of the density)
1 bottle of wasabi
1 tube of sundried tomato puree
1 bottle of hazelnut oil
1 bottle of mustard oil
3 tiny vials of expensive looking ‘dressing’
1 bottle of rice vinegar
1 bottle of Lingonberry vinegar (seriously)
1 pot of sliced Thai galangal (I have no idea what this is. It looks like dead skin)
1 bottle of chilli dipping oil
1 pot of chocolate frosting
1 box of instant minestrone soup
1 pot of peanuts
1 carrier bag full of food colouring and flavourings
That’s quite a list! You may notice that almost none of these things are actually food; most are things you put with food.
In other words I now have a kitchen full of expired condiments, which I will have to systematically sniff or taste to determine their fitness for eating.
If I die, tell the press that my last words were really witty. Something about salmon mousse would seem appropriate.
~T