Log: Heart to hearts with Angy?
*is-- chilling. sprawled on a couch, with a book \o/*
*kind of sort of stalks in from outside, still wearing the sword from the thwarted maybeexpedition there*
*looks over. woo, a cousin, and curiousfrowns a little at the stalking*
*glares at things, a bit, muttering something about little brothers - and then notices Angy and blinks* ---Angrod.
---Celegorm. *sits up, yay*
*bit of maybe an attempt at a smile* You're...well?
Yeah. *your brother waved a sword at me, but we're surprisingly chill with that* ---You?
I'm fine. *Finwëanly!* *would be angry about that if he heard*
*aww, that's kind of sweet* You keep saying that. How are the stitches?
They're all right. *sore and not great, can't stay still*
Good. *and seriously, does know the Finwean definition of fine, but isn't really on a comfort level at the moment to push it* *looks a bit sideways at him* I saw your other brother's here.
*oh man* I hope you didn't talk to him. *a bit of a scowl*
*handwaves* Only briefly. *it can't really be called 'talking' when it mostly involves threats and perceived hallucination, anyway*
Good. He didn't really arrive in the best of moods. *had an uncomfortable conversation himself!*
Really? I didn't notice. Understandable.
Sorry about that, honestly. >.< *just makes a bit of a face* ...I saw a cousin of yours arrived, too. *meaning Fingon. they're not related, nope.*
*you're practically in-laws, dude* *eyebrow* Yes.
*sssshhh.* *silence: commences. what now in functional conversations?*
*silence: continues. knows what he /wants/ to ask about, but they're so, so awkward already*
*awwwwkwardelephants, really* So...
So. *we could have a whole circus, couldn't we. of awkward awkward elephants and hungry hungry hippos and-- fine, fine Finwëans**
....*XDDDD Claire I love you, just so you know* Was there something?
*:D* Not-- *grnflkgh. gives up.* Pretend this isn't really awkward small talk. How are you really?
*blink* ---really? What do you mean? *and a little amused, which helps, but still a bit wary**
*saw into your head, dude, that doesn't fix itself in a week* Do you /know/ how many people have been going around claiming they're 'fine'? It's starting to lose its meaning in repetition.
*a bit amused, again, dryly* Yes, I do, I'm related to most of them. *:\ brothers.* *avoiding the question? nope*
*amusing people is his defense -- or rather, disarmament -- mechanism!* So am I. Small world. But no one's ever just plain fine; you can't sum up a state of mind in one word, and 'fine' is what you use when you're trying to avoid the question.
*one more attempt* Moryo accused me of the same thing the other day. *dryly, really*
-----There, then, if /we/ agree there's definitely a point in there somewhere.
---that wasn't the point. *:|*
It's a good one, though.
*that's a scowl that really looks like the Tyelko you used to know, just sulking rather than actually angry. he's been had!* All right. *pause* Fine. So I'm not just fine. But I'm all right. *a little less stubbornly, though*
*that's reassuring. in the way where it's really making it hard not to just be his own unreserved self, gah* Are you?
--mostly. *a little uncomfortably.*
*good boy!* *headtilt*
*well, there must be someone somewhere* *awkward shift* Well-
-Go on. *we're patient!*
*looks a bit pained, where does he start* ----I don't know what to do. *still* *with your sister, or the new cousin, or his brothers, or himself, or /you/ or*
Recurring problem, isn't it? *inclines his head to his couch, pulling up his legs* Sit.
*blink, looks confused - on the same couch?* *but does go and sit, if a bit hesitantly*
*clearly it's time to take their relationship to the next level of sharing furniture* *and wraps his arms around his knees* Don't know about-- *wriggly hand gesture that means 'that painfully awkward conversation we had about you and amends augh'*? Or what?
Anything. *that, yeah.* *pause* Family members.
What are we doing?
*being confusing!* ....where do I /start?/
Wherever works?
What am I supposed to do with Findekano? Or Maglor? And what in hell is going /on/ with that sister of yours?
*eyebrows* What /is/ going on with her? *hasn't been around for her crackplots!*
I don't /know/.
I mean, what's odd?
She's... *mouthpress* ....*civil?* ....friendly. *this is /weird/*
*huh. also, this is like. the cutlery telling the pot how black the kettle is* Huh. When did that happen?
...a...bit ago. *she changed after that weird stuff with the thingamajig* *and the kiddification*
I-- have no idea either. *will probably ask her about it! which will be a weird-ass conversation, let me tell you*
*isn't worried about it!* Perhaps you should ask. *she cried! What was that about?*
I think I will.
*just nod, almost says 'good'*
*you just make it really hard to hate you, it's apparently a growing problem, he isn't saying* What about that-- what we spoke of? Before.
*looks uncomfortable* What?
*yay uncomfortable conversation pieces* Well, what about it?
*which one, he almost wants to say* *looks more uncomfortable, because yeah, gone nowhere!*
*Angy needs you to go somewhere! his personal inner conflict will be so much more resolved when your outer ones are. oh, and he cares about you, too*
*waitwhat?* It's...nothing. *embarrassed*
*well. shhh.* Thought about what you can do? *at least?*
*tried?* ...a little. *but the issue is that as soon as he actually /sees/ Finrod things get /weird/*
*well, understandable. but still.* And?
*squirmsabit* There's...it hasn't gone anywhere.
*that at least was obvious* Just-- as an observation. If my sister's being... friendly? It's probably not that hopeless.
*it's weird, though* I don't know if it's....natural. *who knows, maybe she's still crackplotted?*
*aww, paranoia. granted, it's a legitimate concern* Natural?
There were ...weird things, where she wasn't...herself.
*frowns, because-- little sister. that doesn't sound promising*
*does not worry about her. despite the fact that he looks worried.* And that's Artanis. *not the other one. :|* *started using that name again*
*not the other one of what?* *defaults to Quenya usually anyway, but still, noticing the nameswitch, and the worried even more* What happened? *sorry, little sisters take precedence sometimes*
*Finrod XD* *no, that's fine! not talking about him is good* She's been acting strangely. And the other day she was...she saw something she was upset by. *:\*
Foresaw? Did she say------?
She wouldn't.
*:/* *puts that on the list of things to ask her, and the list of things to ask her while trying not to be too obvious that it all comes from Tyelko, which, difficult*
*:\ indeed* She hasn't mentioned it to you, then?
Not yet. *but if he has his way she will*
*dang* *almost mentions that it's not him in trouble, then realizes that might bring up awkward questions*
*heeeeeee.* I'll ask about that too, be sure.
Good. *is relieved about /that/ at least!*
*mmph* Acting strangely how, though?
*I told you that already!* Friendly. *it's weiiiiird*
*you're telling him!* You said. And then you said it might not be natural, and that's a little concerning.
I /know/. *wait. does that count as bad admission? hurries on* Because she said herself that there was magic here she couldn't detect...
*kind of does :D* I know there is. *you missed me being a girl!* Did you -- plural you -- run afoul of it?
*aw /man/* It's...well, yes, but you knew that. *:|*
Wait, with the-- *inarticulate hand gesture, again* that thing?
*a bit of a nod, yeah, the embarrassing thing :|*
--I see. *well, that could potentially explain some things* I-- who saw what?
Who saw what what?
With the thing. *gaaah, uncomfortable. shifting.* Did she get you, or you her?
---It was accidental! *defensively*
--I have absolutely no doubt of that. *can't /imagine/ anyone would go through either side of that willingly, seriously*
*meaning, of course, that he got her*
You don't think that might explain the-- *handwave* friendly, a little? *after all, look who you're talking to*
---*well, that's weird too. so doesn't quite answer that question*
*you're telling him*
*it is!* ---not really.
*yeah, /knows/* Why not?
Because - it doesn't! What difference does it make? It didn't last.
Of course it makes a difference. *shortly, because, um. little close to home here*
*blink* *slightly baffled look at him* *because of course /they're/ talking now, and he's changed his view on Angy, but those are !exceptions!*
You don't-- *flail!* You don't see inside someone else's mind like that and /forget/ it.
But- *it can't be /that/ bad! I mean, it's me!* I didn't expect her to /forget/ it, but it shouldn't change her /that/ much! *flailabit*
Shouldn't it? *kind of in a rush* ----Much as it kind of pains me to admit it, you aren't /evil/, and it's really hard to find even a few redeeming features in a person, and you have plenty, you know, even if you are avoiding using them, and not revise your opinion accordingly, so no, if she's seen all that it might /not/ actually be as far-fetched as you think.
*um.*
--------------*blink* /What?/
...I am /not/ repeating that.
No, I just mean - /what?/ *did you actually just say what I /think/ you said?*
*yeah, probably did* I'll talk to her, I will. But damn it, do you /know/ how hard you make it to stay furious with you? *and Artanis is much better at keeping up appearances than he is! he totally crumbles at the first little dose of telepathy*
-----it is? *bewildered*
Mm. *such a bad brother, god*
*would disagree* *just blinks at him a bit, can't quite /get/ that*
*is not proud of this!* I don't /know/, all right? You're just-- *mmph* ----you're still yourself. *which is not an excuse, he knows this*
...what does that mean?
*not looking at him* It means I, and she, maybe, look at you and remember-- *a friend. gaah. in an undertone* You haven't changed that much. *wishes, really wishes that he had*
*blinkblink* *silence on the Tyelko front, what is he supposed to say to that?*
*silence on the Angy front: what is he supposed to add to that? The parts that /have/ changed?*
*like what? the guilty? or the dead brother? or both?* ...I see. *sort of*
*both! mostly the dead brother, though* Do you? I'm still working on it.
No, not really. *mostly bewildered at the 'wait what does this mean someone other than brothers actually might be okay with me?' thing*
*not exactly okay with him: he kind of has to do something about the dead brother thing before we work up to that, but definitely distressingly bad at being /not/ okay* I said I don't know. *:/, looks back at him, resigned a bit* What do you think?
I don't know what I think anymore than you do.
*little humourless smile, and seriously, someone put him in a good mood, stat, we hate those things* I know what I think at this point, I just don't like it. Or know why.
I don't either. *awww, Angy - if it helps, go ahead and make him flail and ask that question!*
*that isn't good-mood-inducing! and he won't ask it out of the blue, anyway* Don't what? *like it, or know why?*
Know why. Anything, really. *:\*
*:/* I wish I could give you an answer to that. Wish I could give /myself/ one. *darkly, gah*
*shifts, and then quietly, looking down, says* Do you ever wish that some things just...didn't happen?
*likewise quiet* Every day.
Cano showed me the star. *almost tonelessly*
The--? *was dead for that!*
*pause* Come on. I'll show you. *stands up*
*gives him a quizzical look, but unfolds*
*will be going outside, then, and sits down on the porch, puts his chin in his hand and then indicates the Silmastar, which is probably fairly easy to see* It's one of the Silmarils. *:\*
It--- oh. *sits down next to him, looking up*
*is kind of staring again - it's a little mesmerizing, really*
*yeah, and even when you haven't killed lots of people in its name, it's still really pretty and symbolic and stuff*
*yeah! there you go! and make Tyelkos vaguely sad, but*
*after a long, long pause, quiet* Do you--- Do you still want it?
*shakes his head* I couldn't touch it anymore, could I? And what would I /do/ with it, anyway? It's fine where it is. *quietly*
*almost reaches to put a hand on his shoulder, but doesn't, because, well. attitude's all well and good now, but this /is/ the Silmaril his brother died to help get. runs the hand through his hair, instead* Can I----
Can you what?
*ask you a question? sounds silly. in a low voice,* Why did you do it?
*almost tenses, just sighs* ........I don't know. *almost a small voice*
*can be tense for him! not his ideal topic of conversation, but* There must have been a reason. At the time.
At the time? Someone suggested it. It seemed like a good idea. I guess I didn't - really think. *maybe didn't /quite/ get that he was condemning Finrod to death, we don't think* *just looking up at the Silmastar*
*kind of sort of stalks in from outside, still wearing the sword from the thwarted maybeexpedition there*
*looks over. woo, a cousin, and curiousfrowns a little at the stalking*
*glares at things, a bit, muttering something about little brothers - and then notices Angy and blinks* ---Angrod.
---Celegorm. *sits up, yay*
*bit of maybe an attempt at a smile* You're...well?
Yeah. *your brother waved a sword at me, but we're surprisingly chill with that* ---You?
I'm fine. *Finwëanly!* *would be angry about that if he heard*
*aww, that's kind of sweet* You keep saying that. How are the stitches?
They're all right. *sore and not great, can't stay still*
Good. *and seriously, does know the Finwean definition of fine, but isn't really on a comfort level at the moment to push it* *looks a bit sideways at him* I saw your other brother's here.
*oh man* I hope you didn't talk to him. *a bit of a scowl*
*handwaves* Only briefly. *it can't really be called 'talking' when it mostly involves threats and perceived hallucination, anyway*
Good. He didn't really arrive in the best of moods. *had an uncomfortable conversation himself!*
Really? I didn't notice. Understandable.
Sorry about that, honestly. >.< *just makes a bit of a face* ...I saw a cousin of yours arrived, too. *meaning Fingon. they're not related, nope.*
*you're practically in-laws, dude* *eyebrow* Yes.
*sssshhh.* *silence: commences. what now in functional conversations?*
*silence: continues. knows what he /wants/ to ask about, but they're so, so awkward already*
*awwwwkwardelephants, really* So...
So. *we could have a whole circus, couldn't we. of awkward awkward elephants and hungry hungry hippos and-- fine, fine Finwëans**
....*XDDDD Claire I love you, just so you know* Was there something?
*:D* Not-- *grnflkgh. gives up.* Pretend this isn't really awkward small talk. How are you really?
*blink* ---really? What do you mean? *and a little amused, which helps, but still a bit wary**
*saw into your head, dude, that doesn't fix itself in a week* Do you /know/ how many people have been going around claiming they're 'fine'? It's starting to lose its meaning in repetition.
*a bit amused, again, dryly* Yes, I do, I'm related to most of them. *:\ brothers.* *avoiding the question? nope*
*amusing people is his defense -- or rather, disarmament -- mechanism!* So am I. Small world. But no one's ever just plain fine; you can't sum up a state of mind in one word, and 'fine' is what you use when you're trying to avoid the question.
*one more attempt* Moryo accused me of the same thing the other day. *dryly, really*
-----There, then, if /we/ agree there's definitely a point in there somewhere.
---that wasn't the point. *:|*
It's a good one, though.
*that's a scowl that really looks like the Tyelko you used to know, just sulking rather than actually angry. he's been had!* All right. *pause* Fine. So I'm not just fine. But I'm all right. *a little less stubbornly, though*
*that's reassuring. in the way where it's really making it hard not to just be his own unreserved self, gah* Are you?
--mostly. *a little uncomfortably.*
*good boy!* *headtilt*
*well, there must be someone somewhere* *awkward shift* Well-
-Go on. *we're patient!*
*looks a bit pained, where does he start* ----I don't know what to do. *still* *with your sister, or the new cousin, or his brothers, or himself, or /you/ or*
Recurring problem, isn't it? *inclines his head to his couch, pulling up his legs* Sit.
*blink, looks confused - on the same couch?* *but does go and sit, if a bit hesitantly*
*clearly it's time to take their relationship to the next level of sharing furniture* *and wraps his arms around his knees* Don't know about-- *wriggly hand gesture that means 'that painfully awkward conversation we had about you and amends augh'*? Or what?
Anything. *that, yeah.* *pause* Family members.
What are we doing?
*being confusing!* ....where do I /start?/
Wherever works?
What am I supposed to do with Findekano? Or Maglor? And what in hell is going /on/ with that sister of yours?
*eyebrows* What /is/ going on with her? *hasn't been around for her crackplots!*
I don't /know/.
I mean, what's odd?
She's... *mouthpress* ....*civil?* ....friendly. *this is /weird/*
*huh. also, this is like. the cutlery telling the pot how black the kettle is* Huh. When did that happen?
...a...bit ago. *she changed after that weird stuff with the thingamajig* *and the kiddification*
I-- have no idea either. *will probably ask her about it! which will be a weird-ass conversation, let me tell you*
*isn't worried about it!* Perhaps you should ask. *she cried! What was that about?*
I think I will.
*just nod, almost says 'good'*
*you just make it really hard to hate you, it's apparently a growing problem, he isn't saying* What about that-- what we spoke of? Before.
*looks uncomfortable* What?
*yay uncomfortable conversation pieces* Well, what about it?
*which one, he almost wants to say* *looks more uncomfortable, because yeah, gone nowhere!*
*Angy needs you to go somewhere! his personal inner conflict will be so much more resolved when your outer ones are. oh, and he cares about you, too*
*waitwhat?* It's...nothing. *embarrassed*
*well. shhh.* Thought about what you can do? *at least?*
*tried?* ...a little. *but the issue is that as soon as he actually /sees/ Finrod things get /weird/*
*well, understandable. but still.* And?
*squirmsabit* There's...it hasn't gone anywhere.
*that at least was obvious* Just-- as an observation. If my sister's being... friendly? It's probably not that hopeless.
*it's weird, though* I don't know if it's....natural. *who knows, maybe she's still crackplotted?*
*aww, paranoia. granted, it's a legitimate concern* Natural?
There were ...weird things, where she wasn't...herself.
*frowns, because-- little sister. that doesn't sound promising*
*does not worry about her. despite the fact that he looks worried.* And that's Artanis. *not the other one. :|* *started using that name again*
*not the other one of what?* *defaults to Quenya usually anyway, but still, noticing the nameswitch, and the worried even more* What happened? *sorry, little sisters take precedence sometimes*
*Finrod XD* *no, that's fine! not talking about him is good* She's been acting strangely. And the other day she was...she saw something she was upset by. *:\*
Foresaw? Did she say------?
She wouldn't.
*:/* *puts that on the list of things to ask her, and the list of things to ask her while trying not to be too obvious that it all comes from Tyelko, which, difficult*
*:\ indeed* She hasn't mentioned it to you, then?
Not yet. *but if he has his way she will*
*dang* *almost mentions that it's not him in trouble, then realizes that might bring up awkward questions*
*heeeeeee.* I'll ask about that too, be sure.
Good. *is relieved about /that/ at least!*
*mmph* Acting strangely how, though?
*I told you that already!* Friendly. *it's weiiiiird*
*you're telling him!* You said. And then you said it might not be natural, and that's a little concerning.
I /know/. *wait. does that count as bad admission? hurries on* Because she said herself that there was magic here she couldn't detect...
*kind of does :D* I know there is. *you missed me being a girl!* Did you -- plural you -- run afoul of it?
*aw /man/* It's...well, yes, but you knew that. *:|*
Wait, with the-- *inarticulate hand gesture, again* that thing?
*a bit of a nod, yeah, the embarrassing thing :|*
--I see. *well, that could potentially explain some things* I-- who saw what?
Who saw what what?
With the thing. *gaaah, uncomfortable. shifting.* Did she get you, or you her?
---It was accidental! *defensively*
--I have absolutely no doubt of that. *can't /imagine/ anyone would go through either side of that willingly, seriously*
*meaning, of course, that he got her*
You don't think that might explain the-- *handwave* friendly, a little? *after all, look who you're talking to*
---*well, that's weird too. so doesn't quite answer that question*
*you're telling him*
*it is!* ---not really.
*yeah, /knows/* Why not?
Because - it doesn't! What difference does it make? It didn't last.
Of course it makes a difference. *shortly, because, um. little close to home here*
*blink* *slightly baffled look at him* *because of course /they're/ talking now, and he's changed his view on Angy, but those are !exceptions!*
You don't-- *flail!* You don't see inside someone else's mind like that and /forget/ it.
But- *it can't be /that/ bad! I mean, it's me!* I didn't expect her to /forget/ it, but it shouldn't change her /that/ much! *flailabit*
Shouldn't it? *kind of in a rush* ----Much as it kind of pains me to admit it, you aren't /evil/, and it's really hard to find even a few redeeming features in a person, and you have plenty, you know, even if you are avoiding using them, and not revise your opinion accordingly, so no, if she's seen all that it might /not/ actually be as far-fetched as you think.
*um.*
--------------*blink* /What?/
...I am /not/ repeating that.
No, I just mean - /what?/ *did you actually just say what I /think/ you said?*
*yeah, probably did* I'll talk to her, I will. But damn it, do you /know/ how hard you make it to stay furious with you? *and Artanis is much better at keeping up appearances than he is! he totally crumbles at the first little dose of telepathy*
-----it is? *bewildered*
Mm. *such a bad brother, god*
*would disagree* *just blinks at him a bit, can't quite /get/ that*
*is not proud of this!* I don't /know/, all right? You're just-- *mmph* ----you're still yourself. *which is not an excuse, he knows this*
...what does that mean?
*not looking at him* It means I, and she, maybe, look at you and remember-- *a friend. gaah. in an undertone* You haven't changed that much. *wishes, really wishes that he had*
*blinkblink* *silence on the Tyelko front, what is he supposed to say to that?*
*silence on the Angy front: what is he supposed to add to that? The parts that /have/ changed?*
*like what? the guilty? or the dead brother? or both?* ...I see. *sort of*
*both! mostly the dead brother, though* Do you? I'm still working on it.
No, not really. *mostly bewildered at the 'wait what does this mean someone other than brothers actually might be okay with me?' thing*
*not exactly okay with him: he kind of has to do something about the dead brother thing before we work up to that, but definitely distressingly bad at being /not/ okay* I said I don't know. *:/, looks back at him, resigned a bit* What do you think?
I don't know what I think anymore than you do.
*little humourless smile, and seriously, someone put him in a good mood, stat, we hate those things* I know what I think at this point, I just don't like it. Or know why.
I don't either. *awww, Angy - if it helps, go ahead and make him flail and ask that question!*
*that isn't good-mood-inducing! and he won't ask it out of the blue, anyway* Don't what? *like it, or know why?*
Know why. Anything, really. *:\*
*:/* I wish I could give you an answer to that. Wish I could give /myself/ one. *darkly, gah*
*shifts, and then quietly, looking down, says* Do you ever wish that some things just...didn't happen?
*likewise quiet* Every day.
Cano showed me the star. *almost tonelessly*
The--? *was dead for that!*
*pause* Come on. I'll show you. *stands up*
*gives him a quizzical look, but unfolds*
*will be going outside, then, and sits down on the porch, puts his chin in his hand and then indicates the Silmastar, which is probably fairly easy to see* It's one of the Silmarils. *:\*
It--- oh. *sits down next to him, looking up*
*is kind of staring again - it's a little mesmerizing, really*
*yeah, and even when you haven't killed lots of people in its name, it's still really pretty and symbolic and stuff*
*yeah! there you go! and make Tyelkos vaguely sad, but*
*after a long, long pause, quiet* Do you--- Do you still want it?
*shakes his head* I couldn't touch it anymore, could I? And what would I /do/ with it, anyway? It's fine where it is. *quietly*
*almost reaches to put a hand on his shoulder, but doesn't, because, well. attitude's all well and good now, but this /is/ the Silmaril his brother died to help get. runs the hand through his hair, instead* Can I----
Can you what?
*ask you a question? sounds silly. in a low voice,* Why did you do it?
*almost tenses, just sighs* ........I don't know. *almost a small voice*
*can be tense for him! not his ideal topic of conversation, but* There must have been a reason. At the time.
At the time? Someone suggested it. It seemed like a good idea. I guess I didn't - really think. *maybe didn't /quite/ get that he was condemning Finrod to death, we don't think* *just looking up at the Silmastar*