(no subject)
tonight is my two month anniversary in new york. I just got back from checking out the brooklyn flea market in williamsburg with greg and now I'm on the couch eating kit kats with sigmund (he's not eating kit kats, just keeping me company). it is hard to put into words what all is happening. on the one hand everything feels like a huge deal, but on the other it feels very much like normal everyday life, so that I can't figure out what is important or significant or worthy of note. it is certainly not what I expected, though I don't know what I expected.
how is new york? this is the first question everybody I talk to from back home asks me and I feel I have provided very inadequate responses. for my friends that still are on livejournal, this is my attempt to answer that question.
I am LIVING in brooklyn. just the day to day grind of making a living for myself--going to work, getting around, grocery shopping, going out--takes up most of my time and energy right now. it is very much like I have to relearn how to live and do very basic, fundamental things like that, because everything is very different here. small things, like managing to get food for the week or do laundry or buy curtains, are big accomplishments but nothing I can talk about when someone asks me how is new york. this question is so difficult to answer. I don't know how new york is because I am still figuring out how to exist here. trying to make my way in such a different world than I have ever been accustomed to, every small detail feels terribly epic, every day is triumph and tragedy, but outside of this context none of it adds up to anything. and so I am sorry, friends, that when you ask me how new york is I can't really describe it to you, because the way my day to day looks from inside my life is completely different from how it looks outside.
I read somewhere online before I moved here that when you are living in new york, some days the city beats you and some days you beat the city. so far, this is the best approximation of life here I have come across. having a "successful" day, whatever that entails, running errands or barhopping or exploring a neighborhood you've never been to before, you feel like you won, even just doing grocery shopping and then making dinner I can feel like I'm on top of the world. but some days nothing goes right. some days the city wins and I go to bed feeling bruised and defeated. I can't eliminate those days because living here is just too wily and unpredictable. what I'm striving to do right now is to raise the bar for the days I win, once the day to day things become comfortable and a normal part of life. but first I have to relearn everything. once I master that I hope I can have a good answer. all of this is to say that right now I don't know how new york is. but I look forward to the day when I can turn my attention outward and find out.
how is new york? this is the first question everybody I talk to from back home asks me and I feel I have provided very inadequate responses. for my friends that still are on livejournal, this is my attempt to answer that question.
I am LIVING in brooklyn. just the day to day grind of making a living for myself--going to work, getting around, grocery shopping, going out--takes up most of my time and energy right now. it is very much like I have to relearn how to live and do very basic, fundamental things like that, because everything is very different here. small things, like managing to get food for the week or do laundry or buy curtains, are big accomplishments but nothing I can talk about when someone asks me how is new york. this question is so difficult to answer. I don't know how new york is because I am still figuring out how to exist here. trying to make my way in such a different world than I have ever been accustomed to, every small detail feels terribly epic, every day is triumph and tragedy, but outside of this context none of it adds up to anything. and so I am sorry, friends, that when you ask me how new york is I can't really describe it to you, because the way my day to day looks from inside my life is completely different from how it looks outside.
I read somewhere online before I moved here that when you are living in new york, some days the city beats you and some days you beat the city. so far, this is the best approximation of life here I have come across. having a "successful" day, whatever that entails, running errands or barhopping or exploring a neighborhood you've never been to before, you feel like you won, even just doing grocery shopping and then making dinner I can feel like I'm on top of the world. but some days nothing goes right. some days the city wins and I go to bed feeling bruised and defeated. I can't eliminate those days because living here is just too wily and unpredictable. what I'm striving to do right now is to raise the bar for the days I win, once the day to day things become comfortable and a normal part of life. but first I have to relearn everything. once I master that I hope I can have a good answer. all of this is to say that right now I don't know how new york is. but I look forward to the day when I can turn my attention outward and find out.