finally friday...
this week was .. ridiculous. the break from homework was welcome.. and much needed. i know i've been FREEEEAking out all week, i'm sorry if i ever took it out on you and how i kinda - broke down, per se..
things, i think, are starting to look up. not just event-wise, but attitude-wise. i mean, yes (please don't say 'i told you so'), i'm glad j's out of my life. i really do think this is for the best. yes, i know there's a reason for everything.. i'm not sure what his purpose was, except maybe to instill in me even more doubt about the male gender and their assholic tendencies. gah.
chbosky wrote once, "we accept the love we think we deserve." i think it's one of the most true things i have ever heard in my entire life, and not just in relation to him - to everyone.
and yes, about attitude... about the other Situations, especially that One Situation... i've come to terms with the fact that i can't control the world - and especially the people in it - despite my valiant efforts. it was kind of a let-down. but that's all you have, that all you can do is what you can do with what you have. you can't force someone to do anything or feel anything or want anything.
so again, i'm going to remind myself to stop fretting. to go with the flow. to shrug. to not freak out every time things don't go the way i expected. and to expect less. perhaps if i had stuck with that in the first place, things wouldn't be so mucked up about now.
are you deceiving?
old age is just around the bend
and i can't wait to be gray
i'll sit and wonder
of every love that could have been
if i had only thought of something charming to say
~ death cab for cutie, "the sound of settling" (yeah, the Ba-BAH! song we listened to during the emergency-reading-session)
things, i think, are starting to look up. not just event-wise, but attitude-wise. i mean, yes (please don't say 'i told you so'), i'm glad j's out of my life. i really do think this is for the best. yes, i know there's a reason for everything.. i'm not sure what his purpose was, except maybe to instill in me even more doubt about the male gender and their assholic tendencies. gah.
chbosky wrote once, "we accept the love we think we deserve." i think it's one of the most true things i have ever heard in my entire life, and not just in relation to him - to everyone.
and yes, about attitude... about the other Situations, especially that One Situation... i've come to terms with the fact that i can't control the world - and especially the people in it - despite my valiant efforts. it was kind of a let-down. but that's all you have, that all you can do is what you can do with what you have. you can't force someone to do anything or feel anything or want anything.
so again, i'm going to remind myself to stop fretting. to go with the flow. to shrug. to not freak out every time things don't go the way i expected. and to expect less. perhaps if i had stuck with that in the first place, things wouldn't be so mucked up about now.
are you deceiving?
old age is just around the bend
and i can't wait to be gray
i'll sit and wonder
of every love that could have been
if i had only thought of something charming to say
~ death cab for cutie, "the sound of settling" (yeah, the Ba-BAH! song we listened to during the emergency-reading-session)