Germany!!!! crap!!!!
well, it's been a while since i updated. like since june.
for those of you that don't know, i'm going to germany for 6 months and i'm fucking scared and i leave in less than a month. i never knew a month could seem so short, but i already have plans for every single weekend until i leave! aaaah! that makes it seem even sooner than it really is. and i also am only in school for 6 more days. sooooo very scared...but still excited. i don't know how i will be when i get there. i'm going to be working 12 or so hours a day doing physical labor and i don't know how i'm going to do under those conditions. (i'm going to germany because i ride horses and i will be working at a barn excercising and grooming horses, cleaning stalls, and cleaning tack). i'm also really scared because i will be living in an apartment by myself. i'm only 17 and already i will be given full freedom and my own apartment. i don't know what that's going to be like. plus, i don't speak german!!! yes i know that most of the germans speak good english, but still, that's scary.
oh god...just thinking about leaving my friends hear makes me want to cry. i haven't yet, because i don't believe that its really happening but i know that i will when it hits me. and once i start i don't know how i'm ever going to stop. i'm going to miss you guys so much! shit...now that i've said that my eyes are watering. it's so hard to think about, but i know that i have to eventually. i can't just keep pretending that i will be there and here at the same time, but thats what i keep doing. alright, i'll stop being emo, paranoid, and flippy-outy (that's a word!).
love you all!
for those of you that don't know, i'm going to germany for 6 months and i'm fucking scared and i leave in less than a month. i never knew a month could seem so short, but i already have plans for every single weekend until i leave! aaaah! that makes it seem even sooner than it really is. and i also am only in school for 6 more days. sooooo very scared...but still excited. i don't know how i will be when i get there. i'm going to be working 12 or so hours a day doing physical labor and i don't know how i'm going to do under those conditions. (i'm going to germany because i ride horses and i will be working at a barn excercising and grooming horses, cleaning stalls, and cleaning tack). i'm also really scared because i will be living in an apartment by myself. i'm only 17 and already i will be given full freedom and my own apartment. i don't know what that's going to be like. plus, i don't speak german!!! yes i know that most of the germans speak good english, but still, that's scary.
oh god...just thinking about leaving my friends hear makes me want to cry. i haven't yet, because i don't believe that its really happening but i know that i will when it hits me. and once i start i don't know how i'm ever going to stop. i'm going to miss you guys so much! shit...now that i've said that my eyes are watering. it's so hard to think about, but i know that i have to eventually. i can't just keep pretending that i will be there and here at the same time, but thats what i keep doing. alright, i'll stop being emo, paranoid, and flippy-outy (that's a word!).
love you all!