fatigue
sometimes, fatigue overwhelms your existence. you feel its entire weight on your body, and the monster sits itself comfortably, not wanting to relent in torturing you.
you struggle to breathe and collapse onto life's stage in the middle of a performance.
the audience is shocked, momentarily. then as the paramedics lift that cold lifeless body off the stage, they resume watching life's play, entertaining themselves as they always have.
you are merely a puppet in the master's hands.
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the loss of a symbol in one's life cannot be substituted by another symbol. it is callous to balance the two in the same equation.
the exasperation and pain of having a dream deferred cannot be resolved by finding a soulmate. all the soulmate can do is to comfort and facilitate someone in achieving his/her dream, but they cannot substitute the dream.
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people wonder why i've lost almost all faith in humanity.
well, it's not that i lack faith in them. they just have yet to prove to me that they're really worth my trust. for all the help they've rendered, it is often the little things they do that vexes you. and sometimes you wonder, what did you to deserve that few minutes of ridicule for their self-amusement?
of course, being petty isn't going to get you anywhere. so i just let myself get 'abused'. act the part to lessen the pain, and convince myself that it's because i'm conforming to a certain persona which invites such ridicule. as long as my contribution is recognised, does it matter that i'm the subject of their entertainment?
everyone has their fair share of problems. perhaps they are too bogged down by their problems and sometimes forget that perhaps i may mind the constant ridicule, the repeated references, and the callous insensitive associations between a lost dream and a gained love.
the little things do matter.
but sometimes, they don't matter as much as the greater welfare and happiness for society, do they?
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the author is going through a tough time trying to juggle all her commitments. she is contemplating taking anti-depressants to stabilise her condition but supposes that it'd be difficult to procure them since a) she needs a prescription from the doctor and b) her boyfriend will probably object to it.
nevertheless, she is thankful that she has someone to share her problems with.
you struggle to breathe and collapse onto life's stage in the middle of a performance.
the audience is shocked, momentarily. then as the paramedics lift that cold lifeless body off the stage, they resume watching life's play, entertaining themselves as they always have.
you are merely a puppet in the master's hands.
---------------------------------------
the loss of a symbol in one's life cannot be substituted by another symbol. it is callous to balance the two in the same equation.
the exasperation and pain of having a dream deferred cannot be resolved by finding a soulmate. all the soulmate can do is to comfort and facilitate someone in achieving his/her dream, but they cannot substitute the dream.
--------------------------------------
people wonder why i've lost almost all faith in humanity.
well, it's not that i lack faith in them. they just have yet to prove to me that they're really worth my trust. for all the help they've rendered, it is often the little things they do that vexes you. and sometimes you wonder, what did you to deserve that few minutes of ridicule for their self-amusement?
of course, being petty isn't going to get you anywhere. so i just let myself get 'abused'. act the part to lessen the pain, and convince myself that it's because i'm conforming to a certain persona which invites such ridicule. as long as my contribution is recognised, does it matter that i'm the subject of their entertainment?
everyone has their fair share of problems. perhaps they are too bogged down by their problems and sometimes forget that perhaps i may mind the constant ridicule, the repeated references, and the callous insensitive associations between a lost dream and a gained love.
the little things do matter.
but sometimes, they don't matter as much as the greater welfare and happiness for society, do they?
---------------------------------------
the author is going through a tough time trying to juggle all her commitments. she is contemplating taking anti-depressants to stabilise her condition but supposes that it'd be difficult to procure them since a) she needs a prescription from the doctor and b) her boyfriend will probably object to it.
nevertheless, she is thankful that she has someone to share her problems with.