This is the end of my rope, so bite down.
I think I'm going to start asking for sleeping potions, though I'm quite adverse to taking potions. I've just had a lot on my mind. Like her.
Turns out that the first person in need of my tutoring is a sixth year Gryffindor by the name of Demelza Robbins. Never met or heard of her before, but I guess I'll be seeing her next Monday.
Besides regular classes, sleep attempts, and amusing Nolan, I've been suffocating myself with as much research as possible. I need to think of something that's not her.
I wish I could understand what's going on with me, why this is getting to me so badly. I can't even look up when I walk, because I'd rather stare at the floor than risk getting the feeling I get when I see her. I look at her, and everytime it's like a knife carving my heart straight out of my chest. And then what do I do? I work. I read. I try to teach Nolan tricks. Nolan's a cat. Cats don't do tricks. So far all I've gotten is a few scratches from my efforts.
As expected.
Speaking of scratches, hers are still there. Maybe that's what keeps me up. They're healing, and it itches, so I scratch and then they aren't so healed. I know they'll end up scarring. I mean, it's not like they hurt or anything. Just itchy. But still.
I wish I could just take it back. Take back that first meeting in the astronomy tower, take back the sex, take back everything. But I can't. And I can't seem to get rid of these feelings for her either. I've never felt like kissing and killing someone at the same time before. I didn't think it was possible.
I don't know what to do.
Turns out that the first person in need of my tutoring is a sixth year Gryffindor by the name of Demelza Robbins. Never met or heard of her before, but I guess I'll be seeing her next Monday.
Besides regular classes, sleep attempts, and amusing Nolan, I've been suffocating myself with as much research as possible. I need to think of something that's not her.
I wish I could understand what's going on with me, why this is getting to me so badly. I can't even look up when I walk, because I'd rather stare at the floor than risk getting the feeling I get when I see her. I look at her, and everytime it's like a knife carving my heart straight out of my chest. And then what do I do? I work. I read. I try to teach Nolan tricks. Nolan's a cat. Cats don't do tricks. So far all I've gotten is a few scratches from my efforts.
As expected.
Speaking of scratches, hers are still there. Maybe that's what keeps me up. They're healing, and it itches, so I scratch and then they aren't so healed. I know they'll end up scarring. I mean, it's not like they hurt or anything. Just itchy. But still.
I wish I could just take it back. Take back that first meeting in the astronomy tower, take back the sex, take back everything. But I can't. And I can't seem to get rid of these feelings for her either. I've never felt like kissing and killing someone at the same time before. I didn't think it was possible.
I don't know what to do.