Mind If I Masturbate?
Sadly enough, that is perfectly on topic for this entry. Oh god, I dread writing this, since there is so much to tell. I guess I'll start wherever my mind leads me. Item Number 1:
Jill and I are officially taking a break. This was decided Friday morning upon waking up next to one another. We're both very much in love, that hasn't changed, we just want to have some fun before we let ourselves lose our youth. We're gonna take time off now and during the summer, then next semester see where things are. We've talked a lot about the situation, poured our hearts out, and have pretty much decided that we just need to mess around. But we're always pulled back to one another. I realize how young we are and that it hasn't been too long, but I could marry her. And she's said I'm someone she could marry, and that she'd like to. Tomorrow (ok technically today) would have been our six month anniversary...well really 6.5 months, but we moved our anniversary back by 2 weeks because of some...unpleasantness. But yea, I'd marry her in a heartbeat.
The way I look at the whole situation is like this. Even if we don't get back together, I'm really happy being the amazing friends that we are. It's more than I could have asked for when I first met her in class last semester. The past six months have been amazing, I wouldn't trade them for anything, good times or the bad. I was talking to her tonight about how I felt about the whole situation, and we started describing our interpretations of love. Hers was very heavily rooted in a verse from the bible, which I've really started to like. I told her that for me, love is being the most intense pain ever, but not wanting to experience any other feeling than that. And I think it comes from a mixture of feelings. Love for friends, they're incredible, there are only good thoughts. Hatred for people I don't like. I hate them, so why do I still remember them. The feelings are so extreme they are the ones that never go away. I remember all the good things Jill and I had, and all the bad things, but without them I couldn't love her as much as I do.
I know it may sound naive to sound this way, but I know how I feel whenever I do things that mean something to me. I know that when I'm trying to soothe the sunburn on her back, it's because I don't want her to feel pain. I know I'd do that all day if I could. I know I loved still cooling her back even when she fell asleep. I love that I knew exactly what kind of sleep she was in, and I could tell just by her breathing. I know that when she drinks too much water at dinner and feels sick I can't imagine being anywhere than laying next to her rubbing her belly. I love knowing when she's thinking something because of the sound her lips make when she slightly smiles. I love that when my eyes are closed, I know if she's looking at me, away from me, or has her eyes closed herself. I love that I can tell her all of this. I love that even though we've wanted to kiss each other so much today, I've had the will power not to, because I'm afraid if I do I'll lose my chance to have her back. She means more than just a kiss. I figure, if I can hold off kissing her for a bit, I may be able to spend the rest of my life trying to make up for those lost kisses.
To quote Mike Myers from Wayne's World 2: "She will be mine again, oh yes, she will be mine again." I told her that at breakfast Friday morning. She laughed because that's the kind of girl she is. We can be in the middle of a serious discussion, but any comedy refrence is welcomed. Her first memory of me is from the second night here in Ithaca, I was making an ass out of myself doing impressions of Quagmire from Family Guy. I love her. We've decided all is fair in love and war. I've got this, I can do it.
So Item Number 2: This is where the subject comes in. In my Business and Professional Communications class we have to give a 6-8 minute persuasive speech. The goal is to motivate the class to do something, so people are going to try to get them to sign petition's to lower the drinking age, or ask them to eat peanut butter because it's cheap and healthy. That's too boring for me. I'm going to try to persuade everyone in the class to (at some point that night) masturbate. And my professor can't wait for this speech. I told my mom and she's making me save the video of it. I love college, I really do.
Item 3: Last night was my third run-in with the police in the month of March. 3 times in one month. Not so sweet. So let's start at the beginning. Spring Break, i'm running late to work for my dad so i'm trying to make up time on the road. After work for my dead I'm going to my friend Elana's funeral. So it's just not a good day. I come around a corner and there is a Fairfield cop waiting on the side of the road. He turns on the lights and I pull over. He says to me "I picked you up doing 49 around that corner. This is a 25, that's quite a difference" so i hand him my liscence and all that. He comes back and says "alright here's the situation. A car got in the way of the radar and when I picked you up again you were down to 44, so here's a written warning". That was sooooo amazing of the cop. Then the first week back to school, three of my RA's (resident assistants) and another girl from my building all go downtown to raise money for Relay For Life (cancer charity). Turns out two weeks before they made a city wide ordinance requiring a permit to do something like that. So $100 into fundraising a cop comes over and asks us all for ID. He tells us the situation and that he needs to verify it. We explain the misunderstanding and avoid getting arrested luckily. Then last night, the cops come to bust a party me and some of my friends are at. So we leave, walking away from a party. Out of nowhere this third squad car floors it down the street follows us, then drives alongside us as we're walking, staring us all down. He then flies off back towards the party. It just sucked, but oh well.
So that's really my life lately, sorry this entry was so long, just needed to get that off my chest. I really should update more often so I don't have to do these huge ass posts. Anyway, I think my bed is calling my name, goodnight all.
Jill and I are officially taking a break. This was decided Friday morning upon waking up next to one another. We're both very much in love, that hasn't changed, we just want to have some fun before we let ourselves lose our youth. We're gonna take time off now and during the summer, then next semester see where things are. We've talked a lot about the situation, poured our hearts out, and have pretty much decided that we just need to mess around. But we're always pulled back to one another. I realize how young we are and that it hasn't been too long, but I could marry her. And she's said I'm someone she could marry, and that she'd like to. Tomorrow (ok technically today) would have been our six month anniversary...well really 6.5 months, but we moved our anniversary back by 2 weeks because of some...unpleasantness. But yea, I'd marry her in a heartbeat.
The way I look at the whole situation is like this. Even if we don't get back together, I'm really happy being the amazing friends that we are. It's more than I could have asked for when I first met her in class last semester. The past six months have been amazing, I wouldn't trade them for anything, good times or the bad. I was talking to her tonight about how I felt about the whole situation, and we started describing our interpretations of love. Hers was very heavily rooted in a verse from the bible, which I've really started to like. I told her that for me, love is being the most intense pain ever, but not wanting to experience any other feeling than that. And I think it comes from a mixture of feelings. Love for friends, they're incredible, there are only good thoughts. Hatred for people I don't like. I hate them, so why do I still remember them. The feelings are so extreme they are the ones that never go away. I remember all the good things Jill and I had, and all the bad things, but without them I couldn't love her as much as I do.
I know it may sound naive to sound this way, but I know how I feel whenever I do things that mean something to me. I know that when I'm trying to soothe the sunburn on her back, it's because I don't want her to feel pain. I know I'd do that all day if I could. I know I loved still cooling her back even when she fell asleep. I love that I knew exactly what kind of sleep she was in, and I could tell just by her breathing. I know that when she drinks too much water at dinner and feels sick I can't imagine being anywhere than laying next to her rubbing her belly. I love knowing when she's thinking something because of the sound her lips make when she slightly smiles. I love that when my eyes are closed, I know if she's looking at me, away from me, or has her eyes closed herself. I love that I can tell her all of this. I love that even though we've wanted to kiss each other so much today, I've had the will power not to, because I'm afraid if I do I'll lose my chance to have her back. She means more than just a kiss. I figure, if I can hold off kissing her for a bit, I may be able to spend the rest of my life trying to make up for those lost kisses.
To quote Mike Myers from Wayne's World 2: "She will be mine again, oh yes, she will be mine again." I told her that at breakfast Friday morning. She laughed because that's the kind of girl she is. We can be in the middle of a serious discussion, but any comedy refrence is welcomed. Her first memory of me is from the second night here in Ithaca, I was making an ass out of myself doing impressions of Quagmire from Family Guy. I love her. We've decided all is fair in love and war. I've got this, I can do it.
So Item Number 2: This is where the subject comes in. In my Business and Professional Communications class we have to give a 6-8 minute persuasive speech. The goal is to motivate the class to do something, so people are going to try to get them to sign petition's to lower the drinking age, or ask them to eat peanut butter because it's cheap and healthy. That's too boring for me. I'm going to try to persuade everyone in the class to (at some point that night) masturbate. And my professor can't wait for this speech. I told my mom and she's making me save the video of it. I love college, I really do.
Item 3: Last night was my third run-in with the police in the month of March. 3 times in one month. Not so sweet. So let's start at the beginning. Spring Break, i'm running late to work for my dad so i'm trying to make up time on the road. After work for my dead I'm going to my friend Elana's funeral. So it's just not a good day. I come around a corner and there is a Fairfield cop waiting on the side of the road. He turns on the lights and I pull over. He says to me "I picked you up doing 49 around that corner. This is a 25, that's quite a difference" so i hand him my liscence and all that. He comes back and says "alright here's the situation. A car got in the way of the radar and when I picked you up again you were down to 44, so here's a written warning". That was sooooo amazing of the cop. Then the first week back to school, three of my RA's (resident assistants) and another girl from my building all go downtown to raise money for Relay For Life (cancer charity). Turns out two weeks before they made a city wide ordinance requiring a permit to do something like that. So $100 into fundraising a cop comes over and asks us all for ID. He tells us the situation and that he needs to verify it. We explain the misunderstanding and avoid getting arrested luckily. Then last night, the cops come to bust a party me and some of my friends are at. So we leave, walking away from a party. Out of nowhere this third squad car floors it down the street follows us, then drives alongside us as we're walking, staring us all down. He then flies off back towards the party. It just sucked, but oh well.
So that's really my life lately, sorry this entry was so long, just needed to get that off my chest. I really should update more often so I don't have to do these huge ass posts. Anyway, I think my bed is calling my name, goodnight all.