yesterday, my friend died.
It's eerie, because there are so many similarities. The main difference is that both of them now exist on two different planes of existence. [for once, writing from the first person POV]
It's getting on my nerves.
Death has always been a touchy subject. As long as I vaguely know the deceased, nothing can stop me from playing the thoughts over and over in my head.
Maybe it's another way of coming to terms with the death. To keep facing the music until you tire of it.
But really... can anyone get tired of death?
--------------------
When I shedded tears at his wake, I wasn't sure of the reason.
Saddened by his death, but the bond of friendship was never that strong to warrant a continuous stream of intense emotions.
Perhaps, it was regret.
No, I don't quite regret having not taken the time to get to know him better. I suppose that, if things didn't turn out the way they were, I would still know him as the jovial smoker who occasionally spouted sarcastic statements in a stand-up comedic fashion.
I suppose it was regret that he could have the potential to accomplish more in his youth.
To die, without saying goodbye, is worse than death itself. If the soul could feel any sense of pain, then this must be beyond any scale of torture.
There is no form of preparation. Death is swift and sudden; it attacks you and drops you to another realm, isolating you from the world that you know.
Of course, there is great empathy/sympathy for his family, and his closest friends. Having to deal with this kind of loss, is not quite the same as dealing with the gradual loss of a terminally-ill family member.
These were my thoughts when I first lit up my joss-sticks and paid my respects.
And when I saw his badly made-up face beyond the coffin glass, I couldn't stop the tears from flowing.
--------------------
The similarities are too striking.
Saturday night/Sunday morning.
Accident happened at around 3 a.m.
Was alone.
Lost control of own vehicle.
I used to think that I was lucky that I didn't sustain major injuries during my own accident. And that even if there were cars coming from behind me, I wouldn't really die. Perhaps I would sustain serious injuries and end up on the hospital bed for a month or so, but I'd still survive.
Not anymore. Now, that myth of supposed 'immortality' is shattered.
And it doesn't help if your mom keeps harping on the fact that you shouldn't be alive, if the conditions for the perfect accident were present.
It's getting on my nerves.
Death has always been a touchy subject. As long as I vaguely know the deceased, nothing can stop me from playing the thoughts over and over in my head.
Maybe it's another way of coming to terms with the death. To keep facing the music until you tire of it.
But really... can anyone get tired of death?
--------------------
When I shedded tears at his wake, I wasn't sure of the reason.
Saddened by his death, but the bond of friendship was never that strong to warrant a continuous stream of intense emotions.
Perhaps, it was regret.
No, I don't quite regret having not taken the time to get to know him better. I suppose that, if things didn't turn out the way they were, I would still know him as the jovial smoker who occasionally spouted sarcastic statements in a stand-up comedic fashion.
I suppose it was regret that he could have the potential to accomplish more in his youth.
To die, without saying goodbye, is worse than death itself. If the soul could feel any sense of pain, then this must be beyond any scale of torture.
There is no form of preparation. Death is swift and sudden; it attacks you and drops you to another realm, isolating you from the world that you know.
Of course, there is great empathy/sympathy for his family, and his closest friends. Having to deal with this kind of loss, is not quite the same as dealing with the gradual loss of a terminally-ill family member.
These were my thoughts when I first lit up my joss-sticks and paid my respects.
And when I saw his badly made-up face beyond the coffin glass, I couldn't stop the tears from flowing.
--------------------
The similarities are too striking.
Saturday night/Sunday morning.
Accident happened at around 3 a.m.
Was alone.
Lost control of own vehicle.
I used to think that I was lucky that I didn't sustain major injuries during my own accident. And that even if there were cars coming from behind me, I wouldn't really die. Perhaps I would sustain serious injuries and end up on the hospital bed for a month or so, but I'd still survive.
Not anymore. Now, that myth of supposed 'immortality' is shattered.
And it doesn't help if your mom keeps harping on the fact that you shouldn't be alive, if the conditions for the perfect accident were present.