(no subject)
Randy,
We have some things we need to get straight here. If you want to know what I want from you, then listen carefully, because I don't want to go over this any more than I already have. It is your choice whether you want to be a part of my life, but if this is the way you are going to handle things as a part of my life, then maybe you should reconsider.
Before I left, I said to you that I didn't want my car to be all worn out and used to the excess while I was gone. That car has to last me a long time; I thought you knew that. You've ignored my request and put a ton of miles on it. Of course that's not okay with me. I'm sick of hearing that I owe you because you're taking care of my car for me while I'm gone. You aren't taking care of it by putting all those miles on it. You're also not doing me a favor by paying for insurance on it while I'm gone-- that's for your own benefit, so don't act like that's an act of good will. It doesn't need insurance while I'm gone unless somebody else uses it, which I told you I did not prefer. Don't bother detailing it, etc. , if it means that I'm somehow indebted to you. I'd rather not be.
I think you know this is not about you spelling my name wrong; I just mentioned that to mom because I was frustrated. But it does seem strange to me that you've been around since I was little and you still don't know how to spell my name correctly...
I don't appreciate that you are making this a battle between you and mom, one that you expect me to take sides on. Despite what you seem to think, Mom has not been discouraging, encouraging, or interfering whatsoever in our relationship. I'm not going to take your side, so if that means you want no more contact with me, then so be it. You knew from the beginning that every time you do hurtful things to her, you do hurtful things to me; I told you about that from the beginning of all of this. You cannot completely separate us, and frankly it hurts that you're asking me to do so. If those are the conditions of our having a relationship, then count me out. When you are malicious towards her, I feel it just as much. This isn't easy for anyone, and the way you've been acting about all of this doesn't make it any better.
I talk to Mom. I won't stop talking to her and, like it or not, the divorce is something we talk about-- that's healthy, in my opinion. If that's a problem, then it's your problem, not mine. Quit badgering Mom about it; it's not wrong for us to talk. She's been the only one I could talk to for years and years, and that will NOT change. I confide things in her, and I do so confidently.
If you continue on like this, we are through. I can't handle this stress, especially when I'm thousands of miles away. I'm sick of you acting like Mom is evil. If you think all this hurts you, then think about how it's affecting me. This would be awful enough with me at home, but it's even worse when I'm so far away. I'm at my breaking point right now. You need to make some decisions about your future actions, and I urge you to make them carefully, because our relationship is on the line right now. You can't say you want a healthy relationship with me and turn around behind my back and treat my mother the way you've been treating her. Do you think I don't know about it? When you do these things to Mom and then act nice to my face, it feels fake to me.
Am I making this clear enough? Call my mother a bitch again and see where it gets you with our relationship. I can't ignore that. You say you love me but your actions at home aren't showing it. These things matter to me, and they should matter to you too. I don't want to lose a relationship with you, either, but it's hard for me to feel optimistic about it right now. Do some serious thinking and get back to me, please.
Jessica
We have some things we need to get straight here. If you want to know what I want from you, then listen carefully, because I don't want to go over this any more than I already have. It is your choice whether you want to be a part of my life, but if this is the way you are going to handle things as a part of my life, then maybe you should reconsider.
Before I left, I said to you that I didn't want my car to be all worn out and used to the excess while I was gone. That car has to last me a long time; I thought you knew that. You've ignored my request and put a ton of miles on it. Of course that's not okay with me. I'm sick of hearing that I owe you because you're taking care of my car for me while I'm gone. You aren't taking care of it by putting all those miles on it. You're also not doing me a favor by paying for insurance on it while I'm gone-- that's for your own benefit, so don't act like that's an act of good will. It doesn't need insurance while I'm gone unless somebody else uses it, which I told you I did not prefer. Don't bother detailing it, etc. , if it means that I'm somehow indebted to you. I'd rather not be.
I think you know this is not about you spelling my name wrong; I just mentioned that to mom because I was frustrated. But it does seem strange to me that you've been around since I was little and you still don't know how to spell my name correctly...
I don't appreciate that you are making this a battle between you and mom, one that you expect me to take sides on. Despite what you seem to think, Mom has not been discouraging, encouraging, or interfering whatsoever in our relationship. I'm not going to take your side, so if that means you want no more contact with me, then so be it. You knew from the beginning that every time you do hurtful things to her, you do hurtful things to me; I told you about that from the beginning of all of this. You cannot completely separate us, and frankly it hurts that you're asking me to do so. If those are the conditions of our having a relationship, then count me out. When you are malicious towards her, I feel it just as much. This isn't easy for anyone, and the way you've been acting about all of this doesn't make it any better.
I talk to Mom. I won't stop talking to her and, like it or not, the divorce is something we talk about-- that's healthy, in my opinion. If that's a problem, then it's your problem, not mine. Quit badgering Mom about it; it's not wrong for us to talk. She's been the only one I could talk to for years and years, and that will NOT change. I confide things in her, and I do so confidently.
If you continue on like this, we are through. I can't handle this stress, especially when I'm thousands of miles away. I'm sick of you acting like Mom is evil. If you think all this hurts you, then think about how it's affecting me. This would be awful enough with me at home, but it's even worse when I'm so far away. I'm at my breaking point right now. You need to make some decisions about your future actions, and I urge you to make them carefully, because our relationship is on the line right now. You can't say you want a healthy relationship with me and turn around behind my back and treat my mother the way you've been treating her. Do you think I don't know about it? When you do these things to Mom and then act nice to my face, it feels fake to me.
Am I making this clear enough? Call my mother a bitch again and see where it gets you with our relationship. I can't ignore that. You say you love me but your actions at home aren't showing it. These things matter to me, and they should matter to you too. I don't want to lose a relationship with you, either, but it's hard for me to feel optimistic about it right now. Do some serious thinking and get back to me, please.
Jessica