Numb
I haven't written in several months, here or otherwise. It hasn't been a conscious hiatus, I just...haven't written anything.
For the past few months I've been living a pretty zombie-like lifestyle. Get up, go to work, come home, veg, go to sleep, lather rinse repeat, etc. I've turned into this useless blob of a human being when I'm not working. I think most people are okay with this in themselves, as long as they're working and contributing and paying their bills. After all, who doesn't want to come home after a long day of work and just chill out, watch t.v., eat some good food, and relax?
Me. I don't.
Here's the thing; as far as I'm concerned - when you die, you die. That's it. Game over. I think for most people this is a harrowing thought (and probably the basis for religion), but for me it's liberating. I HATE myself for wasting my precious time on Earth. I get this sick feeling in my stomach realizing I wasted a day. One whole day of my life I spent napping or watching TV or some bullshit.
I cannot die knowing I wasted time and opportunities. There are so many amazing breathtaking things to see and do on Earth. And on top of that, THEY'RE ACCESSIBLE. Want to see The Pyramids? Get a job, buy a plane ticket. IT IS THAT EASY. You can do these things if you want, you just have to have to will and drive. That lack of will and drive is exactly what I hate and loathe about the current generation. They do what they're told, their taste in art and entertainment is based entirely on what is fed to them by the media, they don't read, they are BORING. That lifestyle disgusts me. I grew up hating normalcy. I wanted so bad to distance myself from the normal people and now I find myself having that sedentary apathetic lifestyle creeping into my life.
Nope. No more.
I will waste no more time.
This year I will write a book. Will it be good? I don't know. I just want to write my heart out and try. If people think it sucks, or it's embarrassing, so be it. At least I will try, and that's more than I can say for most people I know.
This year I will start a publishing company. I will publish my books, my friends art that I believe in, basically anything I think should be out there.
This year I will take a road trip. Right now it looks like my camping trip to Big Sur is going to be a go.
I will read 5 new books a month. If you're not reading, you're getting dumber.
At the end of the year I will see what my goals look like for 2011, but I think one of them definitely is to go to San Fermin - the nine day festival in Pamplona, Spain surrounding the Running Of The Bulls.
For the past few months I've been living a pretty zombie-like lifestyle. Get up, go to work, come home, veg, go to sleep, lather rinse repeat, etc. I've turned into this useless blob of a human being when I'm not working. I think most people are okay with this in themselves, as long as they're working and contributing and paying their bills. After all, who doesn't want to come home after a long day of work and just chill out, watch t.v., eat some good food, and relax?
Me. I don't.
Here's the thing; as far as I'm concerned - when you die, you die. That's it. Game over. I think for most people this is a harrowing thought (and probably the basis for religion), but for me it's liberating. I HATE myself for wasting my precious time on Earth. I get this sick feeling in my stomach realizing I wasted a day. One whole day of my life I spent napping or watching TV or some bullshit.
I cannot die knowing I wasted time and opportunities. There are so many amazing breathtaking things to see and do on Earth. And on top of that, THEY'RE ACCESSIBLE. Want to see The Pyramids? Get a job, buy a plane ticket. IT IS THAT EASY. You can do these things if you want, you just have to have to will and drive. That lack of will and drive is exactly what I hate and loathe about the current generation. They do what they're told, their taste in art and entertainment is based entirely on what is fed to them by the media, they don't read, they are BORING. That lifestyle disgusts me. I grew up hating normalcy. I wanted so bad to distance myself from the normal people and now I find myself having that sedentary apathetic lifestyle creeping into my life.
Nope. No more.
I will waste no more time.
This year I will write a book. Will it be good? I don't know. I just want to write my heart out and try. If people think it sucks, or it's embarrassing, so be it. At least I will try, and that's more than I can say for most people I know.
This year I will start a publishing company. I will publish my books, my friends art that I believe in, basically anything I think should be out there.
This year I will take a road trip. Right now it looks like my camping trip to Big Sur is going to be a go.
I will read 5 new books a month. If you're not reading, you're getting dumber.
At the end of the year I will see what my goals look like for 2011, but I think one of them definitely is to go to San Fermin - the nine day festival in Pamplona, Spain surrounding the Running Of The Bulls.