Mind, Arrested (An Introspective)
How do you go about fighting a world that only exists in your head? You're either constantly running or fighting and all the while its for something not even tangible. When is it time to just give up completely and realize that defeat is the best option?
Since before Middler Camp, my mind has been doing crazy things to me. Some may say that I am being attacked in my mind. I don't know. Its hard for me to see truth now-a-days. It may be easy for me to see it but to believe it is something completely different. I think i'm cracked now. I think i have reached my ultimate "what i can handle" point and now my head is wide open for anything to come in.
I have been evaluating myself lately and i find it so funny how much i am in need of people right now; specific people. I know this has been my heart cry for so long but understand, there is just no one. No one is aound. Everyone is so tangled up in their own agendas. All of that is ok because i have to understand that the world does not revolve around me and that people have their own lives to live. Why is it that i can lay down whatever is going on in my life to help rescue everyone else in their time of need...but to ask for the same in return is selfish.
The only time that my mind is at rest is when someone is talking to me or i'm doing ministry but when i am alone...all hell breaks loose. Whats the remedy for that? How do i rescue myself? I have been placed in a jail. I'm not backsliding or anything,in fact God is awesome right now....but i can't shake this thing.
Just being introspective tonight.
Since before Middler Camp, my mind has been doing crazy things to me. Some may say that I am being attacked in my mind. I don't know. Its hard for me to see truth now-a-days. It may be easy for me to see it but to believe it is something completely different. I think i'm cracked now. I think i have reached my ultimate "what i can handle" point and now my head is wide open for anything to come in.
I have been evaluating myself lately and i find it so funny how much i am in need of people right now; specific people. I know this has been my heart cry for so long but understand, there is just no one. No one is aound. Everyone is so tangled up in their own agendas. All of that is ok because i have to understand that the world does not revolve around me and that people have their own lives to live. Why is it that i can lay down whatever is going on in my life to help rescue everyone else in their time of need...but to ask for the same in return is selfish.
The only time that my mind is at rest is when someone is talking to me or i'm doing ministry but when i am alone...all hell breaks loose. Whats the remedy for that? How do i rescue myself? I have been placed in a jail. I'm not backsliding or anything,in fact God is awesome right now....but i can't shake this thing.
Just being introspective tonight.