(no subject)
When I look at pictures of myself from a couple of years ago, I'm just not seeing who I used to see. They are starting to look foreign to me, like I know it's me looking up from the paper, but I have to remind myself. I don't feel it, I have to think it. Totally weird.
Anyway, I had the best weekend. In terms of gender, it was amazing. Michele and I picked out a new cock at a Woman's Touch. It is something big enough to fuck with and soft enough to pack if I want. It's made out of cyberskin, I'm worried it won't last very long, but it feels very real. And, to be completely candid, I like having the testicles. I wear baggy jeans, so it isn't terribly noticeable, even if it is a little presumptuous. We picked up a few other items and pedaled our legs home real fast. Instead of taking the nap that we needed, we played all afternoon, which is something we rarely get to do considering the son of ours and all. We went out that night and I had a good time pressing up against her when she danced. She looked amazing, more gorgeous than I've ever seen her. I was doing live art, but I watched her from where I was painting, up above the crowd on a little platform. Her smile was big and bright, her hair falling over her shoulders, her earrings flashing against the colored lights. She laughed with her mouth open and her head back. That's the way I'll always remember her, I think. She climbed up next to me at one point, wrapped her arms around my neck and danced on my lap. She kissed me long and hard. I'll always remember that too. It was late when we got home and we were tired.
In between kisses Friday night, Michele lifts her lips to my ear and whispers, "I want to call you Tyler. Can I? Do you want me to?" And I said yes.
"Tyler. I love you, Tyler."
Hearing that felt weird at first. Totally new. But, it felt complete too, I really liked it. And, I really hope Michele knows how much it meant to me and I really hope that she liked it too.
Wow. We fell in love all over again. She fell in love with me as Tyler, and I was Tyler when I fell in love with her. It was amazing, almost too much for words. I don't have words to give it justice anyway. We went camping, and even though I don't have a binder yet, I was a guy the whole time.
I think I turned a little corner this weekend. With that kind of support from someone I love and respect and cherish so much, I have a new-found confidence in myself and a whole new outlook on who I want to become. I'm beginning to think that I really could be Tyler for real, and not just in private. I don't want to distract myself anymore. I want to pursue this change. I want to get on with my life, my whole life. I'm still scared of what all that entails, but I'm excited too.
Next step, binding.
Anyway, I had the best weekend. In terms of gender, it was amazing. Michele and I picked out a new cock at a Woman's Touch. It is something big enough to fuck with and soft enough to pack if I want. It's made out of cyberskin, I'm worried it won't last very long, but it feels very real. And, to be completely candid, I like having the testicles. I wear baggy jeans, so it isn't terribly noticeable, even if it is a little presumptuous. We picked up a few other items and pedaled our legs home real fast. Instead of taking the nap that we needed, we played all afternoon, which is something we rarely get to do considering the son of ours and all. We went out that night and I had a good time pressing up against her when she danced. She looked amazing, more gorgeous than I've ever seen her. I was doing live art, but I watched her from where I was painting, up above the crowd on a little platform. Her smile was big and bright, her hair falling over her shoulders, her earrings flashing against the colored lights. She laughed with her mouth open and her head back. That's the way I'll always remember her, I think. She climbed up next to me at one point, wrapped her arms around my neck and danced on my lap. She kissed me long and hard. I'll always remember that too. It was late when we got home and we were tired.
In between kisses Friday night, Michele lifts her lips to my ear and whispers, "I want to call you Tyler. Can I? Do you want me to?" And I said yes.
"Tyler. I love you, Tyler."
Hearing that felt weird at first. Totally new. But, it felt complete too, I really liked it. And, I really hope Michele knows how much it meant to me and I really hope that she liked it too.
Wow. We fell in love all over again. She fell in love with me as Tyler, and I was Tyler when I fell in love with her. It was amazing, almost too much for words. I don't have words to give it justice anyway. We went camping, and even though I don't have a binder yet, I was a guy the whole time.
I think I turned a little corner this weekend. With that kind of support from someone I love and respect and cherish so much, I have a new-found confidence in myself and a whole new outlook on who I want to become. I'm beginning to think that I really could be Tyler for real, and not just in private. I don't want to distract myself anymore. I want to pursue this change. I want to get on with my life, my whole life. I'm still scared of what all that entails, but I'm excited too.
Next step, binding.